Google refuses to display "cougar" ads

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/16/fashion/16cougar.html

Bravo Pen!
Another excellent matter to discuss.

So cougars and cubs are out, but sugar daddies and sugar babies are in.

As a woman I am wholly offended by this sexist attitude Goggle seem to accepted toward ladies seeking company
of younger men, who in turn are seeking company of aforesaid ladies.
Consenting adults, no?, so where's the problem?!

Google, which has more than a million advertisers, would not comment on why sugar-daddy sites are still considered family safe, but cougar sites are not.

exactly - flat out double standard, hypocrisy.

Many feminists still take issue with the word “cougar” because it may conjure the image of a predatory, aggressive older woman on the hunt for a boy toy.

I agree. I think this is another example of sexist attitude. Aren't old men lusting after young women dirty pervert predators as well?
That's one issue. Another, not every older woman wanting to date much younger man is a predator, some are genuinely seeking loving relationship. By birthdate older, they feel much younger at heart and sometimes even still possess a good working body - simple!

Male/May - female/December relationship is hard to accept in our society mainly, I think, because we are by evolution programmed to maintain the species, so such union is by nature deemed as non-productive and therefore unconsciously unacceptable.
Then it consciously evolves into a set of this whole human social development.


Because, let's face it, apart from purely aesthetic side to such an relationship, what harm is in it?

The woman is usually past her family responsibilities, financially secure, stable in her professional career,
as for the man he must be at least of legal age.

The only striking difference between them is how they look. In the cougar couple sometimes a woman is at disadvantage I am sorry to say. but, if her partner doesn't mind, who cares???

I agree that it in the end it comes right down to this:
“It’s relatively new that women have felt O.K. to be sexual and be attractive and continue to be alive in that way as they aged,” said Lonnie Barbach, a psychologist in San Francisco who specializes in female sexuality and relationships. “It’s always been an acceptable part of culture for men to be sexual at all ages and all levels.”

And absolutely agree that we have a case of sexist discrimination.
Is not old, 'dilapidated' Hugh Hefner living with his almost under-aged Bunnies outright disgusting?
Wrinkly 'hunch-y' old man with sagging skin allover (with all due respect to everyone, as I too being to sag, I am just making a point) surrounded by gorgeous fresh firm flesh - BUT that is okay?! and safe because HE is a MAN.

l Sugar Daddy service catering to ambitious and attractive girls seeking successful and generous benefactors to fulfill their lifestyle needs!”

sure, because there are no ambitious and attractive young men seeking generous successful female benefactors...

I could go on and on...

what the heck?! these things are so obvious- every argument against Cougar-ism can be shot down with such ease it's laughable. who's fooling who?

Risa

I agree Risa. I was out with a friend one time and we met up with a single male acquaintance. During our conversation it came out that he would only date women under 30. Now this guy was in his early sixties, a bit paunchy, balding and frankly not that great a catch as his attitude was not that great.

He was well off though and I can only assume that the women he would attract and who would stay would be there for his money. I was only in my late 30's at the time and even though there was no interest on my part, I was a little offended that I was not date material simply because of my age. And that this attitude was condoned and celebrated our society.

Women who say such things as "I only date younger men" are seen as predatory. Which is kind of laughable. I just see these women "preying" on the poor defenseless men out there. Most women are not as strong physically as men so can be over-powered pretty easily. So how are we preying on them? Are we going to corrupt them with our vast experience? Frankly, they might be better partners in the long run after being in a relationship with a woman who knows what she wants.

When my son was in his early 20's he was in a 4 year relationship with a woman 15 years older than him. I wasn't very happy about it at first but she was a good woman when they broke up there was very little drama. I didn't see her as preying on my son. She was just the person he was dating.

I wonder what Google is worried about.

Well said, Risa; and great points, Alli. The double standards are so not right.

You old women are really sick in the head! Immoral! Predators! How dare you argue that old women (30+) have a right to date and form relationships with young men! silly women!

Leave the young men for the old gay guys!

ROTFLMAO

(PS I personally prefer to date men who remember where they were the day Kennedy was assasinated. Odd criteria, I know, but I have found that men younger than that and I do not share similar memories and upbringing. I was in the 6th grade of elementary school that fateful day.)

Language tell us a lot about ourselves. Sexual language can make or break a self concept.

Older men who seek out younger women do not have a specific name that I know of.

RICH older men are "Sugar Daddies." A nice, sweet name - sugar+daddy. Nice.

BUT, a younger woman seeking an older man is a "Gold Digger." Not so nice. "Sugar Babe" is nicer, but still pretty new.

"Cougar" is aggressive and sleek and dangerous. "Boy toy" is not dangerous to anyone.

In my world we have a dictionary full of sexual language.

"Bear" is my favorite and was a natural, given the American aging baby boomers. A "Bear" is a middle age or older gay man with facial hair (bald is fine). Chest hair is a plus for a bear. Bears usually are slightly overweight. Hot! My Steve was a defining Bear. Men who are NOT bears but find bears attractive are "bear hunters" ... but more often called "Otters." "Baby bear" is a term of endearment for a younger man.

Men who work out are now calling themselves "Wolves." Interesting idea.

Then we have a whole language based on the object of one's desires. Many are now considered offensive. You can easily tell which ones have grown out of favor in modern gay culture:

Rice queens are white men who prefer Asian and Pacific Islander partners.
Taco queens are white men who love the Latino / Hispanic Male.
Jungle fever describes a white man interested in a black man.
chicken Hawk is an older man seeking partners who are very much younger.

Our relationship words tell you a lot about us.

