love at first site

Hey friends!
I havent been on much. but i truely value all of your opinions.
I posted earlier about being in the process of divorcing - and how my head is SO MUCH better.
Well, there is more to the story than I told you guys.
I August I attempted suicide. I can very close to succeeding.
That was the impetus for me me to change my life.
THe day i got home from the hospital i asked Him to leave.
I have been going to counseling and feel better than i have in years.
So i decided to get out and date a little.
I have had several dates (surprised that i was so popular!) alot of bad ones (ug tracksuit guy).
So I started talking to one guy we texted back & forth for a few weeks just asking silly questions back & forth.
The friday after thanksgiving I texted him and asked him if he wanted to meet.
He said he did but he was waiting for a cab to come take him home (he works on the railroad).
So i said "why don't I come get you?". He agreed and I drove 90 minutes to pick him up!!
Our first meet was great, we talked about everything and it was so easy.
We have seen each other a few more times, and we talk all of the time.
He has so many of the qualities that i wish my husband had.
I told him about the suicide attempt on saturday nite, to give him the opportunity to run. He caressed my cheek, told me how thankful he was that i was not successful, and to promise him that if i ever felt that way again to tell him.

My question is do you guys believe in love at first site? I know it sounds silly. I am a grown woman, and i have been hurt alot, but this man...................................... I don't even know how to quantify it.
So i am interested in hearing any opinions stories that you kind folks are willing to share with me!!

Beth

I believe in infatuation at first sight that can evolve into love. I think it takes time to get to know someone and have them share with you. I thought I had that with the last person I dated but when it came down to talking about the future, he ran. So what I learned was, if they aren't interested in spending time with your family and friends, it's not going to work. If they don't include you in their family, it's not going to work.

He treated me great, did all sorts of stuff for me, handled my medical issues really well, and appeared to want to have a relationship, but there were always excuses for not doing family and friend stuff. When I brought up a future, he changed almost overnight and withdrew until I figured out he really didn't want a relationship with me.

So, go with your feelings but keep an eye out for the red flags. We are old enough now to not play games and if you are lucky enough to find someone who is real, honest and doesn't play games, you will find that the infatuation that you feel now evolves into real love. That rush you feel at the beginning is important because that means that you are connecting at some level, just make sure that it is real and that takes a bit of time. Have fun and I hope it works out for both of you.

Alli

Nursebeth, I do believe in intense emotions so yes in love at first sight too.

But... girl you are so still in vulnerable state. You attempted suicide, (I am so very sorry and saddened to learn that, and so relieved it wasn't successful) you are very very fragile right now.
What you crave now is desperately for you to someone to love and love you back.

Beware of that 'cuz what you need right now is to get to know yourself well, who you are, who you were, who you want to be, and most of all who do wanna be.
What you can give someone and what you can NOT. And likewise, what do you want from someone. And STICK to it.

From your post I got the impression you jumped rather quickly in this new relationship - you drove 90 minutes to see this guy.
This is not a bad thing in itself but rather an indication that you are expecting much more from this encounter than he is.
This may lead to hurt later on.
I am at the point in my life when I believe it's time for the guys to show this much effort to get ME!

Please forgive me for being so brutally frank but I don't do that because I enjoy to be mean - I care about your well being, that's why. With my deepest apologies, please accept my opinion without prejudice, please weight what I've said and if you think I am wrong then by all means disregard it without further thought!

Risa

nursebeth,

firstly, i'm glad to hear you are with us! i hope you are able to get out and have some fun, but please be careful.

good luck!

and yes, i think there can be love at first site.

I think I've always been more of a LUST at first sight kind of person.

So glad you are with us. I'm glad you found the strength within you to push forward and move on with your life. Also that you're going to therapy to help you keep your new found strength.

Move slowly and cautiously, but enjoy!

Charlotte (formerly Joan)

I am a believer in love at first sight, and I am glad you are still with us, too.

I knew I was going to marry my husband within 2 weeks of meeting him. There are some things you just know, and we have now been married for 14 years.

Yes, be careful, and cautious, and all of that, but also have fun and enjoy life. You deserve some fun and another shot at romance. Best of luck to you!

Thanks guys! I am glad that I am still here too!
Risa, believe me the things that you said have been running through my mind. At this point I don't feel like I have pursued him any more than he has me. The 90 minute trip was very impulsive unlike anything that i have ever done.
I am trying not to go too fast!
I am definately infatuated with him.
Beth

So very glad you are okay now.

I do beleive in love at first sight and hope it is reciprocated. The good news is that if it is true love it will stand that test of time to allow you to take care of what needs to be processed inside of you before you move on. If it is meant to be, you will be together next year too. Have faith in that while you deal with your last breakdown.

I sincerely hope you are dealing with why you wound up on the hospital in September and getting professional help. If you don't find the root cause,you may repeat it and destroy this wonderful thing you have found.

Angela

Hi Nursebeth,
it seems that you reached the bottom and that you're now climbing up the mountain again.
I think that in a person's life there's nothing really RIGHT or WRONG. Each of us has ups and downs, makes wrong choices, mistakes, but we also do wise things and take great decisions.

