Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Hello,

I am new and I have a question. I don't suffer from migraines, but I live with somone who does. I need to know if some of her behavior is normal?

She has auras and sensitiveity to light and sound. i get all of that.

What i don't get is the complete and radical personality change she undergoes when she has a migraine. She slurs her words, stumbles when she walk, is really mean and agitated, walks into things, provokes fights and says the awfulest things. It is horrible.

I know other peole who suffer from migraines and they don't experience this. this personality change goes on for days.

Is this normal?

thanks in advance.

I'd have to say yes, but please keep in mind I'm no doctor and I have not seen the situation
at hand.

Slurring your words, bumping into things and stumbling especially when having aura is common.
I get vertigo when I have a bad migraine, which makes me bump into EVERYTHING. Occasionally,
when things get really bad for whatever reason I also slur my words. I never knew until my husband
pointed it out to me.

When I'm in that much pain and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it I turn into a complete
b*tch sometimes. I try not to expecially since I've found this place to vent and release a lot of
energy. Maybe you should let your friend know about this forum..it could be an excellent place for
her to go.

Do you know how some women get really mad during labor at their husbands? Well, it's pretty
much the same idea. My god the pain in your head is so intense you don't care who your yelling
at or what you say, you just want the pain to stop, especially if she gets them frequently and
is fed up with dealing with it. She may feel extremely alone, isolated in her pain, and angry
that it happens to her.

Like I said, it may not be anything like what i'm describing and it is a possibility she needs to see
a doctor. She should already be seeing a neurologist to get some medication to control the
migraines (it will definitely change her life, hopefully for the better).

Your a good friend to worry and question, I hope you get the answers you are looking for but
please, this is the internet..it is still a good idea to see a doctor. When it comes to personality
changes, we cannot be there when it happens and it is really advisable to seek medical care
if you are concerned.

Best of luck to you and your friend!

At one point about seven years ago, my slurring and stumbling made the Dr's think I had MS. I had a slew of tests to rule that out and other things too.

Also, constant chronic pain makes one a little cranky. I know I'm not the nicest person to be around when I'm hurting.

If your friend hasn't, it's important to have a medical profession evaluate to rule out other possibilities.

You're a good friend.

Charlotte

My husband would tell you that I'm not the easiest to be around when the migraines are bad (heck, even I don't like me then). I'd say it's very much a personality change and way beyond one's control. The changes in the brain during a migraine affect just about every bodily movement and function.

Please encourage your friend to see a doctor.

Hugs to you, because it's not easy seeing someone you care about go through migraines and all the changes they bring about.

Becky

Hi and welcome,

The auras, sensitivity to light and sound are normal. I also slur my words during a migraine; sometimes I forget the alphabet (I know that I need an "A" in a word, but can't pick it out.) I also occasionally have double vision-could explain walking into stuff. As to personality changes, that can be due to pain. My roommate says that I am hard to live with sometimes because of migraine.

Has she seen a neurologist for this? I hope she has some medication as well. The personality changes could also be from some medications- there are a few that my roommate hates because they can make me mean. If the personality changes are severe- you might want to talk to her about it when she doesn't have a migraine- that way she could be a little aware of it or at least bring it up when she sees her neurologist.

It sounds like you are a great roommate and a wonderful friend. Feel free to type anytime.


Pain free days,
sailingm

unfortunately, yes this is normal. I lose my balance, walk into walls, slur my words, forget words... and if the pain is really bad, I can be a real beyatch. I also get extremely, irrationally irritable BEFORE some migraine attacks. It is part of the prodome and a warning to myself that one is coming. It's happened enough times now, that I can catch myself and at least warn people that I'm being irrationally
beaytchy.

It's really hard to be around people when you are in that much pain. I usually take myself off into my room and hole up til I feel better and able to be around people without snapping their heads off.


Is she on a preventative or arbortive to help reduce attacks? If not, maybe suggest when she does NOT have a migraine to see a neurologist who specializes in migraines.

Alli

If I`m in the beginning of a good one coming on, I get very short and irritable. If I`ve had a really bad one for 2-4 weeks, then I blow my top. I can only be patient for so long.

I also slur my words, get double vision, have been tested for MS, and have weird mood swings pre-migraine. For a while I thought I was having some sort of anxiety attacks, then realized it was my migraine aura.

I've also had my share of tripping over curbs, and both down AND up stairs.

A good friend can tell when I have a migraine based on my behavior. It's kind of unnerving for me.

Oh, and most recently I was diagnosed with something called a confusional migraine, which when reading about them, it says that the aura can actually include being aggitated etc. So I think what you're describing is possible...

But like others have said, there are other causes for these symptoms, so it would be best to encourage your friend to see/find a neurologist.

Angel

At work the girls I am friends with refer to this as " uh-oh, is this headache Jessica today?"

and my husband, um he has lots of different terms for it, depending on how far I've pushed it! Lol

if you lived w these bad boys, that part of it actually makes the MOST sense.
It's a sort of hell. We have to blow off steam sometimes or we'll fry!!

When i first started getting the aura symptoms it felt like my brain wasn't making connections properly and the frustration of it made me really bad tempered as i stuggled for words like chair or cup, not complicated stuff. Some of it reminded me of the way my Gran got when she was really porly after something went wrong at the base of her brain a year before she died. i was too young to understand what had happened to her, but I remember the frightenning personality change.

