I have received an email from my son UPDATE Christening,

Apparently his wife has taken exception to something I said, so I have had to be "spoken to"...

Ya gotta love your kids. My daughter has absolutely no problem "correcting" me when she thinks I am out of line. Even when I don't see anything wrong with what I have said or done.

They grow up and think they can tell us what to do....

Aint it the truth Alli. Apparently I said "sod you" to my grand daughter (I did not) and tried emotional blackmail when no cuddles ensued as they left. Truth is, I was stood on his right. His wife was hanging in the car on his left, putting said child in her seat, and she heard these things, yet he didnt.....AND, this crime was so heinous that it required an email 28 hours later....

So now I am the child and I need to be told....
He told me he knew I didnt mean any harm as he has had 37 years to get used to me....

If it wasn't for the colourful people in life, we'd have to live like all the black and white sepia people. There is a movie made about that called Pleasantville.

I like brightly coloured people. A little splash of green never hurt anyone and it makes for an interesting day. Tell her to squeeze that hard pea out of her butt and relax.

Translation please...what does " sod you" mean?

Oiy, wouldn't it be nice if people would just lighten up!

I've seen Pleasantville. I like this movie. They acted beautifully. William H Macy was great.

Risa

Sod you? I guess it would mean something like: Well never mind then, or I cant be bothered with you then.
Butr with a bit more inflection of a negative persuasion....

I loved the pea, we are all laughing at that....

alli wrote:Ya gotta love your kids. My daughter has absolutely no problem "correcting" me when she thinks I am out of line. Even when I don't see anything wrong with what I have said or done.

They grow up and think they can tell us what to do....

LOL Alli, I correct my dad. But only because he has a very liberal tongue when it comes to swear words and forgets he can't use them around his grandkids. As he puts it, he's not used to curbing his language (or thought processes) around anyone, young or old! He tells me when he gets annoyed at being corrected - though I'll still stick to my guns and say, "dad, the kids can hear you!"

sod you is very close to eff you or screw you.

I also love colorful people...wish the world had more of us. lol

milo wrote:sod you is very close to eff you or screw you.

I also love colorful people...wish the world had more of us. lol

NO Milo it is nothing like either, not in this country. It is mild and common parlance among all classes.
The two you mention would be quite unacceptable in most circles. They are crude and insulting and said in anger.

Please see here for a better explanation, but there must be a big difference between the two continents.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sod_(vulgarity)

doesn't depend on how it's used/said?

Not really Bubbs no. As it says on the Wiki link, its pretty tame these days.
I mean if one was in confrontation and used it, then it would be apparent it wasnt quite as chummy.
So yes inflection could make a difference. But the word sod has little inference these days in England.
When I was a kid, it was still a bit bad. But I think we are all desensitized. The language on our TV would make my mother flinch.

Like today I wrote to my friend in Utah that the weather here is really shitty right now and not to come over.
She wrote back..."I love how you said it was shitty".
If I had said that to my parents, my rear end would have stung....

So I guess, different cultures/countries and the passing of time.
We only really have two "bad" words here now.
And one of them is all over TV and is only really offensive if it is used "at" you.

Hope that helps

Interesting how it means such a different thing to me.

Sh*t is a good example to use...as it would have gotten me expelled in school but now it's considered so tame.

Regardless, I think your DIL was looking for a fight. My goodness, if a Grandma can't affectionately tease her grandkids.... And that's ignoring the fact that you didn't even say it!!!

I feel so lucky that my new DIL seems to like me and actually goes out if her way for my approval. Hopefully it stays that way!

So, did you stood your ground, Grandma Pen ?

Risa

Sounds like she needs to spit venenom on someone just for sake....
It's sad that she had to ask your son to tell you about that. She could have done it....

milo wrote:Interesting how it means such a different thing to me.

Sh*t is a good example to use...as it would have gotten me expelled in school but now it's considered so tame.

