Why are we embarrassed over things we cant help?

A lady on TV with awful facial hair problem is so embarrassed she has almost become a hermit.
Why do we become so embarrassed by things beyond our control?
Is it society? I guess it is. In England heaven help the woman who doesnt shave her "pits".
But in many other countries it isnt a problem and even applauded.

I can see being embarrassed for things we do, or dont do, but things like this ladies problem.
The way we look, the shape of our nose....whatever....
Kids are really cruel to each other, maybe we just keep it cooking.

I got teased in school for the bump in my nose. (broke it on a bumper car)
It made me very self conscious for a long time....yes it embarrassed me.
But it wasn't my fault, though that didn't seem to matter.
Now I never even think about it.

My son was embarrassed to be 6ft at 13 and his weight hadn't caught up with him.
He got teased. He gradually filled out and of course left school.
But he is still embarrassed by his height and he's 6ft 5 now...

Is it peer pressure thing, or too much media?
It doesn't seem right to be embarrassed by things you have no control over.

Pen,

I agree - I think we get teased about things as kids and it just follows us through life. I've always been very self-conscious of my smile - I required braces and have had other dental issues. Part of it is the media as well - at least here in the states. Here all we see are the picture perfect models and that is what all girls are supposed to aspire to be. It's taken me to be in my late 20's before I accepted me for me and was happy with the body I have.

Now those that don't like me for whatever reason can get over it. I like me and if you don't well then that's your problem.

Becky

It's been shown that most people make up their mind if they find you attractive or like you within seconds of seeing someone new. We all do it and subconsciously know everyone else does it to us. So I think that is why we have appearance issues. But we also have the capacity to give people time to let them grow on us for who they are.

It's just that concern over the split second impression we give people when they first see us. The media only makes it worse with using only attractive people who seem flawless. And commercials with women who appear to have perfect faces and figures. They do that on purpose to encourage the self consciousness we all have to try look better.

With an eleven year old daughter my wife and I are constantly talking with her about appearances and the unrealistic people we see on TV and movies. That she will have some characteristic that both mom and dad have that she inherited and to not be self conscious about them.

And we do see and read about ultra attractive people that still think they are not. Many of the very attractive women I know are loaded with issues and are so manic about their appearance that it engulfs their lives completely. They are not fun to be around because all they talk about is tanning, expensive clothing, their nails, thinking about getting bigger boobs, or hair extensions, or botox, or the latest whacked out diet craze they are struggling with. They 100% self absorbed and end up not caring much about anything else.

I stopped going to the gym because of all the shallow self absorbed guys there. They are manic about their physique and that is their entire life, getting bigger and more ripped at all cost. I starting realizing that they are building a protective shell around their empty fragile inside. Their physique is a costume that hides their low self esteem and vulnerabilities.

Our culture would be so farther advanced if we spent more time working on our inner selves, character and issues.

More than ever, we live in a society were a lot of people are superficial. Were I`m from, it`s very pervasive. Money, dress, who has what and how you look,etc.

Where I live now, it`s not that bad. It`s unfortunate that our society has become so artificial.

I'm also in an area where people are far more interested in who you are over how you look.

Brent wrote:I'm also in an area where people are far more interested in who you are over how you look.

Sounds great to me. I am so sick of people being judgemental over "differences".
Look right, think the same or get criticised.
Its almost controlling.

Sounds great where you live Brent.