For me this did get better when I discovered that the more I fought it, the worse it seemed to be. Somehow I learned to manage it more but it took a long time and a lot of patience from those around me.

You must be really caring to be doing so much research about this. Working together and feeling OK to discuss it when your friend is OK to think things through is half the battle. For me one of the worst things was that my husband and I were both trying to find answers, and my husband would ask questions as if because it was happening to me I should understand what was happening, but I didn't, which put me under a lot of stress.

I wish you all the best and if you have more questions please feel free to ask.

Di

I am known for being extremely polite and not swearing. I have shocked myself a few times at the things I have said at home fortunately and the anger at being trapped sometimes inside my body not able to get about even in the house. The worst being during some medications which changed me totally.

hope this helps

Di

Unfortunately it's true.
This is one of the worst complication of migraine. It affects personal life and makes relations more difficult, especially in the beginning.

Time will help.
The sufferer will help to recognize the attack and abort it quickly and will also learn to avoid fights and to postpone discussions and anything else to a better moment.
The people who live with sufferers, on their hand, will learn to take the tension caused by the disease for what it is and not as personal attacks.

It's good that you've understood that the personality change in a migraine sufferer is due to the illness, this will help you both. Believe me, migraine is awful and unfortunately people around often underevaluate the problem.

Bye

Yup, I'm no fun when a 6-10 or a thumper is hitting me. It's sort of like in the Exorcist when the girls face turns and reveals a demonic face.

Yeah, sort of like that...

dizzyflower wrote:When i first started getting the aura symptoms it felt like my brain wasn't making connections properly and the frustration of it made me really bad tempered as i stuggled for words like chair or cup, not complicated stuff. Some of it reminded me of the way my Gran got when she was really porly after something went wrong at the base of her brain a year before she died. i was too young to understand what had happened to her, but I remember the frightenning personality change.

For me this did get better when I discovered that the more I fought it, the worse it seemed to be. Somehow I learned to manage it more but it took a long time and a lot of patience from those around me.

You must be really caring to be doing so much research about this. Working together and feeling OK to discuss it when your friend is OK to think things through is half the battle. For me one of the worst things was that my husband and I were both trying to find answers, and my husband would ask questions as if because it was happening to me I should understand what was happening, but I didn't, which put me under a lot of stress.

I wish you all the best and if you have more questions please feel free to ask.

Di

Oh I know what you mean about the word thing!! Last night I told my three year old, "lets go, we need to get your potatoes on" as I stood in front of him holding his pajamas. It was irritating to me at first, but his reaction was soooo cute that we both giggled like kids over it for the entire remainder of bed-time.

Isn't it tragic that what is normal for a migraine is not normal for a completely healthy human? But such is what we deal with.

Chris

Maybe her physician can prescribe something to help with the moodiness. My husband described my behaviour to my neurologist and he prescribed something that helped chill me out. When my husband told me that my behaviour was getting out of hand, I made an extra effort to control myself. I hope you find something that helps.

Last night at my Board meeting when I was trying to read something out loud I started slurring. Of course this is the group that thinks I was hospitalized for drug addiction...aaarrggghhhhh.

I don't want to stop and explain that Board meeting days make a VERY long day for me and almost always ends up with a M.

I'm not sure anyone noticed but it made me plenty nervous.

Charlotte

The change in personality can be part of the prodrome that occurs before any real migraine symptoms.

My wife says she can tell when I have a migraine coming on because I have a special "personality" that comes on - I get irritable, yell and cuss, which i don't normally do.

In my case, once the migraine starts, yeah, I bump into things and act a little drunk. But I generally quiet down because I'm totally absorbed by the symptoms and it hurts too much to yell or anything.

Wow thank you so much every one!!!

I have been off line working with my friend on this. She had had these headaches for over 20 years but they are starting to change. That is part of the concern.

Every single reply here has been helpful, thank you. It is good to know that this is "normal" for her and that she is not .. I dunno, dying or having a stroke.

She will been seeking out a neurologist shortly.

To all of you who suffer, I want to hug everyone of you. I had a headache after I had an Epidural when I was pregnant and it was really bad, but cured with Advil, Caffene and bed rest. I think I would die if I went through wat migraine sufferers go through. Seriously.

Thank you again for your help!!!!!

A little late to the game, but I might as well add my experience as well.

What makes things tough for me is, my girlfriend is the type of person that when she's sick she likes some attention. So her reaction is to try to do that for others when they are sick. When I have a migraine all I want is complete isolation. The pain is too much, and I can't handle interacting with people too much. Especially answering any questions, which throws me badly because I just can't concentrate.

There is that combined with the fact that I just hate people seeing me in that condition. I have had to cancel so many plans in the past, and had migraines affect so many things in my life. All of it comes to the surface if I have to interact with people when I am in that much pain. Sometimes in anger, sometimes in tears. Again, I just need some isolation and time to heal when an attack happens.

So there is no doubt that I come across as moody (to put in lightly). I have just had to make sure when I am feeling ok to communicate with her and let her know why I 'act' the way I do when I have a severe headache.