Fun Robert story

This morning hubby and I both overslept for work. I jumped up in a panic and went to wake up Robert, our 22 year old mentally handicapped son, to hustle him so that he can get ready for work.

Hmmm...no Robert...empty cereal bowl on the table, wet towel on the floor, lunchable gone from the fridge, jacket gone. Well, Robert got up in time and made it to the bus so he could get to work.

And we think he needs us. Yay, Robert!!!!

Hooray Robert! That is absolutely wonderful!

Now we need to work on the rule about NEVER waking Mom when she's sleeping.

Good for him, and good job to you for equipping him to do a good job

It makes me more and more confident that he will someday live semi-independently. Appropriate housing is difficult to find. He does not need a group home situation. In fact he is also mildly autistic and likes to be alone quite a bit so a situation where he was sharing a room with two or three others would be disastrous. His temper would flare.

Idealy he would live in a dormitory like setting. A small studio apartment with a kitchenette ( he can read well enough to microwave cook...that another puzzle of Robert) with a adult resident assistant living in a separate studio to be there for help with shopping and paying bills.

Personally I would like him to live with his Mama forever. I consider it a silver lining that I haven't had to go through the empty nest syndrome as soon as my other friends. But, it is in Roberts best interest to be as independent as possible and it's hard for me to not be over protective. My eldest is always getting on me about babying Robert. But he had sooooo many medical problems (since outgrown) that it's hard for me to let go and give him the room he needs to grow.

He sounds like a sweetie, no wonder you don't want him to leave!

lol.. I wish I could have seen your faces

Risa

When I used to live in Fresno, California, one of my friends from church was a young (she was in her late twenties or early thirties) retarded lady (she read at the third or fourth grade level).

She lived in an apartment complex (all single story) that was set up for mentally challanged, and possibly other handicapped, individuals (I never knew all the criteria for living there).

She did have a roommate, but I think that they had seperate bedrooms. While the apartment did have a small kitchen and dining area, the complex also had a central dining facility where, at least some, meals were served.

This program allowed more independance than a group home would have, while still providing a sheltered living environment.

Maybe a similar program could work for Robert?

That would be an ideal environment for Robert, Mule Kick. Unfortunately we live in a rural area where such housing is not offered. It was in the town 20 miles west of us and 30 miles north of us but funding was eliminated for the one west and since we live in a different county he doesn't qualify for the one North.

Unfortunately with the rise in autism, and other factors there are more and more Roberts and less and less funding for social services.

I'm on the Board for our local mental health agency. It's my push to get a agency like what you're talking about up and funded. That's when I get so frustrated by my limited stamina. My boy needs me and needs my advocacy, but I barely have the oomph to make it through my work day. Taking on a challenge of dealing with HUD laws and specifications? Makes my head swirl. And then I want to bury my head in the sand.

Well, what about if you and your husband retire - is it possible to sell the house and the land and purchase
a nice condo in the city? after all when we get older we have less energy and stamina to work in the yard and on the house.

So, owning the city apartment or a townhouse could be a good idea as this way you can relocate along with your sweet Robert?

Risa

Yes, that is more than likely how we will do it. We may even relocate to a different state that allocates more funds to the mentally handicapped.

The thing is, our community is wonderful to Robert. They love him. Everyone knows him. For years I was a guest lecturer in a local high school biology class. I would put a human face on what happens when chromosomes go awry. So there is about ten years of students who felt they "knew" Robert. And are very kind to him.

I stopped doing the lecturers when it was getting close to the time when Roberts classmates might have the class. I didn't want Roberts friends and classmates to know so much about him.

But, they know him and his personality. At his eighth grade graduation he was the only student to get a standing ovation from his classmates. In High School the valedictorian walked from behind the podium where he was announcing names to shake Roberts hand.

It's hard to move him from that kind of community support. But, in the end we may have to. And it will probably be fine. Some days I'm just a little low about it.

Great story Para! That's pretty cool.