How to explain what a Migraine is in simple terms?

I was floored!

My mother compared my migraines to my sister's 6 month battle with back pain and how she conquered it with accupuncture, excersize and chiropractures and how I shouldn't just sit around with drugs and I have to be more proactive like her. !!!!!!!!!WT@$* I of course said you are not seriously compairing her back pain to my migraines are you?! and she stumbled on in the same direction and I could see that she really didn't understand migraines at all. Her and my sister have been sitting around talking about all the times they have cured themselves and oh how useless I have been. My ride came and I left.

I'm not letting this rest. This is just too stupid. Does anyone know of any written exerpt which describes, in layman terms, what a migraine really is? You know, like, it's NOT A PULLED MUSCLE or a SLIPPED DISC, and no one knows what causes it and if they did, I WOULD BE THE FIRST IN LINE TO GET IT FIXED! \Seriously though, something that is not wordy and makes it clear that the person cannot help the situation for crying out loud.

I have to email her something because I will not take this conversation again. You don't berate a diabetic and accuse that person for eating too much sugar in their life, so you don't berate me for being born this way.

Thanks for letting me vent.

I think a good explanation would be to have her put a metal pot on her head and then to have someone beat on that pot with a hammer over and over and over for several days on end. And on top of that to have a bright searing light on inside the pot and noise played at about 100 dB. I think that would be a good description.

Oh, and add to that having people ask why it should be such a problem several times during the process and urging you to get on with normal life and be more fun.

I can't believe your mum said that to you. I don't wish this upon anyone but people who have not experienced migraines should really not comment on them at all. They have no idea what they are talking about. I'm sorry your going through this and dealing with such an ignorant person, family and all! My Nan often says I should just wake up and say "no more migraines" and get on with the day. I think people say this when they have no idea how to help. Doesn't make me any less angry to hear that though. For me, add in a severe dose of sea sickness (vertigo and nausea) to the mix and Migrainegirls explanation sums it up.

i am LOVING migrainegirls response...it's perfection!

i get some of 'have you been tested for allergies?' (yes, i have) or 'maybe you should take a walk' or ' go have lunch with a friend'.

Thanks for the smiles, Ladies.. I love that visual Migrainegirl. I'm going to keep that in my head for the day. "just say no" and "allergies" LMFAO. It really isn't so funny when you think of the degree, intensity and duration of the PAIN!!!!!!!!!!! and how it keeps coming back over and over and over again no matter what we do and how careful we are. It's not our fault.


I haven't changed my mind. I have to listen to their junk, so it is time they listened to my truth. Enough of the silent humble sufferer. This year they get an education.

I am so sad and so angry for you. Families can be so cruel, at times.

I suffered since childhood from migraines, I was the only one in my family, I could not stand the sun, strong smells, loud noises and smell of incense in church - all gave me migraine - and made me feel so ill.
But no one belived me, they just thought I was making fuss, and spoiling everybody's fun by "always complaining". I felt so hurt, I could not help feeling like I did after all.

Later they understood, and I found how to inform everyone gradually,y as I was learning more about migraines. But, I still remember the intense hurt and anger that no one belived me how badly I felt. I suppose they were all so healthy theye could not imagine what it was like.

I am so sorry that you are so misunderstood - it is so unfair.
But just bear in mind that raging and screaming will not get the message through.

MY one advice to you is not to rush with your reaction at the moment when you are still angry.

Do some research, find the best decsription of migraine, then print some of the best and leave them for a day or two. Tthen look at them again, to see which one describes migraine in a way that they would best understand.

Whateve you do, do not post it by e-mail - as no one reads e-mails properly, and if they do, they forget it instantly.

Print several of the chosen text copies, and send one to each member of family separately.
But first, add few words from yourself at the to,p saying someting like that you were hurt by their reaction, but that you realise that they might not have enough information about migrain,e so that you send them this text, and ask them to read it carefully.

Explain that this is very importnt to you that they realise how serious this condition is, and that it is incurable, so there are no misunderstandings in the future.

Be nice, not angry - ask for understanding when you are not well.
Of course you will use your own words in this, but I did something like this with a group of new friends, and they were really good about it, and more understanding.

It might, or might not work but you need to get their attention.
Do not argue - this might only give you migraine! Be calm - they will get the message in the end.

Maybe get one member of family to explain to first, asking them to read it in your presence and to ask you any questions.

a simple analogy might be that this disorder is more disabling than rheumatoid arthritis or MS, according to large studies. but that doesn't explain the pain, as nobody can really adequately explain pain.

my explanation is that the pain occurs where i THINK. therefore, it screws up my thinking, as well as being physically disabling. my 5 children have all seen me in the throes of hideous pain, and most have hauled me off to the ER on occasion.

there is no doubt in their minds how awful is this pain, because they have seen it for themselves. i look like hell and feel worse than that. i can hardly get words out. i do not scream nor cry, for this would only make the pain more intense.

i can't imagine that your loved ones are so heartless, so what i think is probable is what lissy said, "they have no idea how to help". helplessness makes people do weird things. dianne