Frustrated

This is more or less a whine session. I am feeling really lousy lately and I am not sure what is wrong. I am back to having migraines every day again which could be a lot of the reason. But otherwise, I feel really tired and ill all the time. I can't quite put my finger on it. Hope this doesn't sound stupid.

It doesn't sound stupid at all. Most of us with chronic daily migraine feel that way.

There is always pain, and the physical and emotional symptoms go up and down throughout the day and day to day (like a roller coaster). It's tiring and makes you feel yukky.

Becky

I understand completely. The good days are so few and far between. I miss the woman I used to be.

Charlotte

Don't worry, you aren't alone. It is so aggravating to be in pain all the time and it makes your mind do some funny things. I constantly have to snap myself out of it, and trust me if it weren't for my daughter I wouldn't even bother. It isn't you, it is most likely the migraines. Even on those good days I feel like all I want to do is sit around and just be. I have to actually will myself to get up and do something, but once I actually do I feel much better.

Try that. If you are feeling well, even if you are tired get up and go out. Even if it is something small and simple like a walk down the block or coffee with a friend. Just simply getting out of the house that you suffer in so often sometimes makes all the difference.

I know that putting on a little makeup and getting dressed up makes me feel really good. I walk past the big mirror in my house and say, "Damn..who is that hot girl!?" Even if I don't go anywhere or believe that I'm lookin' good for some reason it still does something to my ego. It's funny how if you will yourself to believe, it will be true.

I hope you feel better and get comfort in knowing that we know exactly what you mean.

paradox wrote:I understand completely. The good days are so few and far between. I miss the woman I used to be.

Charlotte

I totally get it. I too feel that way so much. Gosh was I energetic and fun back then...lol!


GREAT ADVICE LoveGia You are so right...the days I push through that FOG and make myself go do things that I feel I can't, I (almost) always am glad that I did. And getting ready does make ya feel good You must feel so great about yourself being down 30 lbs!! I am sooo jealous of that. It makes me (almost, again) want to give the 'ol Topamax a 3rd try. If it wasn't for the cognitive and emotional side effects I had..............I was bad off! I wish I could tolerate it tho, b/c I feel like I keep gaining. (These damn hormones are not helping at all!!! ) It feels so unfair, I am ballooning up and I feel ick!

Glad I am not the only one who feels this way. I wish none of us had to, of course, but you know what I mean. Fortunately, even though I am self-employed and do a lot of work online, I also have some offline clients. This forces me to get out and about. And , of course, with having 2 little ones there are always reasons to get out of the house too. You guys are right though it does seem like putting on some makeup and dressing nice does instantly make you feel better.

Stilhurtin, I hear you on the weight thing. I wish I lost 30 pounds. I still have my "baby weight" on from when I had my son and he is almost 1 1/2 already. I had the same problems as you on the Topomax, cognitive problems, memory problems.

I can't take any of the credit for my weight loss. I am lazy and I sit on my couch 90% of the time in pain. If it weren't for the topamax I'd be 30-40lbs heavier. I do not exercise or eat right anymore. I used to but now I don't eat very much. So yeah, some days I feel REALLY happy that I lost the weight and other days I feel like cow sh*& because I didn't do it the healthy way or the hard way, it just happened as a side effect. I would rather loose the weight because I'm happy and healthy going to the park with my daughter every day then loose it because I'm vomiting from migraines and not eating from stupid medication from migraines.

I'm very much like the both of you though. I sound about half as smart as I actually am. The computer is a luxury because I can delete before I post, reread, and think before I actually type anything. When I speak I'm a mess because of this medication. I can't remember anything, I can't draw words from my mind at all. I sound like a totally mess, luckily it is only for about an hour or two after I take my medication. In the beginning it was all the time. When I up my dose (like now) I'm a bit worse. I'm just not emotionally a wreck, I actually stabilize on topamax. It is the ONLY benefit besides weight loss and migraine control. I'd willingly become an idiot any day to have my migraines become less severe and less frequent (hopefully).

Justmek,

Don't fret. My daughter is 14ms old and before starting topamax even though I had ate healthy and went to the gym five times a week for an 1 1/2 hours I was still the same exact weight as when I came home from the hospital with her. Don't beat yourself up about it. Bet your still beautiful, just like Jessica is. It's really hard to not care but I think there is a time when your body says okay it is time to drop this baby weight, and it lets you do it. After Gia I had never had such a hard time loosing, but like I said when your body is ready you just have to follow it and eat healthy.

paradox wrote:I understand completely. The good days are so few and far between. I miss the woman I used to be.

Charlotte

you hit the nail on the head there! couldnt of put it better myself,

i am tempted to give topamax a try just for the weight loss!!! lol

I was just telling one of my office mates that I can't remember feeling "normal". So sad. He broke his back a few years ago and deals with horrible constant pain also so we can at least commiserate a bit. All in all, I'd rather be dealing with what I do than what he does.

Alli

theresae,

I have a huge feeling that as soon as I stop taking topamax if I do, I will gain all the weight back since the 30lbs I have lost so far has been lost in a VERY unhealthy manner. I don't eat. Thats the way I lost my weight. I have no appetite and looking at food makes me kind of sick to my stomach. When I do eat, I eat a couple of bites and I am full. I don't get hunger pains anymore, or I rarely do and welcome them with open arms! Bet ya as soon as I stop I will blow up like a balloon because my body is going into starvation mode now and when I eat normally my system will store food as fat thinking I will starve it again.

I try and force myself into eating. I eat a half a piece of toast in the morning and a little bit of my daughters lunch in the afternoon. I try to eat some dinner too, but it usually isn't much. Most of what I consume is water, as it is the only thing I actually crave. If I eat too much, I get horribly nauseated and throw up. Even if I drink too much water too fast I throw up. I wouldn't recommend going on topamax just to loose weight because in the end I feel it would be a disaster.

The bad thing for me is that I do not eat much and am relatively physically active considering, and I still cannot lose weight. I have had some various hormonal issues and things which my doctor thinks is the source. So for now not only do I not feel too great, I don't feel as if I look to great either, lol.