Bad bad week!

Well, I've learned two major lessons this week:

1) Doesnt matter how hard you've work for your employer for 10 YEARS, how dedicated you are, in the end you still get screwed

2) DO NOT EVER go on disability because once again in the end you get screwed!

3) Always look after number one.

My bad bout of migraine started in November. I tried really hard for November and January to work full-time but I couldnt handle it. So in February and March I went on short term disability. The first week of April I had clearance from my doctor to start going back to work on modified hours, gradually increasing my hours/days until I could go back to full-time. Right now I am working 3 days a week from 10 until 4:30 and half days the remaining two.

They hired a temp to fill in for me when I was gone (I do clerical work) and until I come back full time. Well, on Friday my boss tells me that the temp will now be doing my job full time and I will be moved to another position as of Monday (same wage but lower in stature). Apparently her skills are better than mine he said. However I have never been offered a chance to upgrade mine because I've been too busy. A lot of what I did was given to other employees when I fell sick. This temp walks in, does a quarter of my job and is now a superstar. They arent comparing apples to apples - I even told them so. I was SO upset! There is nothing I can do about it. I cried all night last night and have been very upset today.

I also had a funeral to attend today of a close family friend AND my period is coming. Between the stress and the monthly, a migraine hit me big time today AND I got my first scotoma since March! I just can't believe this is happening to me. Obviously stress is the biggest trigger in my life but to avoid another relapse, how do I cope with this new job stress?

I am not a happy camper!! Sorry to rant but I just can't believe that this is happening to me. 10 years with NO issues at all with my job, I'm well liked at work, employee record is clean. I just dont get it. I should have just stayed on disability, milked it for what it was worth and not bothered even trying to come in part-time. So much for trying to show dedication and effort.

Wow Tam, I don't think weeks get any worse than that =( *hugs* With all that going on and your period and a new job to start...you have a big job ahead of you to get your head around the new situation. What my mother always says to me - and it's glib but it's true is: Give me the serenity to accept what I cannot change and the courage to change what I can. Only you know which side of that statement you want to go with - but with stress as a trigger, I'd be aiming for serenity myself.

I am very sorry to hear you've been moved aside by your boss. I don't know what the employment laws are like over there, but over here it would not be legal for a boss to move an employee on the basis of disability. They would have to make it a performance issue for the 'paperwork'. Perhaps it's the absence from that role that your boss no longer wants to deal with (which is something we are all terrified of so I totally feel for you there) and he has just covered it up by pretending it's about performance. Whatever it is, it must be horrible for you to have to go through.

Can I recommend a lovely warm bath (it's winter here - maybe that would not make sense if it's summer where you are??) or just something that you know relaxes you. I think you're gonna have to try and pull out all the big guns to keep your stress levels managed over the next couple of weeks so you don't get stuck with a bunch of horrible heads.

((hugs)) Hope you have someone there to give you a hug, or at least someone to call for support. Thinking of you.

xxx

good luck for next week in the new post, hers hoping it starts getting better from now on.

hugs and best wishes.

Di

I am so sorry that this is happening to you...........the impact of our migraines is far-reaching and I hate that. Stress is certainly a big trigger for a lot of us and it is hard to control that when it comes from the outside world! When do you start your new position? Do you have a friend at work you can vent to - venting always helps me cope with things beyond my control. And certainly please continue to vent here! I am so heart-broken for you - I know how hard you have tried to get back to a normal schedule at work.......Hugs my friend. Leslie

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Yes, I do have two great friends at my workplace who I have vented to. They are absolutely livid! My boss did say that he thinks the new position would be better for me in the long run - less stress and away from this other boss who constantly picks at everything and everyone (the new job is in a different building). How he figures that taking away my old job that I love, away from all my friends and co-workers and putting me somewhere where I hardly know anyone and having to learn new stuff is "better for me" is beyond me. The ironic part of this is his daughter suffers from chronic migraine which I thought would make him more understanding. Apparently not. He likes the new girl better and is just looking for the easy way out. Plain and simple. If her and I were compared apples to apples I would bow down gracefully but it wasnt the case at all.

So.....after much soul searching, I have decided to take the high road, be the better person. If this is what he/they want then so be it. I will start this new position, smile, be gracious and continue working the hours that I feel are best for me and my health at this point. If it continues for say the next 6 months, I can't come back full-time and need to stay on disability longer, oh well!! Not to toot my own horn or anything but I am well-liked by my peers and co-workers. Once they see me gone and my workspace filled with HER, the fallout wont be good. My boss and his superiors will look like the A-holes. This temp lady is NOT well-liked by many (I've been told this time and time again by others since my return) and apparently she left her last job due to a conflict with a coworker. She also told me at one point that she went on stress leave just before she left her last job. SO....we'll see how long she lasts. It may only be a matter of time. I refuse to quit in any event. If they want me gone, they can pay me out with a severance package. I'm not leaving of my own free will without some sort of compensation after 10 years of dedicated service.

