How do you have a conversation with a loved one?

This was a subject that came up in another thread. What I am meaning by this is how do you tell those who care the most for you about what is going on? Or do you?

I find that I don't let those close to me know how bad things are. If they ask, I will say something to the effect of oh pretty good even if I'm at a level 8. My boyfriend, I don't think he comprehends how bad things are - he lives far enough away that our daily conversations are either on the phone or on-line. I know this is me, and I've told him things can get pretty bad and he's understanding and doesn't seem put off by it...but there's a distance factor right now. What I broad cast through my voice or written word and how I look are too different things - the non-visual are much easier to hide.

I know everyone has differing situations, but is there a better way to deal with this? I think subconsciously we are trying to protect them or ourselves by not saying anything but I wonder if this is helpful or hurtful....

I rarely go into details, even with people closest to me. Including the people I live with. I'm just used to people not understanding, I don't want to keep describing things over and over. I've found words aren't really adequate anyway. I can make analogies - and I do, ie., my head feels like its being squeezed in a vice from the inside and the outside at the same time - but I usually just get a blank stare, a nod and "uh huh" before the person goes on with whatever they're doing or saying.
IME, People just can't wrap their own head around chronic pain that doesn't have a specific cause, and therefore something that can be treated and cured. Eventually, they don't want to hear about it any more. So I just don't go into it anymore.

Great Thread! Perfect timing for me, as I am just starting to get to this point.

I have only really been battling M for 2 1/2 yrs, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It made a huge impact on everything and things were a whirlwind for a long time (med trials, new symptoms, etc.). People were really interested and supportive and asking questions and suggesting things and worried.....until umpteen tests and scans and meds and doctors laters...and no answer and same complaints. Now I am getting much less sympathetic/supportive responses, and am therefore consciously changing how much I share.

Plus I have here A place 24/7 ...where people really really get it and care and support me. The other people can't support me b/c they don't understand. And I only get hurt when I feel like they don't get it or don't believe it or don't support it....so it doesn't benefit anyone.

I don't share anything with anyone anymore unless they ask me directly IE: How did your neurologist appointment go? What tests are you taking soon? How have your migraines been? Ect.

I find that after a while people just don't want to listen. Besides that they don't get it and my family just think I make it up and talk about me behind my back. I pretend like I don't have migraines around them now. It's hard but it's something I have to do to avoid the stress of "family discussions" which are really just my entire family batting me down about what pills I take and how I shouldn't have to take anything more than advil for a migraine.

This is where I go when I need support. It is the ONLY place I have. Thanks for that. You all have saved my sanity...