Indeed Milo, same here. All sorts of words have become mild swearing and hardly noticed.
I will say them for the comment. Bugger. Bloody (that was bad when I was a kid).
And in this country crap is not polite, but it is all over American TV.....
We say it, but older people would frown on it.

There is the one bad one the "C" word as they say, which is now also on TV....
And the "F" word, which is not acceptable among polite people, but still all over our TVs

I just remembered when was not so little, if my mum hurt herself she would shout out...
"Shit, bugger sod". And then laugh and say sorry.
My kids remember that, but the two girl hardly swear at all.

I though, am a bad person who is not to be trusted to speak properly....

CluelessKitty wrote:So, did you stood your ground, Grandma Pen ?
Risa

Yes I did Risa, and I feel a mixture of anger and pity for my son who had to be the messenger.
To be honest, I have been feeling so lousy with this bug and the extra migraines, I am not sure what, if anything I said.

My DIL was in a mood before they left (after Harry had thrown up here whilst they were at the store for 2 hours).
We spoke about his Christening and that they are not inviting any of my son's friends. I had the audacity to mention that a couple of them would find out through the one "couple" (they are all about couples) they are inviting, because this guy Ian sees them a lot.
Then my son said he is putting an embargo on FB photos so no one knows and she said "none of my friends will post photos".
I said nothing, but refuse to be part of any subterfuge. She does NOT like to be disagreed with. I didnt notice, but one of my girls said,she had "the look". So I guess the scene was already set, but I think I was too doped up to notice.

My DIL has lovely parents, and a nice sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She is guilt tripping because she has gone back to work and the 11m old is in nursery and the 4 year old is in half day school so she can go. They are collected by a child minder. They have also employed a cleaner for their tiny house.....
If only I had my health. I would have them at least some of the time. They dont need any more money. My son earns very well.

So Risa and all. She is very different from us. She is very different from my son, but he is with her now, and I am not stupid enough to interfere. But being treated like a child, and yes, her not having the balls to do it herself..,,.
We have decided to not ask to see them again. But to wait and see if it ever dawns on them that they havent bothered with us.

Sorry this is so long,. Talked so much, my sore throat is back....

Thanks for all your comments. I feel so much better for sharing....

That's probably best for the short term, but I hope they realize that Grandma and Grandpa are very important people and should be part of their children's life. It's so hard when you have someone in the family who is passive aggressive and a drama queen. It makes life harder than it has to be.

I correct my Mom sometimes too... She gets so negative at times that I have to say something before she pisses everyone off. She is the queen of letting people know when something doesn't suit her. It's especially fun when she does it at the store. Sooo embarassing! But I love her.

It is my grandson's Christening on 10th and his birthday a few days before.
So we will see them. Not sure how to play it.
thought maybe humour, kind of, I thought you were joking.....

What would you all do?
It will be among others so I dont want more brownie points taken away for creating a scene,....

P

Ignore it! If you want to change the words you use, then fine, but do not mention it to your d-i-l at all. Let her wonder.

Oops, answered on wrong thread! Sorry!

lesherb wrote:Ignore it! If you want to change the words you use, then fine, but do not mention it to your d-i-l at all. Let her wonder.

Think you're right Leslie. She has already managed to ignore the fact that I have been sick with a nasty bug for 2 weeks now.
And that my closest cousin died so suddenly. I dont think she cares about our family at all, but everyone thinks she is lovely so I am going to look like the baddie. I shall keep schtum...Thanks.

CluelessKitty wrote:So, did you stood your ground, Grandma Pen ?

Risa

oh i thinks also !

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See Pen, I told you she is the problem, not your son. Your son's only sin is that perhaps he is a tad spineless, perhaps, if you forgive me saying so.

But like you've said, he just wants to keep peace, and I understand that. He's right, in a way, because what, otherwise he'll be creating a war maybe.

But she, SHE is the root of the problem. I am sorry things aren't working well with your D-i-L..
I hope when she'll grow older she'll get more compassionate.


Risa