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Horrfying facts about violence against women

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Horrfying facts about violence against women Empty Horrfying facts about violence against women

Post  Mini Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:02 am

I was truly shocked to read these facts provided by the WHO, about the level of violence againts women by their partners all over the world, and this includes countries which are economically most advanced.

I had not idea that it is those nearest and dearest who as a rule do the killing and  abusing in such very high numbers.

Indeed it is truly an epidemic.
I suppose as men feel more and more powerless, they keep blaming  women for their own failings and in this  often the way that they try to justify the abuse and killings.
Violence is never justified, let alone against people who are more physically weak.

We see it on the pages of our newspapers every day, but we always think of such cases as something rare. Obviously it is not. BUt it is enought to read the figures  in this article to see what the trues pcture is.

This is not an uplifting reading, but well worth knowing all the same:

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Horrfying facts about violence against women Empty Thanks for informing us

Post  Mishkyn Mon Feb 10, 2014 6:06 pm

Dear Mini,
I am so glad you posted this epidemic, which I believe has been a serious problem for a long time rather than a recent development. I think that as women feel more supported by society in general, and as laws are being changed in their favor, they are finally speaking up.

In the 70's, when I was in my early 20's, women who were raped were put on trial. A friend of mine hailed a taxi outside a major hotel in Chicago where she had been visiting a relative who had come into town for a visit. The cab driver took her to an alley where she as blocked in on 3 sides and raped her.

During her trial, her underpants, that had a leopard skin pattern, were pinned onto a board and set up on an easel in front of the jury. Her attorney objected, of course, but the judge ruled that it was totally relevant for the jury to view underwear that the driver could not even see on my friend because it was an issue of her "character."

There was no DNA then, but his blood work was a match, she also had severe vaginal bruising, blood and skin under her fingernails, horribly swollen eyes, cheeks, bruises all over her body which were photographed and presented to the jury.

To my astonishment, the jury chose to believe the driver who insisted my friend asked him to find a spot to have sex in as her boyfriend had been a disappointment that night and she was hot for "it".

Unfortunately this was not an isolated incident, it happened to women all the time, which is why so many women refused to press charges. It took decades for a woman's past sexual history to be ruled inadmissible in court. But someone who had been convicted multiple times of assault, robbery, drunk driving and many other felonies was given a pass and NO past crimes could be introduced in court.

However, if a woman was not a virgin, or she did not have enough defensive bruises---because a gun or knife was being held against her neck, the jury often ruled the sex was consensual.

Also, accusations of domestic abuse were rarely ever prosecuted. Wives could be photographed with a face and body full of bruises, and have a record of calling for police help numerous times, yet they almost never won in court. Again, any rumor of "impropriety" by the woman was admissible in court. But nothing about the husband's or boyfriend's past was allowed to be introduced. Even if he had a record of beating up multiple women.

District Attorneys of every state would go to their state legislatures and beg for the laws permitting the introduction of this type of information at trial to be changed. Year after year they were refused. Finally the laws were changed, but I was stunned at how many decades it took. Every criminal was protected so much more than any female victim of rape or domestic abuse.

Now that women are wining more in the courtroom, and District Attorney's were not telling the women, "I could never win your case, your neighbor says you had an affair, and laws have been changed, women are finally feeling safer about telling the truth about what goes on behind closed doors.

Plus, as much as it pains me to say it, I cannot tell you how many women I know and am friendly with, have given a pass to a celebrity accused of rape, saying things like, "I think it was just aggressive sex and the woman was not used to that." This was not 30 years ago, it was recently. If women I consider modern and rational and even women who have had terrible domestic abuse problems in their own marriages can say these things a few months ago, no wonder so many women were and are still afraid to confide their private terrors.

I believe it has been an epidemic for a very long time, and I believe we only know about a small amount of the women being abused verbally and/or physically. My niece works in a center that helps battered women, and her stories make me so terribly sad for the way too women live.

I personally lived in such a situation for several years. The man involved had a drinking problem and a horrid upbringing. He would constantly beg for another chance, "you grew up in a loving family, help me to learn that please." He even went to rehab, but began drinking soon after finishing the program. One therapist I went to, when I was talking about having compassion for him told me, "Compassion is what got you into this situation in the first place."

I then learned the golden rule: "If he hits once, he's a hitter. " It is one of the rarest things in this world for a man to hit his partner one time.

'Thanks again, Mini, for bringing up this topic. And I have gone on preaching long enough, it is just that I have such terrible memories of illegal abortions, women so obviously beaten and raped, and actually being told by District Attorneys elected to defend them, "Don't bother to press charges, I'll be laughed at if I take this to court." And still it is news that this is an epidemic when it should be realized that this has been going on probably forever.
Been away too long, nice to check in,


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Post  Mini Fri Feb 14, 2014 2:42 pm

How good to see you name here again, Mishkyn,  I do remember your name from years ago, and still recall that your rare posts were always worth following.

I was so moved by what you said about violence against women.
You say:
"In the 70's, when I was in my early 20's, women who were raped were put on trial".

I am afraid in most countries, including US and UK this is still very  true today.
Maybe not in such an obvious way, but lawyers defending rapist have just become better (more sophisticated) at bullying women and juries or judges, to assure that their clients go usually free

Women, even children raped are still being put through very traumatic process and only recently a woman who was repeatedly abused when studying music, by her teacher, and who has at last had a courage to press charges, was treated so appallingly by the court system, that she has killed herself, at the end of the trial.
This is far from an unusual occurrence.

It is a common knowledge that women going through the court process here after reporting rape, often comment that they felt raped twice, the second time was by the legal profession.

Did you know that in UK, only about 2% of all reported rapes, end up in a criminal conviction?

It seems that men are still waging a war against women, and surprising little is changing.

I am so sorry to hear that you have also suffered such abusive treatment. When I hear of such stories I feel like crying. And then I get very, very angry.

Thank you so much, Mishkyn for your contribution, I am sure it was not easy to talk about it, not even after all these years so I appreciate it very much.

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