Hitting bottom. Hard.

These are never nice things to write about, but I really wanted to share.
The daily migraines are still, if not worse, than they were years ago.
I was on the same useless pain control meds that I had been on for years.
And yes, I was depressed.

I took too much valium one day. Just 2 extra. I really wanted to sleep my bad migraine away. I also took a few extra opiates, which my doctor had supported me doing. Thinking back about it after that week of hell I am convinced that I just wanted to sleep (am a terrible insomniac....4:04am here) off my migraine.

My husband was at dog-training. He arrived to find me asleep. 6 hrs later I was still asleep. This basically went on from Saturday-Tuesday. I awoke to slurred speech, not remembering my last name or my dogs names.

He took me to the ER on Tuesday. I don't blame him for waiting....he has been put through so much grief as he admits he was in denial that the meds had done something.

The Dr. told me that the valium could have killed me. I'm one of those ones who takes a valium and feels NOTHING! A few extra pills are extremely dangerous.

Just thought I'd share my story. It's a bit embarrassing, but I think that this forum would be the place to let that week of anguish out. I hope you don't mind.

BTW, not only did I not get any follow-up therapy though asking for it, my pain dr has canceled ALL my pain meds, as he is the one who reviews other doctors prescriptions and dosages.
I have to get drug tested next month to make sure everything is out of me.

What I don't understand is.....going for a month with the daily Terrible pain I have with only OTC is such a frightening thought it doesn't do much to ease the depression about pain, does it?

I spoke to my psychiatrist, who has me on nortriptalyne, and he thinks that the pain dr is making a huge mistake. He even wrote a letter to him, which I helped write.

I'm so disgusted, and depressed at the same time......
Thanks for reading,
Tea

Tea, thanks for your story. I sometimes get a little careless with my own meds, not thinking about the risks. A key thing that has kept me from going too far has been the fear that I would get affected, but not killed by them, and the doctors would steal all my pain meds. I've heard of that happening to other people, and I just can't imagine living without pain meds. But I never realized that just a couple extra valium could do that much harm. I don't take valium, but I do take another in the class (sorry -- the migrainity is stopping me from remembering the name!) and have taken several at a time. Now I'll know to be more careful!

I really empathize with you about not having any pain meds. Please hang in there!

Tea,

First, I want to say that I am so happy that you are still here with us. I cannot imagine how terrified that experience must have been for you and your husband. He's a good man for taking you to the ER.

I feel for you being in constant daily pain. I know what that feels like. I also cannot imagine having to only take OTC medicine for pain and have some quality of life. I wouldn't!

I'm assuming by what you wrote that your psychiatrist thinks you should still be on pain meds? What do you think sweetie?

I hope it all works out for you and you get the best care that you deserve. I completely understand your pain and being depressed as I am also suffering from both. I am just thankful that I have a great doctor and I only hope that you do too and if you don't, that you find one.

If you want to talk further, PM me.

Hugs!

Last year I went through a similar hell (minus the intentional increase in meds). At my worst possible time, no doctor was prescribing pain meds....so I went without any pain meds through the worst episode to date.

I know it's wrong, but I now stockpile meds just in case this type of thing should ever happen again.

I have a stash of tylenol #4's in my emergency kit. I hope I never get to needing to use them, but they are there just in case.

It is so terrible to be at the mercy of others for basic pain relief.

This is one of the type if situations I teach all of my patients about, as many doctors will "pull" the meds if you take too many without permission and then you end up stuck without any. It's wrong but a very common thing.

Wow. I had no idea just two extra would do that. When Im hurting I can be pretty loosey-goosey with my pain meds. Last month with all the wedding activities I didn't pay attention at all just took what I needed to get through each day.

As a result I ran out before it was time for my refill. It's the first time Ive ever been through physical withdrawal. I was miserable for three days. I will NEVER go through that again. This month even though Ive been in tremendous pain with my back Ive not taken more than prescribed. Like Milo Im in stockpile mode in case something comes up where I can't get my regular meds.

I am so sorry that happened to you, but happy to know your psych. is on your side and will hopefully get it straightened out for you.

Grrrr Tea, what a sad sad story. you just wanted relief, and in the end your dr behaved like a coward he is -
instead to get to the root of the problem which is, IMO, under-treated pain, he cowardly removed all the meds leaving you hanging out in the cold, what a jerk.

I hope your psychiatrist will be able to convince him it's the wrong direction, but if I am allowed to offer advice,
if you can change the neuro, please.

Hugs, dear. And may the things improve for you.

