How do you deal with jerks on the internet?

Why is it that some people just seem to enjoy being jerks to people? I`ve come across so many of them and it doesn`t do any good to confront their behavior because all the do is deny or rationalize it. And then when one jerk starts in, the others seem to follow after him. How do you guys handle these type of people?

I usually try to ignore them. Sometimes I get drawn in, (especially when it's ME being the jerk )but for the most part I have enough drama in my own life and don't need to get more from strangers.

Unfortunately, the anonymity of the 'net lends itself to rude behavior.

Jerks feed on attention. Remove the food.

Jerks feed on attention. Remove the food.

Don't respond. Response is Jerk food. Starve the jerk by not feeding his ego. They are looking for the heated response and thrive on it. If you ignore them, they die and go away.

Hal

"Response is Jerk food" - this is very true, Hal.
"Jerks feed on it" - so true, Angela.
However, such people are often difficult to spot in the beginning.
They are very clever blending in, making friends, saying all the right things but all the time only waiting to pounce, by gradually forcing their own personal and political "issues" and casues on others with one aim in mind: hoping to provoke bad fights.

They love drama, they love attention and pesonal limelight - this is what they live for.
It has nothing to do with "The Cause".
They only use "The Cause", as "An Excuse": to insult, to bully, and to intimidate others -
they will do anything to get attention.
No forum is safe.

So, just look for a person with and issue, with The Cause which they promote, and you will soon spot the troublemaker on any forum.

They love drama, they love attention and pesonal limelight - this is what they live for.
It has nothing to do with "The Cause"

I have a BIL like that. He will take the opposite stance on any topic. He calls it being the "Devils Advocate". It would be okay if he just wanted to discuss all sides of a topic, but he does it to bully and browbeat people. He was complaining to hubby because I won't talk politics with him anymore (I'm the only one "worthy" because I'm the only one with college degree. He has two years of college and lords it over everyone). I love a good debate, but not when it's purely for the sake of argument.

Hmmm, it sounds like these people are very narcissitic.

He is obviously very threatened by you, and tries to provoke you, Charlotte.
You are very wise no to let him provoke you. He is also very insecure, but this does not help you, does it? You are right that such people are not prepared to look at all sides of an argument - they need to be right. They will not accpet any other point of view.
Walking to another room sometimes does a trick, but you cannot do that on the internet can you.

What happens on many forums, is that there is usually one person, a bully with The Cause (ususally it is just one cause- sometimes it is War, sexual politics, or religion) who will do anything to gain attention usually by bullying people, forcing their own point of view on everybody else, by fear.

Such a bully with The Cause often surrounds him/herself with a gang - they communicate outside of the forum by poisonous e-mails - and will do anything to destroy people who dare to disagree with them by insults, by false accusations, reapted attacks and any means possible.
They leave forums in pieces people divided, in tears, bitterness, and friendships ruined.

I have seen this happened in the past, and I hope this will not happen here. It woul be a great shame.This seems like a very nice forum

Senna

You are right Kate. They are. They are also a serious danger on forums like this one, where stress can cause serious health problems becasue it is one of the worse migraine triggers - leaving people seriously ill and in pain, for many days.
This is why we need to be able to stop any trouble makers, as soon as they try to cause any trouble, and protest
Senna

I`ve seen these people attacking others who ask for help about something or the subject could be as simple like grocery shopping. It`s amazing how they can be a jerk over something as simple as grocery shopping(for example). They put other people down, over the most petty things and are vicious. And when someone is already down, looking for opinions, they" kick them while they are down."

So sad. What is the best way to prevent this happening, I wonder
How is the forum to protect itself against mindless visciosuness of such individuals.
Any ideas? Anyone?

Senna,

Just do not react to them. Ignore them. Do not answer their posts. Eventually they go away.

Hal

Do they go away, Hal? Or, do they try harder and harder to cause trouble - this is a question.

As we know, this is a migraine forum for people with migraine issues, yet already as it often happens this new and useful forum is being used by some people for political purposes, in order to promote openly political issues.
The worrying sign is not so much the cause itself, but the intimidating way in which the language is being used.
There is no mistaking a combative, and threatening tone of the message which is not only highly provocative but very emotive. It all sounds rather ominous.

This forum is hardly new...it has been around for years. Many of the people who post have been in this community for years. It just changed formats a few months ago.

It is not strictly for migaine. That is why there is a migraine side and a miscellaneous side.

I've noticed nothing intimidating, threatening or ominous. I like that this forum has exposed me to ideas and beliefs that I have not encountered before.

Senna wrote:Do they go away, Hal? Or, do they try harder and harder to cause trouble - this is a question.

As we know, this is a migraine forum for people with migraine issues, yet already as it often happens this new and useful forum is being used by some people for political purposes, in order to promote openly political issues.
The worrying sign is not so much the cause itself, but the intimidating way in which the language is being used.
There is no mistaking a combative, and threatening tone of the message which is not only highly provocative but very emotive. It all sounds rather ominous.

Instead of being very vague about all of this, Senna..why don't you just go right out and say what you are trying to say here. Don't beat around the bush. If you are going to make accusations..make them.

I strongly disagree with you. I have no IDEA what you are talking about in fact. I have not read anything on this forum that matches that description or does not belong here other than your post which is simply not right because if you have a problem with someone like this you should not be broadcasting it on a public post and in the manner you are doing so. You should bring it up with the member through private message so you give them the opportunity to realize their mistakes and correct it, not call them out. I'd say more because THIS is NOT right but I don't want to disrespect you. Please know though that at least from my standpoint, this type of post is not right.

I like that too, Charlotte.
My concern is that we should be able to listen, and discuss various issued with each other, without fear of intimidation and name calling, if any meaningful exchange of ideas is to take place. But I suppose this is not likely to happen.
I really do not wish to say anything more on the subject since the last thing I want is to have any disagreements. I was just concercerned and voiced my fears in connection with the original subject in question.

Senna,

What are you referring to? There were a few posts on this forum a while ago from a particular person that was of this nature, but to my knowledge, the posts have been deleted and he was banned by the moderator.

I don't see anything that has been disrespectful or if there was something, then it was called by another member. It usually was due to written word rather than spoken word and had some misinterpretation. Usually the original person either clarifies or apologizes if they were in the wrong.

From the message boards I've been apart of, this one is the most "jerk" free one I've had the chance to be a part of. There is always a person or two with their own agenda, but usually they are ignored. I guess I'm confused as to what you are referring to as I've not seen anything lately that would qualify in the nature you're describing.

Senna, I think LG's advice is the most appropriate course of action. If you specifically have a problem, you should handle it via Personal Message with the person directly.
Otherwise, the kind of statement you're making is kind of inflammatory. It can stir up trouble where there isn't any. Please be very careful about what you say and how you say it.