Help please !!! desperate toget back to work but don't know how.

After doing everything I can to get fit enough to get back to my old job I am stuck somewhere in the middle of allright. I am told by my back to work advisor that if I am not fit I shouldn't be thinking of it, but I will go mad if I don't do something, especially if this is as good as I am going to get and that i will end up waiting forever to get better.

I have tried explaining you don't actually get better from this you just work out a way of managing it.

The way to return to work is doing supply teaching and the driving is enough in itself.

I have to earn enough if I go back to support the household myself, so no pressure.

I can't work out wether this is just the usual fear you have of going back to work after a while off, or wether this is a real issue and I'm heading for a great big failure.

I have thought I could go back before and then things have gone horribly wrong, so nothing is out there to convince me otherwise.

Sorry this is such a confused post.

Di

Ronda's is amazing, not the least because here we discover that our experience is not unique ... here we learn that others have traveled the road we find so challenging at the moment.

You write about disabling migraine being a disease we learn to manage. I would take that one huge step further ... our challenge as disabled migrainers is to learn to manage our lives in a fulfilling manner within the confines migraine places on us.

The single most fulfilling experience in life is participation in a warm, supportive, and loving family.

BUT the second and very important path to personal fulfillment is to be employed. Not simply for the paycheck (though I miss that) but also simply to "out there" ... having important things to do, intracting with others, solving problems. It is a vital component for mature adults in this day and age. And I am including the vital work of homemaking in this category as well. It is so important to believe that what you are doing matters. To the company, to colleagues, to your friends and family.

One of the very worst side effects of disabling migraine for me is boredom. Nothing bores me more than my quiet, dark, room. chronic pain is utterly boring. I hate it. I simply have to be "out there" in some sense ... even if it is simple interaction here.

I was where you are. I wanted to work ... desparately ... but I simply could not. I have been doing so well this summer, that I proposed to teach a class this fall and spring at a local community center ... I wanted to be useful and thought I could handle it. Recent migraine episodes demonstrated to me, once again, that I simply cannot follow thru on committments I want to make. I refuse to set myself up to let others down. So yesterday I un-proposed my project.

I FULLY understand your desire to return to work as you used to work. Worthy goal - there is great dignity in all work.

However, your counselor is telling you that you are likely setting yourself up for failure ... and every failure really sucks big time for us migrainers.

You know yourself that past attempts to work within the confines of your disease have failed ... or so you write.

But you still WANT to work ... you WANT to get out there ... you want not only a paycheck but also all the normal human ideals of solving problems, being productive, helping the team effort ... all the GREAT qualities of a job.

BUT realistically, if you return to work, what are the chances of your letting other people down? Sick days, less than your best efforts, etc. What are the chances? Greater than 50%? Is it likely that you will let others down if you return to work?

If so, if you cannot work without hurting others, then it may not be the best idea.

Your challenge, like mine, may be to find the fullfillment of solving problems and interacting with others without emplyment. And it IS a challenge. BUT it can be done. So many disabled people lead amazing lives ... without a paycheck.

Good luck figuring this one out. It took me two years of therapy to get to the place where I could even apply for disability benenfits. But I got there, and I am still alive and kicking.

You CAN figure this one out. hang in there!

Di,

If you can, please try. You'll never know unless you put a good effort into going back.

Work is rewarding--as long as the work environment isn't hostle (in today's world, that's pretty tough).

There are always those that want to abuse the system....but there are many sick people that want to work.

Just try your best.

Good luck!

I've managed to keep working even though at times it seemed too much. I am very lucky in that my bosses are very understanding and we all work together to make our situation work. It is worth the effort even when I come home and just vege for the rest of the day. I feel productive for the part I was able to do and rest up for the next day.

I hope you can get back to work.

Alli