Partners are not married ... no husband-husband, wife-wife. They have unique relationships that are completely self defined.

Husbands (and Wives) are as married as my Mom and Dad were.

Daddy-boy teams have a dominant and a submissive in the bedroom and in public. One never really knows if it is the Daddy who is submissive in the bedroom, but the Daddy is usually dominant (and richer) in public arenas. And "Daddies" can be the younger partner.

Master-slave relationships enjoy the magick of SM in the bedroom and often outside the bedroom. These relationships can be straight, gay, or bisexual.

Then there is polyamory (spelling?) This is a combination of 3+ persons in an intimate and loving and committed relationship. (gay, straight, bi) I have known of very few of these. All the gay folks I know and have talked with are 1:1.

Craigslist will accept ads seeking Latino partners, younger partners, older partners, etc. ... but will not accept any Master-slave ads. Weird.

Google is wrong to edit out "cougar." You girls go for it! Fair is fair!

My bottom line is I want to determine for myself who I find attractive. If I want that right, then I simply have to afford everyone else the identical right. As long as we are discussing adults (no kids, no animals, no illegal behavior) then I say "Have at it!" Hope you are both very happy.

I told my daughter in law, who has 3 kids by 3 different dads, not to allow anyone to call her a slut. What word is there for a man with children by different mothers? If there is one it is not derogatory.

I had lots of male gay friends when I was young and living in Philadelphia, not so many now, I don't get out as much. I remember them using the terms "tops" and "bottoms". They referred to their partners as their "roommates". Many years later I had a gay boss in Tucson and I did not know at first how to refer to his partner, once I let roommate slip out, to my embarrassment.

Shame on Google! They aren't as progressive as they would like to think of themselves as being. Although it's better than it once was, there is still so much gender and age bias in society. I could write pages and pages on this. Instead, I'll just say that I think it's important to continue to question my own biases and the company line forced on my since birth.

I remember reading the Science Fiction book, Stranger in a Strange Land, when I was a teenager. The main character found old faces to be more attractive than young faces. He felt that young, smooth faces all looked very similar and were not very interesting. But old faces had each developed his/her own set of unique lines, which he found attractive.

The book really made me think about what we consider attractive and why. I realized that I don't have to look at things like everyone else does. I do have a choice of viewpoints.

Chris

Shame Google, shame.
Is there a way that we could note our protest, I wonder?

Like stop using our gmail addresses, or using them less, so they have less chance to advertise?

After all there are alternatives to gmail. I have different e-mail address for my close family, another for friends etc...And it is easy to create new ones anyway.
I am now seriously thinking of boycotting Google, just to make my own private little protest. This is appaling and Google is playing with fire. It is a clear case of discrimination.
Next, they will be telling women to cover their faces becasue they are danger to men.
Remind me again, what century we are in?

And another thing - I know cougar is meant to sound derogatory, but then again, cougar is such a beautiful cat. And what is wrong with pouncing? Any man, a real man whatever his age is surely able to "defend" himself if he is not interested. What is the big deal.

Besides, in my exprience it is usually the younger men who pounce on older women in social situations, and not the other way round. I am not talking about singles forums, just reality of life. Anyone who is out there socially, would know that anyway.

Cougar sounds fine to me. Cougar is a beautiful animal.

Senna

Our culture is full of sexism and double standards some get called out and addressed and many others don't. Think about the commercials on TV. They would have believing that......

Men can't fix anything.

Men can't take care of their own health.

Men don't know what the right medicine is.

Anything they touch turns to crap.

Men don't know how to dress nice on their own.

Men are the cause of all divorces and ruined relationships.

Men can't take care of or raise kids.

1 in 6 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer and 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Yet breast cancer dominates the media and garners all the attention and gov and private funding. When is the last time you saw a blue ribbon representing prostate cancer awareness? It can affect your husbands, boyfriends, brothers, sons, uncles and dad's.

IMHO all highly preventable cancers should be talked about and made aware of. A cancer diagnosis or death impacts all families very badly.

According to DHHS women are responsible for just as much domestic violence as men. They are more likely to abuse small kids and the elderly.

Yet when you hear the term domestic violence a man pops into your head.

But all of this is some how ignored and swept under the table. We must draw attention to it and not contribute to it. That is all we can do with any sexism or societal double standards.

I agree with Senna, nothing wrong with pouncing!!!

And I have been hit on more often by younger guys than guys my age or older.

I always ask "Don't you know how old I am?" they always say "Yes and I like older women"!!
From what the younger guys have told me, they like the maturity that the older women have, less relationship drama, and they hope to benefit from the cougar's .......ahem........experience (if you know what I mean).

That being said, I have dated 2 men that were 15 years younger than me. They were ALOT OF FUN , but like Richard, the generation gap thing was an issue for me. But, woohoo, they were definately worth dating for a while!!

Of course, now my girlfriends all call me a cougar, UG.

beth

In my circle of friends the term "cougar" is a fun complimentary term. I have never seen it as negative description. When you see the age difference of when men and women hit their sexual prime it makes a lot of sense.

What's wrong with a women who knows what she wants and who to get it from? I know a lot of guys that their first sexual experience was with an older women. They always speak highly of it and never ever label the woman with any negative terms.

Garth Brooks wrote "That Summer",a great song about his summer adventure helping a widow keep and run her farm.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/garthbrooks/thatsummer.html

the negative implication that the term cougar invokes imho is that i'm OLD! lol and that is not cool.

what weirds me out is when guys my sons ages hit on me, eeeeewwwwww, too close to home and too creepy.

my rule is not to date anyone younger than 25!