sad love update

well the whirlwind romance is over.
mike is getting transferred to jacksonville FL.
such a bummer

ohhhhh

I'm soo sorry Beth!! Hope you're doing ok. Heartbreak is tough! Hang in there! Who knows maybe you guys could try long distance for awhile???

You will be ok! Let us know if you need a shoulder to cry on! We're here for you!

Oh no

May I ask why is he being transferred - it's his job? and it's the nature of his job to be transferred often?
I am so sorry sweetie. I don't know what to say.

Risa

I am so sorry Beth.

Have you thought of maybe moving down to Jax? It is quite nice down there and I think you would really like it. I am not sure of your situation in KY but I personally loved Florida when I lived there. My Step daughter lives there and the beach is wonderful!

Keep up your relationship and go down and visit some. Then make a decision. Remember the move would be for you and not for the relationship because if it does not work out, staying in Jax could be the best move you could make.

Just a thought. Like I said I do not know your situation as far as family, job, friends, etc....

Just keep the door open to visit and then make your choice.

thinking of you...

kimsmom

I am so sad for you. I like the idea of keeping the door open. I love the weather in FL. But, if it really is over, at least you know that the good ones really do exist! It sure sounded like fun! I hope that you aren't hurting too badly.

M

I am 58 years old and 100% disabled. I am a widower with a grown daughter. I tell you Beth what I tell my daughter, my neices, my nephews, my friends. The Number One BEST thing in life is a committed, long term relationship with the man of your dreams. I had it with Steve; I am getting there with Thom.

When I met Steve, he lived in Los Angeles and I lived in Fairbanks Alaska. We made it work with email, telphone, lots of visits until after one year, we married and he moved to Alaska for a year. My Thom was in Jupiter Florida when we met online (same way I met Steve). We instantly connected and I invited him for a week's vacation. After 5 days, we tore up the return ticket and he stayed. I am growing to love him more each day ... he is REALLY not a thing like Steve but is a very good man who takes good of me when I am ill so I can take care of him when I am well. It is working. I predict an engagement ring on his hand before the year is out. BUT if it does not work out ... how wonderful to know my heart can love again - Thom has given me that gift for which I will always be grateful.

No job, no set of friends, even living near family is NOT as important as marriage. Marriage and dating with an eye to marriage, is the most important thing anyone can do with their life ... gay or straight, male or female. Par none, marriage trumps in personal satisfaction and ongoing happiness and security even the BEST job, the nicest friends, and the most loving family members.

Please consider a move to Florida. What is the WORSE thing that could happen? Can you live with that? I am betting the answer is "yes, I can live with the fact that it may not work out and I am then in Florida on my own - with an option to move anywhere." Of course you know the VERY best thing that can happen. Is it worth the gamble? How many other men have you met in the last 5 years, the past 1 year, with whom you are as compatible was with this man?

You have a tough choice to make. Ask yourself this: "When I am 80 years old and looking back what will I regret MORE: moving with him to Florida or NOT moving to Florida and losing him? " What will you regret more when you are 80?

When I was 30, I moved on a whim from South Carolina to Fairbanks Alaska where my in-laws lived. No job, no car, no home ... BEST decision of my life ... a GREAT place to raise my daughter. In 1999, Steve wanted to leave Alaska's winters. I talked my boss into moving me into my very first scary city - San Francisco. BEST decision of my recent life. In 2003, Steve and I were disabled and could not afford City rent. He decided he wanted land, a mini-farm (and I am really a city boy). but I loved him so much that I agreed. GREAT decision! How much I have come to love these few acres ... sometimes I think I am Scarlett and Ravenhurst is Tara! LOL

So Beth, you have a choice. What shall you do? Of course, I will support the decision you make as the very best decision possible. You are a bright and talented woman - you WILL do what is best for you and all concerned - whichever way you decide.

I'm sorry, Beth.....

Don't give up...Richard makes some good points. You never know unless you try, and regrets aren't pleasant.

Take good care.

Becky

Richard,
As always your advice is wonderful!!!
I copied your message and emailed it to Mike.
He has not invited me to Jacksonville yet, but in my head i have formulated a plan that would allow me to go. Just in case.....
And you are right, I know that I would forever regret it if he moved to florida and we didn't try.
So essentially the ball is in his court.

Risa, the reason he is being sent to florida is because he got a promotion to a management position, if he didn't take it, he could possibly lose his job in a year. SO he really had no choice