What IS Our Life

This is going to sound REAL wrong. Just WRONG! But it is true for me none the less.

My beloved Steve always worried over me and got very depressed over our conditions.

One thing I love about my Thom is that he is learning to ENJOY my episodes! That sounds flat out wrong, doesn't it. But when I am episoding I often speak nonsense.

The other night I was discussing a 70 drawer chest with a gold candlabra on top. Just nonsense. Steve would have gotten depressed over it. Thom, instead, got into the moment and discussed the chest of drawers at some length. He laughed and enjoyed the nonsense. I don't remember a lot of it - but Thom filled me in.

I LIKE that he accepted my episode for what it was and instead of getting depressed that I was not well, he actually enjoyed relating to the crazy Richard. I really like that about him.

Isn't that just plain old WRONG! LOL

Thom and I visited teh Cherokee Cemetary yesterday dusk to let the dogs run somewhere new. It is fenced in, safe, and a great dog park. Try it at your home with your dogs.

Anyway, we both enjoyed the old head stones. Now you Europeans know OLD headstones. In the USA, an 1800's headstone, in California, is REAL old! LOL anyway, the stones always gave a date of birth and death, often a "husband, wife, mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son" designation - and many listed the origin of the person - several Scots, English, Irish, Germans, and USA Southerners are buried there.

What struck us, is that until the 1950's, the most comman age of death for men was in their 40's. Many women obviously died in child birth in their early 20's. Other women died in their 40's with their men. And many children died - lots of kids from infants to 10 or so.

It made me realize again how fortunate I am to be alive now. My maternal grandmother lived to 105. My father to 86. A person dying in their 40's or 50's today is a tragedy. Not so for most of history. I know 40 was the standard for old man ready to die in Elizabethan England. Also in my area in the 1800's AND in the early 20th century.

Again, I feel VERY fortunate to be going strong at 58 - migraines and all. right now is just fine for me. Hope your right now is good too.

Thanks Becky, Richard.

I was only half joking, of course.

Richard I suspect you are in love right now so everything looks rosy at the moment, even c*ap

Seriously, here's my take on this: nothing's compares to being healthy. Nothing.
Our life that consist mostly of being in pain and at scrutiny of other is miserable, but of course that doesn't mean we should be reduced to whining and moaning and dwelling on it, in this aspect Richard you are absolutely right.
It doesn't help to be pessimistic - on the contrary, scientific studies show depressed, pessimistic person takes longer to recover from an illness and so on.

So yes, we need to maintain positive attitude. But, I wouldn't go that far as to claim I cherish my life.

I can barely tolerate it right now

Risa

Having a VERY bad day today, and Lordy, guys, I do appreciate your sentiment, but I'm throwing my towel in with Risa.

I'll check back on this post in a couple days, I'm sure my mood will have changed (HOPEFULLY!)

Charlotte

Richard, Thanks so much for posting that particular thought. I really needed to hear it right now.

I am 29 and myb life is certainly not as i ever thought it woul.d be. The migraines are bad and tha fainting spells make it very hard to do things, even things that I love doing-like going for long walks, driving, etc. However, I know that I am lucky to have a supportive family, a wonderful roommate, and a very good and sweet boyfriend, as well as the friendship of everyone here. It helps to know that I am not alone in this. People sometimes tell me I am strong, or that I am lucky to be optimistic (I don't know what else to do.l) But the truth is that fighting this requires strength, as doesn deternmining how to live with it, so thanks again for the idea to keep going and hopefully to do it relatively well.

Pain free days,
sailingm

Hope you feel better Charlotte! I know what you mean, the last few days have been hell on earth for me - part of it is meds but there must be something else going on. Don't know if you read my vent this morning, but if I lived in a community with a bus system - I'd not be sitting here. Still not feeling the best...should go take a couple neurontin so my head doesn't explode and the pick doesn't go completely through my brain - well what's left of it anyway.

It is funny how your perspective can change in a matter of hours. This morning, it was like, someone please shoot me. If one of my dogs was in this much pain I'd euthanize it - much more humane. I thought about telling my boyfriend to find someone else (love him dearly but I don't want him to watch me go through this). Just wanted to plain old give up. Made it a few more hours and felt better (things must have settled a bit) and at my thoughts this morning as the craziness it truly was. Utter insanity but seems like when the pain gets overwhelming this spills out. There are days life is crap - no doubt about it and not just due to illness.

Hope the cloud lifts soon for my fellow sufferers.

Hi Richard,
Gringa here, I changed my username.
Any past or future time is just a construct humans use for convenience, the only thing that is real is the now.
Joni Mitchell said, "Something's lost, but something's gained, in living everyday". In 'living". If we were not alive everything would be unchanging and static(I think!).
Cheers

Totally agree Richard!

I know I had to go through a true grieving process over the 'lost me' when I lost jobs etc etc and my life changed. But out of the other side I now have acceptance and a whole new (and I think improved!) me. I'm more understanding, compasionate and my priorities are different and more meaningful. And somehow I'm much happier now. Finding my Mr Right (he was there all along) has helped too, but it's a bonus and not the reason for thinking this way.

I choose to live in the present. It's a mindfull apprach to life - taking note of all the things I'm thankful for, doing what I can to help myself and others, and choosing not to worry and fret away this precious life. I don't know what happens when I go and I'm certainly not religious, but I do believe in making the most of the here and now.

And I also believe that choosing to see things this way makes me feel better in terms of migraine symptoms. I can stay in and dwell on it or go out and see a friend. I'll be in pain either way so I may as well distract myself from it and nurture my mental health.

Distraction is the very best tool I have for living with this. Along with planning ahead for big events by resting before hand and giving myself recovery time afterwards, meditation and Chi Gung for gentle exercise of the mind and body, my affectionate dog for cuddles and will power of iron to keep trying things that might help in the face of so much that hasn't (because I haven't given up my dream of getting back to work someday).

Wise words

Amy

PS very glad your test result was good news and you are enjoying your new relationship. Love is great!