Having a Hard Time

Hey everyone,

This is the first time that I have posted something like this. Usually I have specific question that I need to have answered or I have a reply for someone else. But life is getting really unbearable at the moment and I could use some support.

I have been suffering with increasingly frequent migraines since 2006. In 2008, I had to go off work because I was getting them almost every day and at that point they were really severe. This past January, I attempted to go back to work (as a speech-language pathologist) in spite of the fact that I was still having about 14 migraines per month. I was initially trying to work 0.8, then had to drop my hours to 0.4 and by the end of April I had to go off work again. Work just made everything worse so that by June, I had 24 migraines in a month and the severity was up again.

I have tried a wide array of different medical treatments, everything from meds to alternative therapies. At the beginning of July, I seemed to be having some success with a combined detox/elimination diet and some visceral manipulation only to crash again after a couple of weeks. Botox just seems to have made things even worse.

My insurance company has denied my long-term disability claim due to lack of medical evidence. While they recognize that I am unable to continue in my current profession (I was fired from my position due to my medical condition), they feel that I should be able to do some other job. This, despite the fact that I have more than six years worth of medical documentation and a recent report from my family physician stating in no uncertain terms that I am completely disabled.

Because of my lack of income and deteriorated health, my husband and I have had to put our adoption file on hold. We have also had to postpone becoming foster parents. My world and my life plans seem to have shrunk to such an extent that there doesn't seem to be much point in getting up in the morning anymore. I feel like I have no purpose and nothing to look forward to. I know that sounds really bleak and I don't mean to be so negative (I'm usually not, honest) but these days it feels like I am operating in some kind of parallel universe to everyone else, even my husband.

My psychologist has recently suggested anxiety meds to help decrease my anxiety triggers. I have had bad experiences with meds and am only taking Propanolol and Maxalt at the moment. I am loathe to start taking something else. I don't know what to do. Anxiety related to my extended family keeps triggering me and because of this and some complex family dynamics I have lost a sister, a brother-in-law, three nieces, a mother, and a brother from my life. My relationship with my father is hanging by a thread.

I am so very tired of all of this. I have tried so many things to get better. I am losing my faith in God. I am losing my hope. Where do I go from here?

I am so terrible sorry to hear your story and very, very sad on your behalf. How well I undersstand your state of mind and your dilemmas, many of us have been along the same route.

I am so sorry,I want to reply to your cry from the heart, as fully as your deserve, but forgive me, at the moment I need to make some urgent calls to the hospital, about some cancelled appt and need to gather some paperwork and this might take me some time. But I will be back later.
In meantime hold on, believe me we understand your pain so well, and we are all here for you.

It is when we run out of things to say to ourselves to keep us going that we turn to the migraine boards...............that is what we are here for my friend. We all understand how difficult it can be to get out of bed everyday knowing what the day will be like. I try (and sometimes succeed!) to find pleasure in the small things in my day that I can do. Even if it is just touching base with a friend via email or venting my frustration on this website. I know I spend way too much time focusing on what I can't do that I forget about what I can do.............even though I can't travel very often to see my children and grandchild I can reach out to the single mother around the corner from me and hug and love her children.

Please hang on my friend..........we are here..........we understand............we share your frustration and your pain. Please hug those people in your life you care about.......and here is a long-distance hug (((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))

i was forced to apply for disability. took me 2 1/2 years to fight for it but i got it. i lost four jobs in a row due to my chronic pain. chronic as in i go weeks without being able to leave my house.

hang in their...........

Just wanted to say a heartfelt thank you for all of your kind words. I'm so glad that I found this forum. Just knowing that there are people out there who really get what I am going through helps.

Hi Cookie,

Sorry things seem so bad right now. Hang in there on the disability fight. A number of forum members have succeeded after multiple rejections. It takes persistence and appeals. You may want to pursue social security disability before getting the insurance disability. There are lawyers who specialize in helping on these cases, which might make a good investment.

Hopefully with some off work and more focus on your health and your schedule, your symptoms will improve some.

We are all rooting for you!