A bit of a vent.

It's me venting again but I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this...

This is my third week on a new job and I called in today because my head is throbbing. The warning signs started on Friday and gradually increased until Sunday night when I had to zap myself with a shot of Imitrex. Woke up several times until the alarm went off and I had to hit the Imitrex again. Needless to say I was in no shape to drive let alone focus on work, especially with Norco in me.

I just wish my wife would understand how bad these things can be, and what they are like. You would think Satan entered the house it got so "cold". I understand there is an element of fear with jobs so hard to find, but I have no control over these things.

I wondering if I made a grave mistake taking this job instead of going through Physical Therapy. I'm also wondering if I can handle a job right now. She's not the only one who is worried.

But I need an advocate not an adversary!

Dan,
I don't want to defend your wife but I think that she's probably reacting istinctively without filtering any emotions. She's not doing the best thing for you, I know, but maybe she can't avoid it right now. Let her calm down and she'll probably see the situation differently.

I don't think that she's doing the right thing to you, to your marriage, to your family. However, I can understand that worries and stress can sometimes make people react with the wrong attitude.

Talking about it without arguing and without mutual accuses is probably the best thing to do.

Let the situation boil down and then discuss and take decisions together.

Take care, you don't need any other stress right now

Hugs

Dan,

I have no words of wisdom...I just hope things settle down so you can go back to work tomorrow. I can only imagine the stress...

I do agree with Ivy, you probably both need to sit down and have an open discussion about things. Relationships are such complicated things and fear and frustration makes us do things that aren't terribly kind. I don't know where you are at mentally - I know I have to write everything out. My head doesn't function well enough to have an in-depth conversation where I have to think and come to a rational conclusion in 30 seconds or less. I would start writing out the issues as you see them along with possible solutions (if any) and then discuss that much with her. You've done the thinking and can explain rather than trying to have an on the spot conversation as M do odd things to the thought process.

Just my thoughts and I hope you start to feel better later on today.

Becky

Dan,

I understand exactly how you feel. My husband is a great guy but he is really good at beating me down during a migraine, too. It is the worst feeling in the world.

He has seen my entire right side of my face droop. He's carried me because I've gone completely blind and fallen to the floor. He's seen me stumble to the kitchen to get myself icebags and walk around the house with sunglasses on even though there aren't any lights on.

What's the deal? When you watch someone cry, shake and whimper the entire night instead of sleep why would you think they choose to call in sick or not clean the house or take on responsibility?

I swear if I didn't have these stupid migraines I'd have a near perfect marriage (maybe). I really need someone to help me get better not help me get worse. They never do get it that the more yelling and stress that goes on these shoulders, the more migraines we get and the less cleaning and working we can actually do! Oiii... what a cycle!

Oh, Dan.... we've been through this too many times with our respective spouses. Can I just tell you what's going on at my house right now? Maybe it will make you chuckle. Roy is down for the count with a kidney stone. He gets them every so often & they take the wind right out of him. Of course, his pain is worse than any migraine pain I could ever feel he says. Even though he stays home from work for three days, he still wants to go out to dinner. Um... no, that's not like my pain. I want to be in bed & stay in bed. No work, no dinner, no tv, no nothing. Maybe a little bit of cuddling from the dog, if he's quiet.

My mom said that I should keep the pain killers away from him like he's done to me so many times! I seriously at that one! The doc gave him VICODIN and he had a panic attack on it. I offered that we could swap his vicodin for my Fioricet since my meds don't do anything for me.

Wishing you a speedy recovery from this current M. And a speedy heat wave to enter your home.

Rachel, Ouch! Kidney stones really do hurt!!! I have had them and do get chronic migraines too. I guess it depends on the size of the stone because each one is different but eepaaaaas! I know when my husband gets headaches he always says "Ohhh I have a migraine" and I blow that off because its BS and so are a lot of his other pains but beware because KS's are sometimes no joke.

I'd take a migraine over a kidney stone, but I wouldn't take a kidney stone over daily migraines. JMO. Hope everything settles in your house soon though and hope hubs does trade the meds and you both get some relief! BTW...I still think it is unfair of your husband to hold your medication from you so yeah, I would do the same to him!

Lovegia - there's been an update with my pain medicine... I am allowed to have it! I'm sorry, I haven't been online as much because I'm trying to work & I still have these daily headaches, so when I come home, I crash. But since I've been working, I've been allowed to handle my own medicine! It's been great! I still try to make it last a week, but if it doesn't, I don't fret much, because there's another bottle right in my nightstand. I still have FIVE bottles left & THREE at the pharmacy!

And I do have all the sympathy in the world for my hubby. I'm sure it's painful. But I don't know how he's able to go out & about in as much pain as he says he's in.

Me either! When I had kidney stone, I was crying and crawling in bed and I actually vomitted from the pain. It was really intense. A lot like labor. I didn't have any pain medication to take though, my mom didn't know what it was and didn't take me to the hospital until I vomited and the stone was almost passed already. Ahh men..I don't get it.

Glad you have been able to get your meds, that makes me happy! Last night was the first night stadol DIDN'T work for me! Hope you have better luck now that you are able to use it when you need it.

Dan,

She is upset/sad/dissapointed/scared ABOUT the situation not AT you. Consciously, she knows that you did not choose this to happen and you are not be blame. That does not mean that the factors involved are not troubling and she isn't feeling that.

I, of course, am being a rational advice givver right now, but know very well that no matter what I am saying right now that in those moments it feels very much like you are to blame and people are upset with you. She may even react AT you.

But YOU know ....and WE know....you did not choose this...the very fact that you have that darn job right now is bc you put your family before your own health.

Rest and care for yourself.

Things will work out.