Risa

I am sorry for you getting to that point. It's beyond frustrating and once again the docs who took an oath to first do no harm have violated it. Have you tried Ultram (tramadol)? It worked very well for me and quite often better then vocodin. It's very similar to a narcotic but docs are much more generous with it then the narcotic pain meds.

However I does keep me awake if I take it in the evening. Not that a mig wouldn't either. I would rather be awake and not hurting then awake and in pain.

Thanks for your support, everyone..it means a lot.
I've tried Ultram, Brent, but it never seemed to work for me. I'm an odd one. Some meds that are considered so potent I don't feel, and other mild OTC meds can affect me terribly (benadryl comes to mind...after a shot of it in the hospital, I almost stopped breathing).

I've worked really hard to foster good relationships with my doctors. I'm sure you all have as well. My GP and I go back 11 years, and I've had my pain dr for 4 years now. My pain dr. was very wary of treating me with strong meds in the beginning, but fortunately we gained a mutual trust and respect. Obviously I crossed that line, yet now my appt has been pushed back another 2 months (end of August!), which is so scary to be without meds for.

I have plenty of meds. Aside from being careless and stupid that one time, I always make sure I have leftovers at the end of each month. I guess I'm like you all.
So I have them to stare at....3 types of really helpful meds....but I can't/won't touch them as I need that relationship back with my Dr. as well as him drug-testing me.

I'm just not quite sure how to get through my days....every day is terrible.

I don't have a neuro right now. My GP told me that none at my hospital are interested in migraines/treatment. Fortunately for me, my GP is.

Thanks everyone,
Tea

I have hit similar dilemas like that not just with migs but a couple other med problems as well. All I can say from experience is don't give up and have a support circle that will help you fight. And that is exactly how I describe it, a fight! Several times I was so beaten down physically, emotionally and psychologically my wife just took over and started unwinding all the crap.

Migs and all the associated nightmares are just too big for one person to handle. The worst will always happen when you are at your weakest. We need someone to go to bat for us and let the docs know they will be dealing with more then one person. It's starts with bringing someone with you to every doc appointment. You introduce them as "part of my support team". That is what I started doing with my wife. Many things changed and it was for the better. And at rock bottom even little change can be very energizing.

On ENT nurse even said it was a great idea. Maybe is was her voice of experience.

Brent,

I just started bringing hubby to my Dr's appts and I have found it to be very helpful. When he is there to back me up the appts go smoother. In the ER and Drs office Im not treated like a drug seeker.

The ER always wants to give me Toradol. And many times I have great success with it. So much so that I have been prescribed it IM at home. It's the few times it doesn't work I end up in ER.

The time I didn't have hubby with me ( a friend drove me in) they just gave me more IV toradol. I think they didn't believe I already had it. The last time they brought up Toradol hubby quietly but firmly said "I've given her two shots of that in two days and it hasn't worked. What else can you do for her." Then they gave me phenegran and Dialudid to just knock me out.

I am working with a pain management Dr. For the first time. Thank you for sharing your experience. It makes me see how important it is for him to maintain his trust in me.

We are very similar. I have no success with ultram or the much stronger Oxy or pill form of Dilaudid. Hydro works best for me. I have no idea why that would be.

I have a wife that is a paramedic and crosses paths with an ER doc that works at Providence Hosp in Centralia WA. He is doing an independent study himself on migraine care in the ER setting (as in real bad attacks). He has been using Inapsine with great success and writes my wife prescriptions for it in IV injectable form. It's an anti-nausea med that seems to go beyond just that with most mig patients.

It's a neurleptic drug that stops erratic nerve impulses. These are what cause the abdominal muscles to violently contract, enough to produce vomiting. But it's also a "black box" drug that can have some bad side effects if the dose is to high.

He knows they quite often end up getting less then stellar care and wants to find better treatments. When the study is done he will publish it.

So having my wife start an IV on me and use the Inapsine has kept me out of the ER many times.

Toradol is just a mega strong version of Ibuprofen. I had it twice and I had about six hours of relief and then I was back in the same boat.

So maybe someday soon at least the good caring docs will start using it. The ones that want to peg us as drug seekers most likely won't bother to read his findings.

This doc is having a tough time to get the other ER docs in the same hospital to use it. That is just a small example of the idiocy and apathy we are up against.

And when my wife goes on a severe mig attack aid call she knows how to paint the picture over the radio to the docs to get orders to use it. Most of the counties in this state don't even allow paramedics to have it on the ambulances.