To dye, or not to dye. Opinions please

This year I decided to let my hair grow out into it's natural color. Which turned out to be gray

My hair grows very fast and I was tired of the upkeep.

I've gotten comments ranging from: "It's beautiful, you have pretty gray" to "I didn't recognize you with your hair" to "Your hair surprised me" (from my 80 year old aunt who I only exchange cards with. No other comments on her card...just that. But at 80 she still dyes her hair blonde).

I have a hair appt Monday and am trying to decide whether to go back to coloring it. Hubby and son are worthless. After 27 years together hubby will still try to give the answer he thinks I want to hear (even though I have told him over and over if I didn't want his honest opinion I wouldn't ask! He will finally answer the "does this make me look fat" question, but only if I phrase it "does this make me look bigger than I really am". And he has also learned that on the way to the function, when it's too late to change, is not the time to offer that opinion )

So will you guys help with your honest opinions? I'm going to post before and after pic's.

Here's this years xmas card pic in my full gray glory.

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Here's the pic from two years ago. I do miss the weight loss I had that year while on Topamax! (sorry, I can't get the pic to rotate. I have it rotated on the computer when I copy and paste it goes back to sideways)

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Charlotte

I like em both and cant tell too much of a difference between the grey and blond to be honest.
i definitely like your new cut better than the old
i'd stick with the grey because dying is expensive, time consuming, smelly and annoying lol.
and it looks bad when the roots grow in

i've thought about dying my hair a lot but nahhh
its a pain in the butt
embrace your age, you look beautiful!

I didn't think there was that much difference either, but the "I didn't recognize you" comment made me wonder.

I color my hair so I am a little biased. I am also turning gray early and quickly so i color and do foils . (my mom was completely gray by her early 40s and I am well on my way to that) If you don't want an all over color which is more upkeep why not do some bright highlights around the face in winter just to brighten up the color? Your gray is quite a pretty silver already a few bright highlights and maybe some lowlights will give it some dimension and not require the upkeep. Just another route to look at if you would like some change. Beautiful family

Jo

I love the gray! I have some scraggly gray hairs on top of my head...just enough to remind me that I am no longer a kid ;-( I have highlighted my hair on and off (frosting) since high school (I'm 49) but my hair is not in the same condition as when I was young. So I'd prefer to just let it go (and that's what I am doing).

Your hair looks nice and shiny. If you think it looks good and your husband likes it, then there's your answer. I don't think it makes you look old. My hairstylist told me about a product they use which is more like a stain. It lasts a while but it gradually wears off. I'm sorry that I don't remember exactly what it is. Maybe you could inquire with your hairstylist about it or just ask her if there's something you could try that doesn't require a strict touch up (a stark difference when your roots grow in).

Gosh.....I don't think I've been any help at all! Suffice it to say I think you are beautiful in both pictures and please tell your son that he made my day. I still love Led Zeppelin!

That stain your talking about can be found at Ulta but I think it has been discontinued. I never used it, but I
used to work for ulta and I don't recommend it. Its like a shampoo but I got a lot of returns and
complaints about it. Just a heads up. Try it out if you'd like but definitely after Christmas! LOL

I started gong grey at 18. You read that correctly ... 18!!

I am a big believer in dying hair ... I dye my beard and eye brows, etc. My hair is hortory! LOL

When my eyes got old I got Lasik surgery. when my brain got old I took migraine medicine. When my hair gets old I dye it.

BUT I am single. You are happily married. AND YOU look great either way. Flip a coin and go with the results.

Personally, I love your grey hair......especially with the blue blouse. Am I correct that your eyes are blue too? I think there is nothing more beautiful than lovely, sparkling blue eyes and grey hair.

Both pictures are lovely, but I think you're beautiful just the way you are.

Becky

I am 52, and I don't have any gray yet. But when I start turning gray, I'm just going to leave it because I'm getting so OLD!

Cheryl

embrace your age, you look beautiful!

You can embrace your age even more so with hair dyed a beautiful color!

Charlotte, don't even think about it- no matter how beautiful gray is - it AGES one ages !!!

Dye you hair TODAY !!!

With so many great hair colors available today on the market,
and so easy to do at home with a help of a friend there is no excuse NOT to have your roots done every 6 weeks to two months.
There is even this product for roots only which I didn't tried yet myself but is supposedly very easy to apply.
If you have short to medium hair lenght, then you don't have to worry about your hair turning black at the ends from overprocessing!

Of course, anytime you can afford it do it professionally - for the pampering and for the best results of it.

Go, go, go to the hair salon, Charlotte, to be as glamorus and sexy as you know you can be!

Risa

I'm on the fence with you. Your blond and your gray both look very natural.

I keep telling myself I will color my gray when it comes in. I'm 39. So far, no gray, so I haven't had to do anything.

I can't keep up with the roots when I do color my hair, and it frustrates me and makes me feel worse-looking.

Good luck with your decision.

I think you look good either way, I have to dye my hair once a month (can't afford to go to the hairdressers), and wish I had never started
colouring my hair, it's a pain to have to cover the grey roots every month but they look awful growing in. I also put the colour all over as I would
find it too fiddly doing it in sections.

You have a beautiful looking family!

When you think about it, there are very few real blonds out there. Even people who were blond as kids end up darkening up as they get older. Anyone beyond the age of 30 with blond hair is pretty much guaranteed to be coloring it.

