needing a "virtual" listening ear-Please

Hi Everyone,

As I posted the other day, I have not been doing well at all in terms of migraines and my other health issues. There has been a lot of other things going on as well (won't bore you with the details now). In any case, I feel very isolated and alone right now.

I am a shy person by nature and so I have always had a handful of really good friends but never a large group of friends. Most people like me as a person and get along with me well, but I just do not get out enough and am too shy to make new friends real easily.

With my kids, my health and everything else, I do not get much of anywhere where I can make a new friend. Of my closest friends, a couple have moved away and everyone else is going through difficult times of their own. And one spends all her spare time with her new guy (which is understandable). I just feel so isolated and alone.

I am not alone with my two beautiful children but I am sure you get what I mean. Usually it does not bother me much not really having too many people I can depend on in life but since I have been feeling so poorly, it has been bothering me.

Hi

Sorry you are feeling so lonley lately. I'm glad you returned to this site. I was wondering about you lately. I remember those days when I had small children and feeling so isolated, but they always did pass. I had joined a clay drop in once a week where we could do pottery or sculpture and it really help me out. Is there something in your area like that, that you would be interested in that you could take? Arts club, reading club, walk club, etc. Some have babysitting and you learn a new skill while you meet people like yourself. Volunteer work is another way to meet good people.

At first its hard to get past the shyness, and you can find a few excuses to stop yourself, but once you sign up and go and realize that the people infront of you have had to overcome the same excuses, it becomes a very enjoyable time to look forward to.

Take care.
ANgela

awww sweetie. I used to be very afraid of strangers - still am due to my hearing loss.
Communication is so hard for me. But I found taking kids to the playground and talking to other moms and dads is very good place to make friends. Try that?

And, please free to email me. Anytime.

Risa

I hear you.

Remember that what any child needs most is a loving and healthy parent - and by healthy I am NOT speaking of migraines etc. I am speaking of an adult parent who realizes that getting his/her needs met in a helathy way is vital to the rearing of children.

I hear you - good luck, my friend.

Parenting in and of itself can be very isolating and stressful. Yes, we love those little gorgeous bundles but they can drain us of energy. Seinfeld likened them to little terrorists and their main strategy is sleep deprivation! Yes, it's funnier when he tells it. When you add migraines to the mix, it can become even more isolating.

I had a daycare in my house as a single mom and after two years I began to sound like Dr. Seuss. I encourage you to reach out in any way you can to those around you. Being shy can certainly make it harder, but often other mothers of young children are hungry for companionship also. You never know who might be glad you made the first move towards friendship.

Hi,

Thanks for the input everyone. I guess I am just going through a hard time right now and it is hard not to have too many close friends nearby. I am sure once I am in a position to get out more, that I will be able to make some new friends. But until I am feeling better, I just feel lonely. Well, not even sure if lonely is the right word. Who can be lonely with two beautiful kids at home.

Kris

Sorry forgot to add, with my health as it is right now (more than just migraines though as we know that in itself is enough to homebound us), I really cannot even physically get together with people too often. Even if it would be to take the kids to the park with another mom or whatever. For me, I am even happy having someone I can email and talk with on the phone. It is not enough in the long term, I just wish I had even that right now.

Before my dearest friend passed away, we primarily were able to communicate through email and phone calls. We rarely could get together in person. She actually didn't live closeby anyway. She was also not so healthy, had a daughter and a husband. She was a few years older (so like a big sister) and would call me most evenings to check up. It might sound dumb but even that made a difference in my life. I knew even if I was feeling lonely that my friend would check on me. And of course, she knew the same. If she was upset, she would call me up and cry, vent, whatever and seemed to feel better as well. It wasn't as ideal as getting to spend in-person friendship time but it meant a lot.

I was wondering- what about inviting some moms or dads to your house for play-date, then?

This way you wouldn't be alone, your children would play with other kids, and perhaps maybe even those other peeps would help you with your own kiddies?

Maybe this way you would expand your social circle? you never know....

Risa