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What is the worst thing anyone has or can say to you about migraine?

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Post  Mini Sun May 22, 2011 7:58 am

Nice to see you again, even if I am sorry to hear that you are still suffering daily pain.

I must say I am terrible impressed since you show tremendous maturity by remidning us that we need to keep eductaion people, rather then getting angry and frustrated - you are absolutely right of course. I cannot argue with that.

However, since I am much older then you, I must admit that over the years I have tried and I keep trying to explain migraine as much and as often as is practical, and yes, it helps and people do get educated in the process. But they forget.

They are human, and since they cannot "see" migraine, since our pain is mostly invisible, they keep making insensitive, or hartful, remarks and so it is back to frustration and anger, and misery of being misunderstood, as well as having to cope with this complex condition. (I also have some other pain/health issue which causes similar problems.)

I hope that you have managed to settle down in Peking a little better, and that life is a little more bearable for you. We have been thinking about you.
Have you manage to find a decent doctor? Made any new friends?

Do keep in touch - you are not alone in this.
Mini
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Post  Paradox Mon Jun 06, 2011 2:17 am

Jwar- how did you keep from exploding!? My MIL is slightly more subtle than that.

Migraingirl- my hubby did not understand panic attacks (I needed to get my sh$& together). He's usually very sympathetic except when it came to sitting in the ER with me convinced I'm dying only to be told I'm having a panic attack. Then he had one. And went to ER cause he KNEW he was having a heart attack. And was told he was having a panic attack.

He is much more understanding now.
Paradox
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Post  jwar Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:27 am

Charlotte,

Years of practice. I think my MIL revels in her lack of subtlety. I could tell you hours and hours of stories.

The best way I've learned to deal with her is by moving 600 miles away. We used to live about 40 miles away and it was much, much too close. Very Happy

-Jayme
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Post  Matilda Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:03 pm

I had a co-worker say once -

"when I get a migraine, I can't do anthing. I have to sleep in the dark with no light or sound.
If you have a migraine, why aren't you at home in bed?

I responded with:-

"I have suffered with migraine nearly every day for the last 12 years. If I did curl up in bed everytime I had a migraine,
I wouldn't have left my bed for the last 12 years. If I want to live my life, I have no chioce.
How often do you get migraines?"

She said:-

"Maybe 1 or 2 a year".

Matilda

Posts : 29
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Post  Matilda Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:15 pm

I also had a Doctor once tell me that all I needed "was to have a few kids".

I don't have any children because I have a hard enough time just looking after myself.

When I left his office and went back to the waiting room, there were kids everywhere!

This must be his answer for every problem.

I never went back.

I have also had friends say " I stopped getting migraines when I had the children". - It's possible, but not a guarentee.

Matilda

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Post  Matilda Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:30 pm

Okay, last one.

Two co-workers standing near me.
One says to the other "I've got the worst headache".

The other one said.
"Matilda has migraines all the time. Go ask her if she has anything you can take.
Her handbag is like a medicine cabinet, she should have some aspirin or something"

-

It is true. I'll admit... I'm a walking medicine cabinet.


Last edited by Matilda on Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:09 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : username has been edited.)

Matilda

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Post  Brenda Fri Jul 01, 2011 5:12 pm

I can't imagine having your own doctor say some of the insensitive things I've seen here. I did have an ER doctor do that to me once, but I just chalked it up to him being a huge jerk. The doctor I had before this one was very understanding and worked tirelessly to find something to help. The doctor I see how REALLY understands because he gets cluster headaches. He told me once that he really admires how I keep going and try to function and take care of my husband (who is handicapped) when I have nearly daily migraines. He said "you're a stronger person than I am. When I get clusters, I just want to curl up into a ball in a dark quiet room. You're a good woman." Made me feel good to hear someone understands that it's not easy.

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Post  Nicole'smom Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:10 am

Thanks for starting this thread. It has been very enlightening reading everyone's experiences. Here are some of mine:

1. Your always sick! (sorry my disease is affecting you)
2. You don't look like you have a bad HA. ( well, you look like an idiot!)
3. You want to go on a run? ( hello? I just said I have a migraine.)
4. Let's have sex...it will help. (you or me?)
5. what are you good for anyway? (that one dumbfounded me.)
Nicole'smom
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Post  Kate Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:42 pm

Most of what the others have said. Because I'm up and about plus working, others don't think it's that bad. The only one who can tell when I'm not feeling well is my dh. He can tell by how my eyes look. There has been times that I shouldn't have been at work it was so bad but most wouldn't have even noticed. I can fake it pretty good.

Kate

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Post  3goofykids Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:09 am

I started getting migraines at the age of 5! I'm now 38.
When I realized what was going on, my mom refused to take me to the doctor because "There's nothing they can do for you" Boy it felt good to go to the doctor at 18 and the doctor be able to start helping me and then tell my mom that there was help for me.

Husband: "You get migraines at the most inconvenient times" (Like I plan these things....)
My kids, as a storm is moving in: "Mom, are you getting one of your headaches?"
Friends: "How do you function?"

My neurologist is totally awesome. He takes care of me as far as meds are concerned. I've only had to call him a few times when I've hit that 10 pain threshold. He calls stuff in for me. He agrees that ERs are a pain in the rear and for me to just avoid them and call him to make a determination about what I should do.

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