My husband finally gets it!

I'm sure we've all had spouses, significant others, and family members who just don't get it! We here from them that it's just a headache, and to suck it up. Well, after 6 long years of suffering with migraines and my husband who seemed to go out of his way to torture me with his hurtful words and actions has finally stopped!

Today is the day I take my abortive meds for my migraine that I have been suffering from for the last 7 days. I can honestly say that Doug and I have not gotten into ONE fight. He's been caring, sympathetic, encouraging, and attentive! I thanked him repetedly this morning before he went to work about how much of a difference it made for me that he changed his behavior.

I think non migraineurs really don't realize what a difference they can make just by being nice! Sure, it doesn't take the pain away, but just by putting in that little bit of extra effort makes the pain more bearable...at least for me. I don't know how many times I have asked Doug why he feels like he has to kick me when I'm down. I finally got through to him!

I only hope that all of you have that one special person that can be there for you even though they cannot feel your pain, they become part of the solution, not the problem.

~Doug finally realized that putting me down is not lifting me up~

I am in excruciating pain, only now, I truly feel like I have been given wings to fly!

Dawn

Hi,

Wonderful News. I'm so glad he finally realized the fact that migraine is much more than a bad headache.

Also, what's you secret? What caused him to understand? I would love it if you could give some pointers to some of my family members- mainly my siblings.

Pain free days,
sailingm

I'm so happy for you. My spouse doesn't get it as to how bad these things can be! I absolutely hate it when I hear something like "whats wrong with you now".

I guess I am lucky then. My husband of 39 years almost, (Sept 18) is pretty good.
He has been charting out my migraines in Excel to try to make sense of them.
With us trying to get away for a few days, we thought it might help....
He hasnt found anything, they seem to be totally random!!!
They come roughly every 4th day and last roughly 3 days....but that can deviate...

Anyway, I digress. He has his fault believe me....well he is a man
But when it comes to my problems he is patient and pretty tolerant.

I am glad you finally have some understanding.
You have made me appreciate what I have too.

Pen

Dawn, I'm so happy hubby has decided to be a positive support. It's going to help the kids too in turn be supportive spouses when they get married.

What did you say in your "Come to Jesus" speech?

I'm one of the lucky ones whose hubby has always "gotten" it, but perhaps I can use your experience in another situation.

That's great Dawn!

I have a question unrelated. If it is day 7 of your migraine, why are you just now taking an abortive?

Dawn..that is a true blessing. I'm glad your husband is being so kind now.

You are so right..when people that we love don't treat us well or kindly..it just adds to the stress.

Hoping and praying that you feel better soon.

Estre:

I don't know if you know m history, so I will give you brief...I used to get menstrual migraines the week before and during period. After trying every preventative, birth control, ect. they put me on Lupron for 4-5 months to shut off all hormones. Didn't get migraine at all for those months. They talkd me into getting full hysterectomy promising me that after hysterectomy, and being on a low steady dose of Estradiol would fix the problem because my hormones would not be able to spike during my period anymore.

For one year I was migraine free...then they came back with a vengence. From then on, I have been stuck in the this cycle of 5 days of no migraines, 7 days of migraines, then 3 days to recover from abortives. The reason why I have to wait is because 1. The meds don't work if I take them too soon. 2. I am only allowed 2 doses a month (High doses of demerol and Visteril). I can mark down on the calendar when the next one will strike. I have exactly 5 days after the recovery with no migraines...then it starts all over again. I take my meds exactly 15 days apart.

I have been to many neuros and none of them can explain what is happening. They have NEVER heard of migraines that cycle like this at all.

Dawn

Thanks for explaining. That makes sense then why you wait. I can't believe your doctors have never heard of migraines cycling. Mine
do also, so I suspect a lot of people's do. Mine are 2-3 a week like clock work regardless of what I do, the weather, etc. Mine were menstrual migraines when I started perimenopause. When menopause came, they cycled to 2-3 a week instead of once a month almost exactly to the day. I thought they may disappear. Instead they got worse. I also can't believe your doctor recommended a hysterectomy since he should have known that with menstrual migraines they some times end with menopause and sometimes get worse or stay the same.

I would keep hunting for answers--see if something else would work better. I wish you luck and hope you get better sooner than later.

P.S. You are so lucky to have a husband that gives your support. At least that is a blessing.

Congratulations, it is a big hurdle.

Mine was always good about the migraines - hard to ignore a sobbing wreck. But the tiredness, IBS and aches and pains he didn't at all. Wasn't tell I got blood tests showing results in 1000's for thryoid and allergy that he changed. That was last year and I've been having problems for 25.

The difference is incredible and because he's calmer about the whole think, so am I which in turn means I don't go down so hard. He is happy for me now to have a rest if I'm tired. Huge difference.

Dawn, Glad hubby is being more supportive. Mine just got tired of seeing me in bed all the time. I am sure I was no fun. If yours was hormone related you might try the progesterone approach. It has helped me quite a lot. It can be used by those who have gone through menopause.