I absolutely hate that

Reading this piece, I was amused by the answers, until I came across point 5 in women poll.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8689010.stm

It made me so angry. I have had some friends in the past admitting that they use it when they do not want "attention" from their men. Or just to get out some uncomfortable situations. It makes me so cross, and when I was told about it I made a point to protest and try to explain why this is not on. People like this do so much harm, they have no idea.

It is even worse when people say:"I feel migraine coming" when they had never a single M in their life.

Why don't they think of some other silly excuse? Why it is always a "headache"?
Got it off my chest - it feels better.

Senna

A mere headache doesn't faze me.
headache is so common, hardly a living creature on earth went thru life without a single one.

But faking a M, especially when one has no clue as to what a real one feels like, yes, that doesn't go well with me either.

Risa

Funny thing is, people try to fake them at work. I've overheard telephone conversations of a coworker about how a third party is just "making it up". I have a good relationship with said coworker and she said there's someone in her unit that will periodically claim she has an M to get out of something.

The coworker told me, "I can tell you're not faking, it's written plain as day all over your face. When you don't come in we know you are at home dealing with it and there are times we want to tell you to go home because you look awful." She is well meaning so I know it's not said to be mean but that she wants me to take care of myself.

So if anything, I'm making others aware of what it truly can look like and then they can spot the fakers. Granted doing it when you don't want to do something is a dead give-away...duh.

Some people are much better at "reading" your face, then others.
But in my experience, most people cannot tell the difference anyway.

People who know me well, sometimes can recognise the signs - with me, it is not so much the way I look, but it is my voice specially on the phone.
My daughter can allwys tell on the phone: it is your head again - she would say.
Funny though, often she cannot tell, by looking alone. I am always quite pale anyway.

And since most of my life, I've tried to hide how I feel, as I am the only only one in a very healthy family with M and my brother often made fun of me, by calling me a weakling, I was often embarassed when I was not feeling well.

So, most of the time I say I am fine, even when I am not just As a result I became quite good at dimissing it even when I feel bad.

Maybe this is why people who pretend h/a, or M annoy me so much - if they only knew how lucky they are.

Also most people cannot tell the difference between M, and normal h/a, and say M to be dramatic, when they have a minor h/a. Which is just as bad.

Senna

Senna wrote:
And since most of my life, I've tried to hide how I feel, as I am the only only one in a very healthy family with M and my brother often made fun of me, by calling me a weakling, I was often embarassed when I was not feeling well.
...
So, most of the time I say I am fine, even when I am not just As a result I became quite good at dimissing it even when I feel bad.

First off, I do hide my emotions and pain from 'the world'. I can relate to Senna, because I am the only one in my family with M's and I currently am not surrounded by friends who take time out of their day to see how you are doing. But that is another post for another day.
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This reminded me of the day I was asking my teacher for advice. (She once told me if I was feeling down/had a M to come to her for a sort a 'pep talk' to help me through the day)

So I went to her and said "I need a pep talk" and she told me that we all have those days, she knows how I feel, and she (at the time) was going through the same thing/symptoms. She was having "one of those days". Really That is what she said.

I would not find it bad advice, but to me she does not know what I go through, she does not know what "one of those days" feel like. Because if she did, she wouldn't be there to give me a 'pep talk'. She would be a doctor or a home asleep or taking meds. Now, yes she does suffer from M's, but (not that I'm saying it's not as severer) she only takes excedrin? I think that's what it is called.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but does she really and I mean Really know the 'suffering' I go through?

Lillian

No, nobody knows your experience Lilian - your pain, your suffering is unique to you.
As we all know, M has dozens of "shades" of pain, it is never quite the same, even with the same person - so how can anyone know how we feel!

However, some people are unimaginative and think that their - often genuine - suffering means that it is the same for others. It never is. This is why it is just another cliche, which comforts no one.

On the other hand if that teacher sat you down, look you in the eyes and said:
" Please tell me exactly how you are feeling?"
And gave you her undivided attetnion for few minutes - this would mean she cared.
Instead, it was a total let down.
People often say things which they do not mean. Or, find difficult to deliver.

I think we all need to be careful with words, sometimes we say things that come out clumsy, even if we mean well.

Senna

Senna wrote:

I think we all need to be careful with words, sometimes we say things that come out clumsy, even if we mean well.

Senna

Pure Truth

Lillian said.

First off, I do hide my emotions and pain from 'the world'. I can relate to Senna, because I am the only one in my family with M's and I currently am not surrounded by friends who take time out of their day to see how you are doing. But that is another post for another day.

I can totally concur. I cant find anyone in my family who even gets headaches.
~They say things like. "I never get headaches, unless I have a cold or too much wine
I know what it must be like."

I have a friend who has crones disease. She doesn't get migraines, but she gets a lot of problems and is very understanding.
But still no one really to share one those times when you just need to....

It is a very lonely illness. I have Fibro as well, same difficulties.