How about changing it up? Pick an auburn or other shade of red, reddish blond or reddish brown. You might find that to be a nice change and just the impetus you need to look forward to maintaining it.

I think you look good either way, and I do like the new style more, but I'm from the "dye it camp" I don't think we're being very helpful here. LOL

I think I'm going to go with Chinookgrl's suggestion and get some highlights and lowlights to make it POP a little and not have to worry so much about the upkeep.

I'm in the middle of growing my hair out for my son's wedding next June. I thought it would be more fun to play with hairstyles if I actually HAD some hair.

When I was dying it blonde, my BIL felt he always had to tell me "dumb blonde" jokes. I told him if I was a real blonde I'd be offended.

Charlotte

I get the dumb blond jokes a lot. Im naturally blond. I do get offended, more so now
I'm on topamax.

It's funner to be a brunette, trust me

I say do what makes you feel good. I am 38 and have just started going grey in the last year. It's not terribly noticeable yet, but it bothers me more than I thought it would. I have very thick, very curly hair, and its very dark, so while the curls hide the random greys that pop up, the dark color nixs the advantage of having the curls hide the greys. If I part my hair in a new place, I can see more greys that are usually hidden.

I've been dying it myself to hide greys, but mainly because they are so startling when they show up, silver against the dark brown.

I have to say, it's troublesome that I am more vain about it than I thought I would be. I thought it wouldn't matter to me, when I didn't have the grey hair to worry about. But I guess my point is, if it makes us feel better about ourselves, then who does it hurt? If it would make you feel better about yourself, go for it. If you like it grey, leave it. It looks nice either way.

My hair is long right now, I don't plan to cut it short again, so when I do let it grow out grey, I'm going to have long, grey hair

I think you look very nice in both pics but I think I like the blonde hair better. I am 45 and I dye my hair all the time. I have been told it makes me look younger and I believe thats true. Its what you think that really matters though. Im sure you will look nice whatever you decide.

I like the grey. You have more silvery hair than grey and it looks pretty. I say stay natural. It is soo much easier!

Alli

AAAARRRGGGHHHHH.

I did not communicate very well what I wanted...what a surprise, I had a headache. Anyway, my hair is a nice, natural, BROWN. I've never had brown hair in my life.

Even hubby and best friend admitted they didn't like it and that takes alot when I'm having a heart attack over it.

Oh, well, my hair grows very fast!

Charlotte

LOL Charlotte, how dark a brown?

I have very dark brown hair naturally, and for years never wore it it's natural color. Like from high school to about a year ago. I hated how dark it was because I'm very pale, so I thought it looked unnatural.

I went from light brown with lighter brown/blond highlights, to various shades of red (from red to brownish red). I was a redhead for about 10 years. Finally bit the bullet when I decided I had to cut the expense of the upkeep out of my budget.

I'm actually happy now with my natural color. I've gotten used to the dark brown. And, bonus, it lightened up naturally on the ends so its not as dark as I remember it being when I was a teenager (the last time it was its natural color). The irony is that I finally make peace with my natural color and it starts to go grey

So, all this to say, you may be surprised by how you feel about your natural color after not having had your hair colored your natural color for several years. It kind of makes me feel like my younger self again I feel like I look more like my first passport photo again

I think as long as you don't go too dark, so that it doesn't look natural, you should be ok. Looking at your picture, I think you look lovely with your silver hair. But I also think you would look beautiful with brown hair. I think it would give you a naturally youthful look. It would brighten your eyes and skin even more.

If you do it, I think you should splurge and have it done in the salon. That's my opinion, for what it's worth.

Anyway, my hair is a nice, natural, BROWN.

what do you mean? you went to a hair salon and they dyed your hair a wrong color?
it can be fixed easily.

headache here also


Risa

Yes, I went to a salon and I have NO idea what happened. Now I'm embarrassed to go back in and say how wrong it is. I told her I wanted to highlight the natural color of my hair. Well, she didn't look at the gray, she looked at what was underneath the gray at what was my natural color, which I guess is brown.

It must not be to bad, no one at work said anything about it. Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive.

I wish I were closer to you Risa, so you could fix it!

Charlotte

At 59 my hair is beginning to go gray. The gray hairs are wiry and strange, not like the shiny honey blond ones I still mostly have. So, I've taken to having the crown of my head of hair basket weave bleached (they use foil wraps). It works pretty well. I'll go totally gray when most of it turns gray. Mom always looked nice in her white hair and striking blue eyes. Hopefully that'll be me someday. You'll look nice either way, I think.
MM

I wish I were closer to you Risa, so you could fix it!

:
Do not despair, what you can do is you can make lighter highlights, two colors even.

go back to the salon and simply tell the truth - that you mis-communicated what you wanted and you are not quite happy with the outcome.
They all want to keep the client, remember. So she might be willing to work the issue out with you.

Ask her to bring the dye chart - they should have more than one, and point out her the colors you like.
Together you should pick at last one much lighter color to make the brown you have now appear lighter and warmer.
However I would advise against just blond as you will look as graying - again.
I would go with something red - as orangey red, and warm blond. but then I can't see what do your hair really look like,
so do trust your hairdresser more than me.

this is what I mean by hair highlighting:
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I wouldn't do this, though because of " going gray effect"
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but something in these tones;
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good luck sweetie!
Risa