bad date stories

For the period i was on the dating scene i had several bad dates.
I'm gonna summarize here and would love to hear yours!!

#1 Tracksuit Guy
He showed up to an upscale bar/restaraunt in a poufy nylon tracksuit (and no he had not been running) He did tell me that he normally didn't dress like that (thank god i thought to myself) then he tells me that he normally wears bib overalls!!!

#2 Funeral Home Guy
Now i never went out with, spoke to or emailed this guy, but he sent me tons of emails.
In each email he addressed me as "Precious" - all i could think about was the little dog named precious in The Silence of the Lambs!!!! His dating profile said that he was looking for a submissive in the bedroom! How much more submissive can you get than dead?? totally creeped me out.

#3 Circumcision Guy
I actually went on 2 dates with this guy. First date went well, we had a lot in common, i enjoyed myself. second date, halfway through, he tells me that he felt that he had been done a huge disservice by having been circumcised. He equated it to a woman having a breast removed!! I told him that it was not the same, how could he miss something that he couldnt remember having? So he then tells me that he had done research on the internet and had fashioned a contraption out of surgical tape & string that he secured to the skin of his ahem, member and taped the string to his leg. It kept continuous tension on the skin, stretching it. He had created his own faux foreskin!!!!!!!! AND NO I DID NOT SEE IT!

UG, I pray that I have been on my last first date!
beth

OMG! I'm rolling on the ground. Hysterical!

I'm sure I have some doozies, but I don't think I can top circumsism guy! I'll ponder. I have to go back a lot of years for dating stories.

Ha ha...I'm still laughing!!!!

Charlotte

Ohh gross!!!

My worst one was smelly guy, who showed up after hitting balls at the golf course and did NOT take a shower afterward. You'd think if you are meeting someone for the first time, you wouldn't want to smell like bad b.o.

Followed by, let's share our pain guy, who only wanted to talk about his childhood abuse and how he could help me. No thank you!

Alli,
There was one guy who told me that he quit his job so that he wouldn't have to pay child support. I immediately gathered my things and left.
Oh and there was bad cologne guy - bleck

Oh how I miss dating...lmfao.

I ended marrying my last bad date! Believe me, he improved with time.

Our first date (which was blind, by the way) he put his arm around me, walked up to his friend and said "I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend, June". I stared at him, removed his arm, and said "My name is JOAN". (and after 1/2 hour of meeting him I didn't realize I was girlfriend).

27 years later I'm glad I gave him a second chance.

So really, Beth, you should give circumcision guy another chance. Oh, BRAHAHAHAHAHA. Rolling, rolling... I can not stop laughing about that one It amused my co-workers too.

Charlotte

june,
i told the circumcision guy story to my dermatologist recently, he was fascinated.
he kept saying, "you can't make that kind of stuff up" lmao
he told me to call him if i had any other bad dates!!!
my co-workers loved the story too!
beth

I had a bad date many years ago with a guy who kept going on and on about duct / gaffa tape. Freaked me out. He really had a fetish and all I could think was "serial killer, serial killer!!" Going on about the smell of it, its many uses, uses 'in the bedroom'....... He was very difficult to get rid of as he kept calling and wouldn't take no for an answer, telling me I had the 'X factor' and I was his soul mate! Traumatic isn't the word. I've gone cold just recalling it.

Amy

Amy,

I think he was profiled on "Forensic Files" or was it in "One Hundred Uses For Duct Tape"?

All kidding aside, how horrifying!!! You must have been petrified. How did you shake him? (other than gently).

Charlotte

Oh, Beth, too funny!!!

Becky

My favorite is when you finally meet up with the person you have been talking to online and they have greatly misrepresented themselves.

If you question them "wow, you had a full head of hair in your picture" they say stuff like "yeah, that was from when I was in high school".

Because I really care about what you looked like tewenty years ago!!!

I finally got rid of him with a LOT of help from my friends! I was in university accomodation and they used to cover for me and back me up. He was in a hall opposite so knew where I lived and used to drop by ALL the time. I was very blunt with him, but he just didn't get the message. In the end I had an orchestrated conversation with a friend for him to overhear along the lines of, "Won't he ever get the message? Why is he making such a fool of himself!" Drastic and a bit cruel, but it had gone on for weeks. After that he just used to give me evil looks if he saw me in passing, and if I was a bit late home all my friends would worry he'd kidnapped me or something!

Oh....my.....gosh.....those are amazing stories, truly amazingly creepy! I got such a kick out of them, but #3 was truly something, nursebeth.

