Complete Vent...

So incredibly frustrated. Good thing we don't have buses here and it's not snowing - way too tempting to lay out in the middle of the street (am totally miserable). I've been on Depakote 3 days and have double vision - a lot of the time I can barely see anything. Still on nortriptyline (25 mg) and trying to get off of it. Just talked with his nurse and she checked with him. Obviously stop the new one and decrease the other as he thinks it's an interaction. Whatever, but in a week he wants me to bring this new one back on while still on the nortriptyline. Is he brain-damaged? If he already suspects that it's an interaction why in the hell would you not take someone off one before restarting the new one?

I'm getting to the point where I will just go back to what I had before seeing him. I have missed more work and had more horrible days than I did before trying preventatives. I'm not going back to see him until May so I could test out this theory. Stop the one now, stop the other in another week (can't cold turkey it from what I've been told) and then give it some time and monitor how bad things are. Start depakote back up in April and see what happens. My system should have had a good flush out by that point. I'm just tired of this and am starting to get a case of the crazies. I know some of this is just an effect of dealing with this all the time, but I'm going through phases where I want to sever all ties and just go die somewhere. It's not really what I want but I'm so tired and I just want to feel better. So far, all this has done is made me feel worse. Before, I could still enjoy physical activity most days - now it's few and far between...feels like I'm being robbed by the meds.

Feeling some better, just so frustrated and no one in my life really understands. Thanks for listening.

It is very frustrating. The problem is that a lot of drs don`t know which end is up most of the time.I had a neuro that I use to see and everytime I went in I had lost weight. She never thought anything of it but the nurse was getting concerned. I was getting concerned.I was down to 85lbs. I was on Topamax which she gave all of her m patients.

Of course she blamed me for the weight loss. I finally stopped seeing her and stopped Topamax. I started to gain my weight back again. Stupid Drs...

Most of the time he seems with it but it's like he didn't even look at the record. The whole reason to get off the nortriptyline is because my resting pulse rate is now 100. No wonder I'm miserable (it was 64 when we started). I used to be able to walk my dogs for 45 minutes and just had to watch how fast we went (high pulse = bad pain) now I'm lucky if I can get out period. My poor dogs - starting to go batty.

I also asked about coffee when I started (I only have 2 cups a day and no other forms of caffeine). I took my cup with me to my last appointment and he flipped out. When I reminded him, he okayed it and it's only 2 cups. His response "well I didn't think you'd have both of them at once." WTF! Usually I have it to help me get started in the morning, and due to the meds it's almost a necessity. It's not like I'm drinking an entire pot.

Some days, I think he's been taking the samples...

I understand. That is why I quit preventatives. Kate - Topamax did the same to me and that was the top of the iceberg that made me not want to try anything. Not only did I lose weight (which isn't good in my case--weigh only a hundred pounds to begin with), it made me feel like a totally different person. After 2 weeks of no migraine (which might have made it worthwhile), I got one that was the worst I had ever had (scary bad). Quit cold turkey and threw them down the drain. My doctor not once told me I would lose weight or travel to lalal land. I know this drug works for some people but he must have known the down side effects and didn't say a word. There is so much bad stuff out there about taking pain killers but some of the preventatives like Topamax are a lot more dangerous than pain killers for some people.