Poll on suicide and migraines

I think it's important that people know that they are not alone when it comes to thinking about suicide.

These thoughts are not uncommon among those in chronic pain.

The forum about suicide does not allow a person to respond without identifying themselves, so I thought I'd set up a poll.

Please vote and don't feel the need to comment if you do not wish to.

If you are considering suicide, please seek out someone to talk to. You are not alone, and many people in chronic pain consider this option.

Many people get through the suicidal thoughts and continue on with normal life. If you are going through this now, please seek out help.

I have considered suicide but not because of migraines. I guess that doesn't count because you're asking specifically about migraines.

Chris

Yes, I was careful to word it the way I did so it was specific to migraines.

http://headaches.about.com/od/advocacyissues/a/er_suicide.htm

Excellent article (thanks to Teri Roberts and to Milo for posting it).

Although our pain leaves us with not much of a life, I can't imagine going through with it and hurting my loved ones. I know too many families who have suffered through this--I just can't imagine the grief they feel.

I think Montana has one of the highest suicide rates per capita in the U.S. Not a good thing.

Becky

http://www.findcounseling.com/help/news/2007/04/migrainesuicide_link_may_appear_as_early_as_middle_school.html

I'm trying to post short articles that are easy to read. This one is from 2000.


http://www.medicine.ox.ac.uk/bandolier/band67/b67-5.html

Longer acedemic article

http://www.neurology-asia.org/articles/20062_103.pdf

One of the reasons I find this poll helpful is because it lets migrainers know that they are not the only ones having spooky thoughts of suicide.

Look how many of us have! And we are all here to take a poll on it, so even though we have had these thoughts, we have choosen to keep up the fight.

bump

Each time I was hit with one (4-5 per month) it was overwhelming to contemplate dealing with these the rest of my life. Not just the pain but the apathy,ignorance and indifference from family, friends, work mates and worst of all doctors.

Wondering how long it will be before I have liver, upper GI and kidney problems from all the pain meds.

Never being able to commit to anything out of not being able to keep your word if a mig hits.

All of that quite often left me feeling why should I have to deal with this. How long should anyone be expected to live this type of horrid life?

Yes my family and friends would miss me but THEY ARE NOT THE ONE SUFFERING. As much as we are bonded with our pets we know it is not right or merciful to allow them to suffer. Is it right to let a human suffer for years or decades?

I am a right to die proponent but migraines don't even fall under the required category.

Anyone that has moderately severe migs and has to deal with all the hell that comes with them will at least think about "ending it".

I think about it often but I don't think I will ever do it because I have an Autistic son and friends who would feel very guilty. I am also a Christian and believe I would go to hell. I wouldn't like that at all. It could be an eternity of migraine.

The problem is I have had this migraine for 1 1/2 years and it is usually very painful. It never goes away. I have been on disability from work. Not SS but insurance disability for work. My company hasn't technically let me go but they won't wait forever for me to come back. I can't celebrate any holidays anymore. My life is over...I have no life but trying to see my son as much as I am able. I have 50% custody of him and his Father and his Father's parents help a lot. I am very lucky for that. I have no one in my life to help me. No spouse, no boyfriend, no relative living close by. I can't think very well anymore most of the time. I am at the point where I have to file bankruptcy. I am hoping I will be able to keep my condo but I don't know. I am trying to think of what kind of work I could do if I do get let go. Obviously no one would hire me in my current condition but if I get better. I have been a word processing manager for an engineering company for 13 years. I love my job and I love working but I can't do it. Over the past year and a half I've tried going into work whenever my migraine gets medium or less. But even if I make it there driving my car (which immediately makes it worse) I can't do simple tasks.

Not much left to live for except my son.

Thank goodness you love your son enough not to put him through the pain of losing you.

It gets so tough some times. I find coming here really helps. People here understand.

It's amazing that we have a safe enough forum that we can actually discuss the reality of suicide without anyone "freaking out" and calling 911.

I think it's really important that we continue to discuss it.

This poll shows how many of us think about it while dealing with our pain.

You are not alone in your suffering. Please hang in there.

It's amazing that we have a safe enough forum that we can actually discuss the reality of suicide without anyone "freaking out" and calling 911.

Agreed. It's not a topic that can be brought up with just anyone. Either they would think they need to rush us to a psyche ward, or they would think we were being overly melo-dramatic. As we all know we have migraines just to get attention! (I'm so happy I only have one relative with that attitude...everyone else is so supportive).

I agree that this is a safe place to discuss this. I know that if I told the people around me what went through my head they would probably lose it, but they don't understand what an M can do to a person. Or some of the meds for that matter.

I think this is why we do get concerned when a regular poster disappears for a while. While things may have gotten worse, we want to make sure that they are handling things and that mentally they are okay.

If you happen to be married to a paramedic like me then you really have to be careful on what you reveal. She deals weekly with voluntary and involuntary commits for psych evals.

And when it comes to counselors it's a catch 22. You need to discuss it and find a solution, even if it's just temporary. But you can also have the cops and a mental health professional knocking on your door with a commit order signed by a judge.

I worked in EMS myself and have transported several dozen IVC's. It's very traumatic to basically "arrest" someone who is already in a crisis state of mind. Telling them they will be held for 72 hrs. against their will. You are detained as if you were a POW with fewer rights then a criminal suspect. They can have an attorney and post bail.

The system in my state at least desperately needs to be changed.

I have discussed it with my counselor but always played a word/phrase game so she would not be alarmed enough to have to legally take action. If you do not know the laws/process in your state you could end up in a mess before you know it. It's wrong on so many levels.

In my old line of work I often had to go on "involuntary admits". Many times they were so morose there was no problem with compliance, but other times...watch out.

In so many professions you are encouraged to get counseling, yet if you reveal any true feelings it affects your career path (I'm thinking of the military here).