We cannot always be "right" or "wrong". Besides, what's wrong for me can instead be right to another human.

I agree with Risa. You simply must be ready for love. Then, love shows up in the most unexpected way

Take care

Howdy Beth

I am truly thankful you failed in August and that you made major changes in your life.

As to this new man, remember all the above thoughtful and wise advice in your best interest BUT

Enjoy the heck out of thiese great feelings filling your heart at this the holiday season. If you get hurt? So what, we migrainers certainly can handle pain. But who knows ... this just may be the one man of your dreams.

ENJOY the feelings and do not analyze them too awfully much. Love in all its forms is too precious to waste for a moment!

Richard,
As always I loved your advice!
I know it is early, but he could be that man

beth

Beth, I have no earth shattering info if this is THE man or not.....sorry!

I just want to let you know how thankful I am that you are here to post with us, enjoy this fun relationship, etc.

I pray that sort of darkness never returns to you.

With all my heart........Supporting You,

Mianna.

Yes, I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing your struggles with us.

I wish you all the best

Cheryl

I am so sorry you were so sad that you didn't want to be around anymore. Like everyone else, I am ecstatic that you were unsuccessful and realize you want to live and enjoy life.

You could very well be in love with this man but like the others, take your time. You are an awesome woman and deserve to enjoy your hard earned freedom for a while. If this man is the one for you, you and he will know it soon enough.

Again, I am so happy you are still here with us!

£eslie

Howdy Beth

I really ought to confess. I am in the same boat and I too am acting impulsively. I have met a great man online. I have known him a matter of days - hundreds of emails, tens of tens phone calls. He is flying to see me on Christmas Eve.

Are we fools rushing things? Oh yes! Oh my yes!

But I have counted the cost. On one hand I may have met the man of my dreams. On the other he may be a real flake in person and I have ruined my holidays. Potential for incredible Love on one hand versus likelihood of wasted time and emotions and a wee bit of money (I am feeding him afgter all). Potential versus embarrassment.

Frankly I am rolling the dice and taking the gamble. I think I know the very worse that could happen and I am QUITE willing to take that chance.

Of course I have been careful to avoid identity theft scam or false presentation. I have even had a conversation with this man's mother! (He is 7 years younger than I am - still past middle age though! LOL)

So Beth, I too am acting the fool ... and having an utterly marvelous time doing so!

AAAhhhh Richard,
I rather think I like being foolish!
I feel like a young girl again!
I am just going with the flow and seeing where it takes me.
I know that in alot of ways I am probably vulnerable, but I also know the things that I can never live with or without again.
I know that alot of folks probably thought that i jumped back into the dating pool too quickly - but i had not been in love with my husband for many years, so it seemed like a maddeningly slow return to me.
I am so happy for you, it is so good to hear you being happy and optimistic!
Maybe we have found our dream men, maybe not - but we sure as heck can have fun finding out!!!!!
Beth

Beth,it's so good to have you here. People can have an instant connection to another person, whether it's love is determined by the two. I myself made an instant connection to a wonderful woman online one day, just two people who visited a site randomly for the first time mind you. We chatted and 9 years later we just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. Yeah I have to say there was something very different and yes love came very early. We had spent time in a bad marriage and waded through rough years, but we were attracted to the opposite of what made us miserable before. Beth if there's one thing that gives you an advantage now in life, it's the insight as to what you don't want in a person and where you don't want to be in life. That's wisdom that can help you steer clear of so many obstacles and find those better people and spots in life a lot easier now. Again, good to have you here.

Update: Mike & I have decided to be exclusive

beth

Woo hoo!

Charlotte

Beth,
That's great news. I assume that you have a strong support system right now, both personal and professional, and I just advise that you keep them near to you which ever way things lead. You are vulnerable to extreme emotion, both positive and negative right now...and we all can use someone to grab onto when the tides get too rough. As long as you keep your supports in tact, I don't think it's too soon to let yourself feel great....especially after feeling so awful for so long.

Best Wishes. Please Keep us posted.

Jessica

Beth..We are all so thankful that you are here !

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We all just want the best for you..glad that you happy [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

I am so excited for you and for Richard. I love that fluttery new love feeling! How is it going? I hope you don't mind me living vicariously through you! I've been with the same man for almost 8 years. It is great.. but exciting and fluttery it ain't

Please have fun and enjoy!

Mary Anne

things are going sooo good.
I do get a little panicy sometimes thinking its too good to be true.
he looks deeply into my eyes and tells me how pretty I am, things that I am not accustomed to at all!
for a long time I thought i'd never be happy, that maybe I didn't deserve happiness - but now I really believe that happiness is a possibility!!

Marvelous!

Cheryl

I am happy for you!!!

btw I love your tattoo! I mean to comment on it in the other post but never got around to do it, sorry.
But it's terrific!! I still didn't find anything I would love enough to want to put on my body, but keep hoping I will find one day this "it". Cuz I really REALLY want a tattoo.

Risa