Scared to see the neurosurgeon on July 2

My neurosurgeon scares me. The man himself is frightening. He has be in his 60s. He is quiet, direct, and to the point.

He gives the impression like I am a waste of his time because he installed the shunt that should have solved all my head pain issues, but it hasn't. I last saw him in March 2009 and he told me to lose weight. It has been 16 months, and I have lost 30 pounds.

I have been through 2 shunt setting adjustments. One helped greatly, one did nothing.

I am taking my mom with me for moral support and to be my second set of ears. I don't want to miss anything he says.

This is an office visit to discuss future treatment, options, etc. I am afraid of a few things.

I am afraid he will want to do more brain surgery (summer of 2008 he did brain surgery and I had severe complications including bleeding in my brain). I don't want this man anywhere near my brain again. He can replace the shunt, as long as it's still the LP shunt. I will not go for the VP shunt. He may want to do intracranial pressure monitoring, which I have big time reservations about (again, we're talking invasive brain action). He may suggest losing more weight, which I will agree with (I can stand to lose another 15 pounds), but that will dissappoint me, as though he's still dismissing me as a "weight case".

In any case, I am afraid of him, and afraid of what he is going to say during the appointment. Just wanted to vent a little of my anxiety.

I'm glad your mom is going with you, Lynelle. Sometimes it's hard to pipe up and voice our needs, apphrension and concerns because it's so personal and we're just trying to absorb what is being said. I think your doctor needs to hear your concerns.

I really empthathize with you, but I will be thinking of you and I hope it goes well and the outcome is positive for you.

Lynelle,

Do you have the option of seeing a different neurosurgeon? For me it's so important to have a good relationship with my Dr. One who understands my fears and concerns. I told my GP that I fear needles in my back so he referred me to pain clinic that would "twilight" me for my back injections.

I have left Drs offices before because of that attitude. I went to a surgeon once who waltzed into the room very late, never acknowledged my presence and started poking and prodding. I asked him what he was doing and he said "I'm trying to decide whether to operate or not". Ummm...that is MY decision, not yours and I want to be involved in the decision making process. I never went back to him.

That being said, my Mom used to be a nurse. She said that neurosurgeons were the worst to work with because they thought they were God. Fortunately when I saw a neurosurgeon for my back about ten years ago he was very kind. Now, granted he told me there was nothing that could be done surgically for my back, but I appreciated his candor and approach. So, good neurosurgeons are out there!

I'm also sensing that you're afraid of not only of him, but what he's going to say. What a terrible sense of dread that must be. If he does want to operate, please get a second opinion and not from someone that your current neurosurgeon recommends!

I'm glad your Mom is able to go with you. It always helps when hubby is able tog o with me to my appts.

Congratulations on the weight loss. That alone will make him happy.

Thinking of you and hoping for the best outcome for you. I know it's hard to sort through it all.

Cheryl

Thanks for the replies.

I have tried finding a new neurosurgeon, and found no one else wants to clean up what someone else has started, so I am stuck.

I will let you all know how it goes on Friday.

Lynelle, it looks like you are on the right track. You have lost 30 pounds, and if he says to lose more weight, be sure to let him know the progress you have made, to prove to him that you are truly trying to follow his orders. I had to do that with my gastro when he blamed my GERD on weight.

I also think that taking your mother is really smart. I always try to take an advocate for me whenever seeing a new doctor or one who intimidates me. I always have to have someone go with me to see my sleep neurologist, as the man makes me cry every time, with his directness and insistence that I shouldn't be on so much medicine. It helps a lot to have someone else for moral support and to be there to fight for me if needed. Also, if there is reason for complaint, it's good to have a witness as well (I needed my mom for that once when writing a complaint against the doctor who encouraged me to kill myself).

I hope your appointment goes well!

Congratulations on your weight loss...never easy! Hope your appt. goes better than those before.

Supporting You,

Now I have this pulling, popping, and stretching sensation where my shunt is (in my lower back) and I fear he is going to blame me if something is wrong with it, plus, I am afraid he will want to do something surgical to fix it! Ahhhhh!

Fear times ten!

Without knowing all of your circumstances I would still change docs, even if it might delay some things. You must have complete and total confidence, comfort and trust in a doc and most certainly if surgery is involved. What they project onto you is most often a restrained or muffled version of what they really feel and think about you. So if the "tip of the iceberg" scares you then you can only imagine what is under the water.

And IMHO a neurosurgeon should not be making any judgments about your weight. To me that would be a bright red flag.

But at the end of the day we have to just trust our gut. And bringing your mom is a very good idea.

I just don't have any tolerance left for As&^% docs. Health problems are challenging enough even with great docs.

Carrying extra weight very likely increases intracranial pressure in IH patients, and so that is the reason for his concern about weight. It is very common and probably necessary for neurosurgeons to address weight issues in IH patients because it usually contributes to their disease process.

You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find a new neurosurgeon to take an IH patient who has already been shunted. What makes it more difficult for Lynelle is that she had life threatening complications, following her last surgery. Neurosurgeons are a tough group. It is a tough situation!

Cheryl

I hava a major anxiety issue with doctors, exams, tests, hospitals.
As soon as I see a white coat I get nervous and scared.
Soooo.... the better the doctor is, the better I feel.
I could NEVER see a neuro like the one that you describe. His cure would fail on me and I would feel bad all the time.

I would immediately change doctor, no matter if this one is the best on earth.
For me the best doctor is the one who has good medical skills but also good interpersonal skills. I must feel relaxed and at ease with a doctor apart from feeling in good hands.

Take care