Once a mother, always a mother

So I am talking to my Mom the other day telling her about my new exercise regime and my determination to lose 40lbs and this is what I get.

Me: Yeah, I'm riding my bike to work for more exercise.

Mom: Oh I don't know about you riding your bike on the street. That's dangerous.

What??? I'm 48! I've raised two kids to adulthood without killing them and she's worried about me being stupid enough to steer my bike in front of a car. Nothing about how riding a bike is great exercise both for your heart and to give you awesome looking legs. No...

Me: I ride on the bike trail.... no cars.


Me: My goal is to lose 40lbs in 8 months. Ambitious but doable.

Mom: Oh that's too fast. It's bad for your heart. It should take TWO years to lose that much weight.

What????? 2 years! are you kidding me! No wonder my Mom who is carrying a good 40-50 extra lbs herself has not lost any significant weight in years. My trainer thinks I can do it or at least come really close in 8 months. That is only 5 lbs a month. Add in riding my bike to work and back, which is great for my heart and legs, and it is definitely doable. Her version of weight loss is 1.5 lbs a MONTH!

I have to chuckle as I get on my bike and ride off into traffic.

I have to chuckle as I get on my bike and ride off into traffic.

Well I hope you wore your helmet and rode slowly and carefully.
Oh and dont go too close to the cars...

My parents are the same way but with a hint of them constantly thinking I am an idiot. It got far worse when our daughter was born. Mind you for all the dangerous things I play with I have had only a few minor injuries.

Many people just blow it off as parent quirk or annoyance. However with mine I have asked them to stop and it has become a boundary issue. They both have serious boundary issues aside from being worry warts. Three years ago it got so toxic that I cut all ties with them. It started involving my daughter and that is when I blew up at them and said goodbye.

Both of my sisters also got to that point. For most it might be considered "cute" but it's disrespectful and intrusive. If it is not aggressively managed it can become divisive.

Our journey of maturing must include switching gears from raising and protecting a child to acknowledging them as a responsible adult. It's dysfunctional of parents to not be able to see you as an independent, responsible and intelligent adult.

Alli,

Kudos to you for doing this for yourself! It takes a lot of determination and willpower, especially when you are in pain to force yourself to exercise like this. Way to go!

Now, the mom thing. I recently just moved back in with my mom. Boy can I relate. She is constantly telling me what to do and what not to do, and at my age. I don't have a clue how I managed this long on my own without her

I love her dearly, but I swear if I hear one more time, don't forget to lock the doors, turn off the lights, drink lots of water, don't eat that, eat this, don't take those meds, you need to eat more, don't eat too much, you get what i'm saying all day, every day. I will go completely crazy, or I should say, more than I already am!

Hugs!

I'm practically the only person in our large family who has managed to let 90% of what my Mom says roll off my back. But if I had to live with her for more than a week at a time, I think I would lose it. Just 4 days in Texas for my son's wedding was bad enough....

I shouldn't let my 21 yr old daughter take the car and drive 4 hours to meet a friend. BUT she should get out more.... It's not good for her to not do anything. It's not good for me to be on all this medication.... etc.. you get the picture....

I love my Mom but geez!!! Sever the cord Mom!