I still didnt sleep last night at all. I have another headache this morning. I can feel the stress building in my neck and back. I am trying everything to put it out of my mind but it's SO hard. I still can't believe that I am being shoved under the bus like this.

Your on the right path. Get out of the same office building while "she" is there.

Worked with one of these "wonder woman" once myself. I was her senior and told her off for gossiping and stirring up trouble. At the time co-workers thought I was the grouch, but ran into one of the coworkers years later and she apologised. I had left to go off to bigger and better and wonder woman went out of control. She only lasted another two months before the whole office exploded and it was all traced back to her.

So Rule no 1, 2, 3, 4 and five - stay out of it.

Let her put the noose around her own neck - if she is a hag it won't take long. If she's in fact as effecient and as nice as your boss thinks, then take it on the chin and ask for equivalent training. A wake up call that our own skills are not keeping pace is actually a pretty good thing to happen!!

I had been asking for training on the skills she has for a few years now but it never happened - I was always given too much responsibility and work and could never take the time away to do the training. I even explained this to my boss which again got no response.

I did have another lightbulb moment today though. To be honest, I have never really liked my vocation (administrative/clerical work). I stuck with it because it was convenient for raising my family and for my husband to pursue starting his own company. Well, my daughter just graduated high school and will be starting university in the fall, my son has been moved out for 2 years now. I have always had a passion for travel and the hotel/tourism industry but the hours were never convenient. Travel agents make next to nothing now because people book their own stuff now online. However, there is one five star hotel chain that I've always admired and when I've been fortunate enough to stay at one of their properties I've always thought gee, I'd love to work in a place like this. I have a couple of years experience in hotel reservations and front desk operations but that was years ago.

SO....I am going to seriously consider pursuing a job there once I am feeling more confident that my headaches are under control. I will bide my time at my job, do what they want, work where they want me to and just bite my tongue (unless I get fired before then - lol!). I am going to arrange to talk to the manager of our local hotel eventually and see if they would consider me to work a day or two a week to get my feet wet and see if it's REALLY what I want. I have been looking after my family for 23 years now, I think it's MY time to do what I want to do.

Thank you so much for all your support and kind words. It's really helped me get through the weekend!! My anxiety level is down dramatically!

What a wonderful idea! Sounds great - I always wanted to work in the hotel/travel industry........you are taking back control - fantastic!

Well, I moved into my new "office" today. I can't tell you how humiliated I felt doing the "walk of shame" even though I really had nothing to feel bad about. Amazing how 10 years of your worklife can fit into one small box.

I'm really sad today and very frustrated. Of course migraine hit big time this afternoon while I was trying to settle into my new workspace. Dizziness is bad and so is the anxiety. I thought I had conquered this yesterday but when reality set in, so did the migraine AGAIN.

Apparently I would have been beter off staying on short term disability and letting it roll into long term disability than making an effort trying to come in part-time and gradually work my way into full-time and off the disability completely. Makes absolutely no sense to me at all. See what happens when you try to do the right thing? You get screwed.

Tamsha, glad you are looking at the positive side. We often make sacrifices for our families, and forget to take care of ourselves. This may be a blessing in disguise and get you to look into gaining new skills and moving into a line of work you will enjoy more. Coincidentally, a good friend of mine started working as a travel agent a few years ago (in her late 40's) after the company she worked for closed down. She really enjoys it. Look for one that specializes in cruises as they are still doing fairly well.

Great suggestion Migraine Girl! I have never been on a cruise (on my "to do" list) so perhaps I'll have to check that out further as well (the cruise too -lol). I actually had a pretty decent sleep last night but I can feel the migraine symptoms creeping up on me this morning - the anxiety anyway. I went on my treadmill last night for 30 minutes hoping it would help - maybe it did with the sleep, I dont know.

I am going to see a therapist tomorrow. I saw her once in February when my migraine pain was at its worst. I didnt find that she really helped much so I didnt go back. Now my problems arent with the migraines so much (I am learning to deal with them best I can - accepting that its chronic) but more so my personal problems ie. work and my son (that's another story). I have great friends that I use as sounding boards and of course everyone here as well but maybe a professional will shed a new light on things for me. Can't hurt anyway.