so thankful to find you-so alone for so long...

I have no clue why I haven't reached out before now. Why I haven't searched more for a place like this.
I have been suffering from migraines for the last 5 years. In the last 2 they have been getting progressively worse. It is so hard to talk to people who do not suffer. My husband is so supportive, but I feel embarrassed, by this disease. Like there should be something I can do to control them. I am working with a pretty good doctor of recent, but I still do not know what is causing them. I know a few triggers and avoid them, but others I cannot figure out. Migraines have ruined so many special times...and I am traveling for the first time in a while for a week out of state and I am terrified of getting a headache and not knowing what do do. I often end up in urgent care getting shots of narcotics which make the pain temporarily go away, but sometimes cause rebound headaches. I am trying Trximet right now, so far, not so good. I am also on Topimax and a beta blocker. Just started the beta blocker this week. I am so thankful to work with some really supportive folks because I have recently had to take day off for my head, and they know that I am trying my damndest to get better. But...Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and thank you.
mc

You are definitely not alone feeling like you do, here.
What you say is so typical of this condtion: feelings of unexplained guilt, letting others down, not being able to do a day's work, and that familiar fear of travelling in case it brings another migraine.
We all try to work out our triggers - the difficulty is that they do not always work in the same way, so it takes some time and much practice to realise what they are, or how best to avoid them.
It seems that they are worse when they are combined - one trigger alone might not trigger migraine one day, but if it is streesful day, bad weather, with bright lights, or you have some wrong food on the same day, then migraine will follow.

I am glad you found us. You will not be alone here, we understand exactly how you feel.

Perhaps it might help you if you also read the thread by LIVING about loneliness of migraine which is on this page. You will soon see how many of us feel exactly the same like you.
Hope to see you again.

Hi Mini,
Thanks so much for your response! I have been reading on this page and have felt so encouraged over the past day! My husband is also glad that I found the site too. So, I ended up in urgent care last night to get an injection and am dragging today, but no headache so far. The doc I saw there was really sympathetic, which usually isn't the case. He talked me thru my current meds and suggested upping my dosage of Topimax to 150mg/day. He also gave me a trial Rx for Stadol. Never had that before and think I am going to put a ? out to the board about it. I HAVE to be at work thru 1:30-2, but then will probably try and work from home. I have a GREAT job, with some flexibility and awesome co-workers, so I am blessed, but I never want to take advantage of it...but I am truly exhausted today and maybe still feeling the effects of the dilaudid. Again, thanks for the reply. This board is going to be my saving grace!
MC

WOW aloneinthezoo, you went to work the day after visiting urgent care the night before?!!!! I fully understand your feelings of embarrassment; I have the exact same emotions too. But I’m concerned for you. A lesson I am just now learning after years is that if I don't take the time to rest after a really bad migraine day (ER visit, oxy day) or even if I'm tired, then I will most certainly get even sicker and feel even worse.

I have to try to keep in mind that there is nothing to be embarrassed about, that I am not choosing to be sick, that I have the right to stay at home to rest and feel better so I can keep going. Allowing yourself rest to get better is nothing to be ashamed about.

I know this sounds dramatic but if you had a different accident, like a broken leg instead of an ER worthy migraine do you think you would be expected to go to the office today?

I hope I don’t come across as condescending but I find that not enough people out there are cheerleaders for migraine sufferers and I want to convey that you have rights and needs and that is ok. Rest and feel better if you can.

I posted on your stadol question too!

So you are embarrassed because you have another stupid migraine? Yeah, I get that. There is so much stigma about migraines, from people that don't have them, it can make you feel a little goofy to admit that is what has you in so much pain. Unfortunately, that is never going to go away. It isn't just the medications that can exhaust you. It can often be the fact that you are fighting pain for long periods of time, and that in itself is exhausting.

It sounds like you have a flexible enough job, where you can work from home, and maybe that would help if you could do it more often. I know you don't want to take advantage of it, but sometimes you can have issues with what I call 'environmental stimulation'. Maybe you have flourescent lights at work, and for some people that is a trigger. Maybe there is a co-worker who bathes in her perfume before coming to work, and that is a trigger. There are a lot of things out there that can start or aggrevate a headache. I have found that at home I am in much mor control of those things that can either set me off or perpetuate a migraine.

Please don't be embarrassed though. I was once very independent, and that created a challenge for me to accept my situation. I used to be embarrassed about it too. At times I hoped the DR's would find something on any of the tests just so that something would actually be wrong with me. By SOMETHING, I mean something concrete, something tangible, something people would understand and accept as an actual illness. Eventually I realized, or learned, that the only people who don't take migraines/headache conditions serioulsy are those who are ignorant and un-educated in migraine. And honestly, no matter how much you try to educate them, those people cannot be helped!

I hope you find some support here. It is a great forum to get to know others like yourself and have questions answered. It has helped me immensely. Just finding other folks that can relate and know how you feel, aren't just sympathetic, is great. It is also a help for family members to understand about the nature of the beast-so to speak!

Welcome to the zoo, alone! So you're not alone anymore =) It's not surprising that we wait so long to reach out. It's a crap zoo to be in. I wouldn't pay to visit the migraine zoo! LOL! bad joke soz!

I think I'm exactly where you are in this great journey of 'wishing we didn't have migraines and learning to accept that we do and how to manage them and reaching out to others who have them' lol. I found this forum reallllly supportive when I really needed some comfort last week - god I was low. Sorry to hear you had another one just on Thursday. Hope you're feeling much better.

Keep talking and keep reaching out. That's what I'm planning to do!

See you round here

How are you today, Alone? It has been sometime since you wrote, so I just thought I will say Hi, to let you know that we are still here, that you are not alone.
Hope your head is not too bad today.

I've been thinking about you as well. How are you?

Welcome to our little family. You no longer need to be alone. I had some limited success with Topimax, but had to go off of it when I got kidney stones. I've had these bad boys since I was 10, I'm nearly 46 now so I'm no stranger to the "zoo." I fully understand your feelings of guilt and being out of control. I think all of us feel that way from time to time. I'm glad you're here and that you've got a good support system in real life as well. Sometimes, you just need to talk to people who are in the same boat. We're here for you. Best of luck!