OMG Beth!

I went on a date once to dinner with a guy, and discovered he would only eat his food in a counter-clockwise rotation around his plate.

I have a morbid curiosity about how the folks who thought we were bad dates would characterize us.

Chris

Oh my...it reminds me of a bunck of bad dates with the weirdest guys.
One for all: a feticist of feet.
This guy spent hours to tell me that he was mad about feet, that for him, the top expression of sexuality was to leak feet (sorry to be so direct, but these were his words).

I quickly got rid of him when I told him that I am a runner and that often my feet have bruises, they are crooked and that my nails often get black and drop.....

Chris, you're right. I also wonder what certain guys might have thought of me.
I still feel guilty for a poor guy I met (it was a blind date) and who was very shy and kind.
I expected someone better looking and instead I met a very short, thin, bad looking guy.
After a few minutes, without giving him explanations, I ran away.
I think I was too embarassed and disappointed to continue to talk.
I have been a very nasty girl, I know....

Bye

I would also love to know what some of the guys thought of me!
One guy did tell me that i was older than he liked, and i never misrepresented my age!

What was amazing to me were the things that men think is appropriate to discuss. Like circumcision guy, I am positive that i didn't bring up the subject of penises!!

I did meet one guy who was sorta cute in his pic, when i met him he barely resembled himself! I suspect the pic was several years old.

I was on a paid dating site, thought it would be better than a free one. But i was constantly amazed at the emails i would get. More than 5 initial emails saying I had bj lips !!! In what universe does that line work?? I couldn't delete those fast enough.
One guy emailed me his address and phone number multiple times - i didn't go.
One cute little 21yo emailed me, I was polite and emailed him back saying thanks, but no thanks. He told me that he had a mother/son fantasy - eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww.

I have met a couple of guys though that the dating thing wasn't in the cards, but we have turned out to be good friends, so it wasnt all for naught
beth

Okay, I had gotten the "bedroom eyes" line, but never bj lips! Just the "bedroom eyes" is creepy as an opening line (or any line until you've been dating quite awhile!).

The reason I went out with hubby again was because he was so sweet and shy and DIDN'T try to kiss me after the first date. He just stared at the steering wheel and kind of stammered. After so many dates of being mauled, it was refreshing!

Charlotte

eeeeeeeeeewww. bj lips? What a creepy way to try to compliment someone. What do some men think? Are the thinking?? Not witht he big head, that's for sure!

Gee, Beth, at least the funeral home guy would have a few appropriate suits to wear on a date! LOL

Gosh, other than meeting my husband back in '97 and our courtship, my last date was my first husband back in '82. We went to see "First Blood" (The first Rambo movie) and "Tootsie" at the movies but I don't remember which was first.

I know I did go out with a guy who took me to my regular "watering hole" and I gravitated toward a cute guy I had an on and off relationship with. I don't remember which one brought me home (not because of too much alcohol....just because it's been so long my memory has faded). I was a really terrible person on that date. I deserved to be hated for that one.

Those dates you all have described sound like guys who get their dating tips from pornographic movies. It amazes me that so many men think that disgusting or perverted comments (BJ lips?) are a turn on to women. Maybe they are at Hugh Heffner's grotto but not in the real world.

And Foreskin guy really needs some mental help. That was completely weird. I hope he doesn't reproduce!

£eslie

Leslie,
Sadly Circumcision Guy has already reproduced!

A couple of times in high school one of my friends and I would be on a double date and we would switch guys halfway through the date lol.

beth

Bummer....circumcision guy.

Thanks for sharing the "swapping dates" story....made me feel better about myself!

I never liked the whole "dating" thing anyway. I had given up on that approach years ago. In fact, I gave up on finding someone compatible years ago. I decided that I would go about my business, do what I liked to do If in that process I happened to find someone I hit it off with, great. And if not, that was perfectly fine too. I was so busy with activities that I liked that I forgot all about dating and "meeting someone".

You probably can guess, I met my partner doing what I like to do. He has the same interest so we first became coffee shop pals and things developed from there. Neither one of us had any expectations of a relationship. We were just pals sharing mutual interests. There was none of that appraisal stuff that always goes on during a date. It always felt to me that I was on a job interview rather than participating in a fun outing. Then's there's all the embarrassment around who pays for what. Ack! Not for me.

Chris

I have been emailed a pre-date questionare prior to a past first date. It was both hilarious and insulting. I didn't go on that date. lol

OMG...I'm dying laughing!!!