Question about pushing through

I was just wondering...when I was in college and grad. school I often would push through migraines to keep up with things. I still do, but see that they have never eased up (and are maybe worse), I find I have less energy to keep doing that.

Has anyone else experienced this as they get older?

Just curious...

Angel

Oh, yeah! I pushed through for many, many years, but I would end up on the couch with nothing left for my family when I got home. I had a thinking job, and found that I was unable to think, concentrate, remember and make decisions which were important to my job. I found it harder and harder to make it through a whole or even part of a day at work.

Eventually my migraines progressed to the point they are now chronic (here all the time at some intensity level varying from 5 to 10). Sometimes I wonder if I should have let up more and relaxed, if maybe that would have prevented the progression to this point. I'm now on disability.j

I hope so much you do not end up at this point. Please take care of yourself.

Not really.
When I was very young I used to vomit A LOT during migraine, so I was obliged to quit whatever I was doing and lay down in bed. Often, I vomited even before the real pain arrived. It was awful.

Now migraine are more "pain and nausea" and I can resist for hours even if I really feel lousy.

Becky,

Thank you for your kind words. Right now I'm trying to find better ways to take care of myself in a stressful work situation that doesn't seem to leave much room for flexibility. Sorry to hear you're on disability, but happy to hear you got it (I hear it can take years to get approval). Yeah that's what I'm afraid of actually. My migraines have always been bad (my "average" migraine 5 years ago lasted for 3 days, 3 days of aura and 2 days bad head pain). Now several times a year one will last for a week. And then this month I've had 18 days of migraine. Very bad.

So I might as well admit it...sometimes it scares me coming on this message board (and you guys have been kind wonderful), but it scares me because I'm afraid this is just going to keep getting worse like it has for some of you.

Currently I'm in this crazy residency program as a hospital chaplain, and I'm working 60 hours a week (it's part student and part job). I see some really awful things every day. I love working with the families, but since it's ending in August I am really stressed. I am looking for a job, which is like having a second job, but am definitely looking for an option that is more migraine friendly.

I just got sent home from work because I threw up. I really thing it's a migraine because my period just started, but I guess a stomach virus is going around. It's just sad because I have so few sick days left.

Ivy,

I know what you mean. I push through too (like 98% of the time), and I work through week long migraines even, but I just am finding there's no energy left to push sometimes.

Angel

Hi Angel

Sounds like you are wondering what your endurance will be like as you grow older. Well, there is some good news. First off, there are technical advances being made so there is hope for you that there may be a cure in your lifetime, but failing that for now......

You will learn by your own experiences to listen to your body and know the warning signs of when you should or could. The consequences will be increased pain. You will become very sensitive to your body and start to read signs so there will be less times when you are pushing through, and more times where you are preparing for and regulating yourself. It won't always be easy but routine is your friend. I think that as long as you keep yourself healthy and eat regularily and the proper foods, and make sure you get the 8 hours of sleep you need, you will have the stamina.

What helps me is a calender where I tick off the migraine days and my cycles and I see the pattern. This way I don't always have to think about it, yet I see what is/could be coming and it helps me make plans.

Migraine life seems boring, but it kept me from being an alcoholic!

Congradulations on being the Hopsital Chaplain!.

Angela

Good luck on the job hunt. I really wish you well there.

Pushing through? I really can't. An episode is a game stopper for me. Just can't push through confusion, inability to speak clearly, can't think clearly, can't walk or move correctly - nope, just can't push through.

But my oh my, what tremendous admiration I have for you folks who keep going through the pain. My hat's off to you!

As to spending time today worrying about one's capacity a year from now ... well, such exercise is a tremendous waste of time. Huge waste of time and precious life energy. Why? You just cannot know - so why worry?

Three years ago I was in an extremely happy marriage, my darling daughter lived in Alaska, I was taking handfuls of pills each day but still disabled. Now, my husband is dead, my daughter worked in South Korea for over year, and I am only taking pain pills. (and still very much disabled) Things I could NOT predict happened. My life took turns neither foreseen nor desired ... but here I remain still kicking.

So today, spend your energy on today's tasks .... working hard at a meaningful job, loving your family memebers as best you can, using your resources wisely, and looking for a job. The time and precious energy used to worry about your capacity a year, a decade from now could be used to write a letter to an old friend or to pick up the phone and speak with a beloved family member or other loved one. Much better use of time and precious energy.

BTW - I applied for Social Security disability in March 2002 for migraine. My first benefit check arrived in July 2002. Four months from application to check. So sometimes it DOES take years to win and sometimes it doesn't.

"Pushing through? I really can't. An episode is a game stopper for me. Just can't push through confusion, inability to speak clearly, can't think clearly, can't walk or move correctly - nope, just can't push through."

Yeah this is where I'm at I think. I can push through the pain almost always (I really have a very high pain tolerance), but sometimes my ability to push through is a little bit scary....like sometimes I think .....this really shouldn't be normal??!

So anyways. My latest thought on pushing through. I used to get blurred vision and tunnel vision as one of my main auras, but I could adapt, because I would just use my periferal vision when it happened. But then about three years later I started getting blind spots in my field of vision that would move, to the point where I actually had to stop what I was doing until it went away about twenty minutes later. Then about a year after that I started getting visual auras where I couldn't see well enough to walk or move around...now that was scary . And it usually lasted for 45 min.

Anyways, same thing with the trouble thining/ understanding. Usually if I give myself permission to take me time, or make a list and work at my brains pace, I can cope through the work day. However, lately my brain just blanks. Kind of like my blind spot that got so bad I couldn't walk, now my thinking gets so bad I can't review what was said to make sense of it. It just doesn't make sense, and I don't remember. It's scary.

But then I'm thinking things will adapt and change. I guess at least it's never boring! I just hope for patient co-workers who are willing to work with me on my bad days, and who understand if I need to go home.

Take care,

Angel