When I was at the height of my suicidal ideation the psychiatrist simply asked me if I thought I needed to be hospitalized. I said no. But, had I wanted to follow through with it I obviously would have no, too.

I didn't want the the ramifications of being on a psych. hold. I don't own guns, but I used to and may want to again. Hospitalization may prohibit me from exercising one of my fundamental American rights. Taken from a FOID card application: "My signature authorizes the Illinois State Police to verify answers given with the Department of Human Services and any medical facility used for the care or treatment of mental illness".

I'm not sure what the mechanism should be. Some people do need to be forced to get help. And yes, there should stop gaps to keep some people from obtaining guns. But, current methods also keep people from being open and honest and getting help.

Oh my. This brings a whole other aspect to the discussion. I've never had to deal with those sorts of issues but I can imagine what it could do to a person on the edge. I've not experienced a IVC either personally or with someone I know. Most of the suicides or attempted have not used weapons - I think it may have been that they were already in pain, not wanting to have more.

Personally, I do own a shotgun. I've had it for at least 10 years and used to competitively shoot with it. Would I ever use it to harm myself? Not intentionally and I do not store it loaded. I am a single lady and while I never want to aim it at a living thing, I would if I had to protect myself in my home. But this is me and there are others out there that would use it to harm themselves...but given that there may be an incident in their past, I don't feel that it should bar them from ever owning a weapon.

My thoughts and an interesting discussion.

Yeah, I know all about being married to someone that you need to watch your rhetoric with.

I have let my partner know that I was in BAD shape before and talked about not wanting to live with the pain. I know to never say the "s" word when I'm in a bad place, even if it's true.

I also work in psychiatry and know how often people in pain get labelled as having a "personality disorder" when they talk about suicide and their pain. Labelled a "PD" and end up dead because no one took their comments seriously.

I've found it sad but funny, as I know exactly how serious I was when I've said it.

Someone once posted that they just show their partner a "finger gun" to their head when it gets really bad and that the gesture gets the point across without any 911 calls.

I personally am a big fan of making a plan with your closest supports when you are feeling well, to dictate your care for those days when you are not well and need their help. We all know just how bad we can get when we are in our darkest moments, and it helps to shead some light on what to do for those that love us.

I also think it's a great idea to write yourself a positive note to remind yourself all the reasons to keep up the fight. Keep it safe and read it to yourself in your dark moments.

I am fortunate that I can abort most of my migraines. If I couldn't, I do not know what I would do.
I can only imagine what a lot of you guys are living through. I have a hard time with the occasional one that isn't aborted right away. I try to explain it to people, but they do not get it. I have a high tolerance for pain, but not this kind. I don't think anyone should have to endure this. I think this disease should be shouted about to the top of rooftops. It affects so many people but is so misunderstood.

This brings up a point. I'm in a complicated relationship (it's long distance and he's never had an M in his life) and I don't always tell him everything. How do you talk to loved ones about this without scaring them to death?

I know my guy doesn't completely understand - I don't expect him too. How do you explain the pain and the other symptoms? Earlier this week, I was on depakote and having a melt-down just because (anti-convulsants bring out all the psychological s/e in me). We were texting back and forth and he asked how I was and I told him, wasn't feeling good and having a melt-down. He asked what was wrong, I said the medication was driving me crazy. He called because he was very concerned and got a bit upset when I said my problem was the medication. He thought I was avoiding the question rather than honestly answering.

The pain is easier to describe and I can make a joke of it a bit. This morning it is just awful - feels like someone hit me in my right eye with a baseball bat and extends up into my temple and towards the top of my head. This is easy to describe but how do you go about it when it gets worse than this? Because it does for me...frankly I'm a bit freaked out when it gets that bad but how do you signal to someone else that you are in a very bad place without scaring them?

As mentioned above with a wife that's a paramedic not only does she know how to "pull the trigger" on an IVC but we have both seen the very gory aftermath of many suicides. That puts someone into a completely different reality and far more prone to act or over react. I was seeing a counselor for pain management and I had no choice but to withhold my true state of mind. She would not be able to do anything more then she was already doing. That was being supportive and dealing with jerk docs and insurance crap when I was down and not able to function.

If you are seeing a counselor I would be careful to not cause more stress to our loved ones then necessary. But each one of our situations are so very, very different.

That worked for me for a while until the doctor assault that some of you may remember. Then things went very bad. My wife did contact an MHP for suggestions and since I already had a counselor and was keeping my appointments he said that they can't do much. She also knew that I was aware of the word game vs someone else who would not know until it was too late. It was a very stressful horrible time for both of us but for different reasons.

In my state (WA) the laws have to be changed so that someone can talk about it openly, get the help and not worry about becoming a locked up POW. Why the counselors in my state have not actively lobbied to change them is ridiculous. People are dying and families put through hell.

Thanks for the thoughts Brent.

This is one of those things I just don't know how to address and frankly my family would over-react, most of my friends know when I have a bad day that there is nothing that can be done but just be supportive.

I saw my neuro this week and he's changing the meds up. No more anti-convulsants and we are going to an anti-depressant coupled with a beta blocker. But since there is a family history of depression, he's having me see a chronic pain psychologist to make sure that he doesn't need to involve a psychiatrist in treatment. He thinks the familiar depression is part of the M problem and has seen this before and doesn't want to get in over his head with treatment. Perhaps the psychologist would be the one to give a bit more advice on how to deal with the issue of family and talking about things.

Rather random, but on topic...

There are suicide groups, that assist people with chronic illnesses to commit suicide. I'm just curious to know if these groups consider migraine as a valid reason to have an "assisted suicide"?

I don't think that would fly with non-migraineurs. I can picture it if you had daily chronic ones for years though.