Steve and Thom and Christmas

I am still grieving my loss of Steve, my dearly beloved husband. I know I will never get over my loss, but to tell you all the truth, I am MUCH better than I have been for one year eleven months fifteen days. I will never get over it, but I am getting used to it.

Having my good friend Otis move in as a roommate in September has made a world of difference in my life. Just having someone to cook dinner for is making me eat better. Having a clean house and knowing the dogs will be walked no matter how I feel ... well, it is like a miracle to me.

I have also met a new guy on the Internet. Thom lives in Florida. We have spoken by phone and emailed until our fingers are sore! LOL I like him a great deal. Thom is coming to Ravenhurst in January for ten days. That is a long time but it is a mileage ticket and those are the dates he could get.

I have tried to explain my neurological disease to him ... but it is hard to imagine unless you see me in action going bonkers before your very eyes. I have warned him I am damaged goods ... but he is still interested. That is rare in my eyes. He is on disability like Steve was ... the dreaded HIV disease. Maybe his own limitations make him better able to accept mine. I don't know. Maybe he will see me in an episode and head for the nearest Holiday Inn. I really don't know.

I do know that I am glad my heart was not permanently withered away and closed to human contact. My friends say I look great ... 20 years younger. And I am celebrating Christmas again. THAT feels good. I am playing Santa to three adorable children I love ... their parents are financially strapped during this horrible recession and I am having a ball planning Christmas surprises for them.

So after one year, eleven months, and fifteen days of reporting depression and grief here ... I am pleased to say that I am drawing close to being actually happy. Between the joys of my roommate, the joys of my three borrowed children, and the thrill of a new friend ... well, my life is on the upswing, I think.

I will never be able to thank you all for your true love and support after Steve died and after my Dad passed on this September. Having dumped my bad news on you all, I wanted to share some better perspectives.

I am glad to know a happier times seem to be in for you Richard. You certainly deserve it.
I hope you'll have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

btw it's good to see you posting. I was wondering where did you disappeared to.

Risa

I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better these days. That is really good news. It sounds like you are keeping very busy to me, despite the migraines. You are going to make those children so happy this Christmas. What a wonderful and inspiring idea. Thanks for sharing your good news. I know the migraines are still interfering with your life though, and I pray that they will lessen so you can enjoy your future plans.

I'm so happy for you, Richard!!! Wonderful news.

Becky

So good to hear from you Richard! Here I was worried about you and you were out having fun Christmas shopping, meeting new people...! I am so happy for you.

I am also glad that your room mate situation is working out. It is so nice to have someone to fall back on when you can't get out of bed.

Charlotte (aka Joan)

Richard,

It sounds like you're bordering on being joyous. I am genuinely thrilled for you. I predict you will have a wonderful Christmas and wow do you deserve it!

Chris

Hi Richard,
I am so glad to hear you news.
Time can mend almost everything.
You'll never forget Steve and you'll always miss him, but this will not prevent you from being happy and in love again!
Good for you

I'm so glad you are feeling better and that life is looking happier for you! This last Thanksgiving, two of my sisters, my brother and I went through a several boxes of family pictures and talked about my Dad who passed away when I was 22. We hadn't looked at these pictures is 26 years and it was such a wonderful experience to show our children who their grandfather was. He died before any of the grandchildren were born. I was 2 months along with my son when he passed.

It is amazing how healing it can be to just to look at pictures, share your memories and learn things you never knew about people you loved. This is my favorite picture of my dad. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Alli

What a neat picture, Alli. Your dad looks like a movie star--dashing and handsome.

My brother and I went through pictures a couple years ago and had a similar experience. My brother is ten years older than me, but it's funny how we each remembered or knew different things about family history. My brother was impressed by the nice cars my dad drove when he was young in the early 1940's. My brother is a car nut. My dad passed away in 1995.

Becky

What a neat picture, Alli. Your dad looks like a movie star--dashing and handsome.

Definitely! Now I know from whom you inherited your great genes

Risa

Richard,

Great to see you posting here again. Nothing like children to make Christmas a joyous occation. Such fun!

You have some good things to look forward to in January. \\Have a Wonderful Christmas this season.

kimsmom

Here's to a happy christmas! Really nice to hear you sound so optimistic.

Take care

Amy