Mad enough to spit nails...more family drama - oye vey (a vent)

Just mad enough to explode....

After having 8 really good days, I think I'm in for an M. Not feeling so hot and the stress might kill me.

I had to stop at my moms to pick up my iron - her's died and I loaned her mine for a short period (this is before the blow up last week). She knew this was happening - we've had very surface level emails the last few days. She came home after I pulled in the driveway - can you say frigid (she's obviously still ticked) and I haven't gotten around to writing the letter yet...it's on my to do list. And she had to poke her nose into my meds...yes I know - I need to deal with this and it's completely apparent.

Anyway as uncomfortable as that was my brother (who appears to be living there permanently now) - oh by the way, you used 700+ minutes of the family cell plan last month and owe $65. Um...excuse me. I used way more than I normally do and don't dispute that. However, I've been paying more than my share for the last 2 years...but that doesn't count obviously. Oh and the trip I took last month up to take him to the dentist...yeah took a full tank of gas and he's never offered to repay me for that either (and not like I had the extra money for that either). He does take advantage of my mother like this all the time but that's between her and him.

Just ready to say forget it - I don't have family. I'm so tired of this crap all the time. I do intend to fork over some dough for the cell phone bill but not the full $65. I'm thinking $40 is not unreasonable for it...that way I get my gas taken care of. He and my mother can fight it out the rest of the way. I'm also planning on getting my own cell plan once the contract is up...although perhaps I should check into seeing if I can go out on my own if I stay with the same company....

Anyway - just mad and hurt by all this and now need to make my turd cookies. Long story...but good. Thanks for just listening. Now where are the meds....

Must know!!! What are turd cookies. Over here that would not mean something nice - AT ALL!!!

It's cookies that look like dog or cat poo. I have a recipe - you can do either chocolate or ginger and then add in all sorts of extras to make it look gross. Here's where I found the recipe...turd cookies

It's in honor of someone who at the last flyball tournament grabbed a turd my dog dropped so we wouldn't lose a heat automatically. I thought it rather appropriate.

That's what it means over here too!! What made you get a blue heeler? I though they were a very Aussie dog. My girl is a Belgian/German shephard cross, way too smart for her own good. She is getting old now though and doesn't get up to the mischief like she used too.

What made me get a blue heeler....well my dad was a breeder back in the 70's (he lived in a place where having good working cattle dogs was a necessity) and my first babysitter was a blue female. We had heelers growing up and I just love them. I have 2 blue females (I'm rather partial to the blues) and they are way too smart for their own good. My younger girl is really my girl and the one I do flyball with. She's in the photo.

Yes I would say they are probably more an Aussie thing but in the southern/western US they are very common. Up here in the north, they aren't as common but we're starting to see more of them. I often get asked what kind of dogs they are as people haven't seen them before.

Buy yourself a new iron. ;-)

£eslie

You know...I probably just should have. They aren't that expensive and my brother got upset "make sure it's not mine - don't take it if it's mine". Oh for pete's sake....

Oye....anyone wanna trade families?

It's always greener!

My family is atrocious about some things, I think most families have flaws. Some people are lucky to have families with minor flaws that are easily handled. Your family sounds a lot like mine though, so would I want to trade? Probably not. LOL Nobody would benefit, although we'd get a change of scenery so your call I guess

Oh I know....

I guess things have always been this way and I was just able to ignore it better or let more of it go. I guess everyone has their breaking point and it seems I have finally reached mine. I really shouldn't be surprised though...this stuff is just the tip of the iceberg when you look at the extended family This is actually pretty mild - most of my aunts and uncles refuse to be in the same room with each other and it's affected some of the children...but then there's my dad's side. While I may not have spoken to him in 6 years, most of the aunts and uncles I had a relationship to begin with (a few was geographical issues) that still remains and I'm closer in some ways to that side even though they are 18 hours away by car and their relationship with my dad is like his and mine so at least I'm not alone there.

Aren't families fun....

Yeah they are. I don't even speak to one of my sisters, none of us girls talk to her. Only my brother, very superficially, and my mother speak to her. She has alienated all the rest of us. She's just mean and we are sure has Borderline Personality Disorder but won't get any help. My son even specfically asked that she not be invited to his wedding. I haven't talked to anyone on my Dad's side since his funeral 26 years ago. They are not people that I want around me or my kids.

Sometimes you just have to let the people who are not good for you go. It isn't worth the aggravation or stress that it adds to your life. If occasional cards are enough to keep a tie, then do that, but let go of all the drama.

You need a (((Hug))).
Alli

Thanks Alli.

I did need that. I guess we'll take things one day at a time. And as Richard said - pretend they aren't there and rely on them for nothing (and he had a point). Just rather sad...guess I'll reach out to those extended family members that are closer and count them as my family and just leave everything else go. I've got bigger fish to fry...well or cookies to bake.

Alli made a good point--set up your boundaries to keep yourself happy and sane.

There are a lot of blue heelers in Montana and Wyoming. They're excellent ranch dogs working with cattle and sheep. Very intelligent and eager to please.

I had a heeler/cocker spaniel cross a few years ago that was my soul mate. She was incredibly intuitive and intelligent.

Becky

tecky wrote:There are a lot of blue heelers in Montana and Wyoming. They're excellent ranch dogs working with cattle and sheep. Very intelligent and eager to please.

I had a heeler/cocker spaniel cross a few years ago that was my soul mate. She was incredibly intuitive and intelligent.

Becky

Oh they are excellent working dogs...my dad is from southern Colorado and they are a necessity for working with cattle. Intelligent...absolutely - too darn smart for their own good (really need a job that challenges them). Eager to please...well in my experience, no - border collies are more in this category. They pick their person and will do what you want...well on their own terms. I taught my younger one something, she picked up on it, then insisted on doing it her own way for several months...eventually she came back around. I wouldn't trade them in for the world...they really do enjoy being with you and live for you.

Howdy

What did YOU do or not do to set up this confrontation?

What can YOU and YOU ALONE do to fix it so these confrontations do not re-occur?

Please do NOT answer me ... just two questions for you to ponder on your own.

Where were your meds that she was poking around? Thats such an intrusion! My mom would never go poking around in my stuff!!! Not since I was like 16, anyway!!

You need to create boundaries that send a clear message to your mothe AND your brother that you are an independant adult and deserve respect and space. Your mom seems to have some boundary issues. Your brother seems to feed right in to it. BUt you are not. Which is GOOD. I think that once you demand some respect and space, they will see that you are not up for the way they are trying to handle things.

Good luck. Family Stress is the worst!! Hope your head is not feeling the effects too bad!!