Missing my folks

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Missing my folks

Post  Paradox on Sat Apr 03, 2010 9:44 pm

When my mother passed away 14 years ago, my Dad's health deteriorated very quickly. They lived in a distant city and my sister and I had to fly out, pack up the house and put it on the market in less than two weeks to relocate my dad to live with me.

Things were hastily thrown into boxes to be sorted though "later". Unfortunately, I've always had a very large basement so "later" never came. Every time I tried to go though things I would get emotional and stop.

Hubby and I are contemplating moving and I can't see moving all those boxes again. My son came home for the weekend to help me go through things. His fiance is helping. We have three areas: keep, sell, toss.

Most of the stuff are no-brainers...tax returns from 1977-1998. Cancelled checks. But, I still can't get myself to part with some of the little things. I didn't realize my Dad called my Mom "Charlie Ann" (her name was Charlotte, hence my pseudonym). I found it scribbled on little notes, none important just that he was running to the grocery store. And seeing his affectionate nickname for her of "Dooka", which I believe means "girl" in Swedish.

For many years my folks did not have a good marriage, but seeing these little jottings makes me realize there was still love there. Pages and pages of gin rummy scores, I can picture them sitting at the table, both drinking Tasters Choice, smoking away, playing gin rummy or cribbage (fifteen-two, fifteen-four, and no more).

I found correspondence between my Mother and her sisters from when my Grandmother was dying in 1965 and we had moved up to Michigan so my Mom could do hospice. It made me want to write more letters for my kids, they won't have copies of my email's.

Just ruminating...it's been a hard night.
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Paradox

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Re: Missing my folks

Post  tecky on Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:28 am

Oh, Charlotte, I feel for you. These sentimental items, while they may not seem like much to others, can be so precious after our loved ones are gone.

My dad has been gone 15 years now, and I still wish I could pick up a phone and call him for his opinion. Although he had only an 8th grade formal education, he was the most intelligent and common-sense man I've known.

I hope you find more jewels in your sorting, and that you're able to be as pain free as possible to enjoy what you find and spending time with your family while you're at it. Take care.

Becky flower
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Re: Missing my folks

Post  Kate on Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:43 am

I know what you mean. At times, I miss my grandmother. I still have a couple of letters that she wrote to me. I wish I kept more of them. I have other things but for some reason the letters mean the most because it`s her words on paper.

Kate

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Re: Missing my folks

Post  Paradox on Sun Apr 04, 2010 8:09 am

Becky,

For the first time in several weeks I didn't sleep well and today I have a doozy of a headache. Woke up with monster. I think I'm finding one of my triggers is not getting a good nights sleep.
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Ideas

Post  lesherb on Sun Apr 04, 2010 12:37 pm

Charlotte,

I don't know if you want some ideas on what to do with your mementos but here goes.

Take the notes your parents wrote and decoupage them onto a board (for hanging) or on the lid of a wooden keepsake box.

Another thing you could do is photograph or scan the notes and put them on CD. Then you will always have them. (being sure to keep one or two of the originals).

One more idea is to put one in a picture frame behind glass. Then display it in your bedroom (if it is a romantic note) or even on the wall in your kitchen (especially if it's a note with a list of items needed from the store).

I hope this gives you some ideas on how to save these things for posterity.

I miss my Dad so very much (almost 21 years now). I wish he had met my husband. I know they would've gotten along so well.

I am so glad your parents met. It is lovely knowing you are in the world!

£eslie
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Re: Missing my folks

Post  Stillhurtin on Sun Apr 04, 2010 9:05 pm

I'm a few days late, but I'm sorry to gear you were down in the dumps Sad
memory lane can be so bitter sweet.

Hope you are feeling better- Leslie had some great ideas!!!
Let me know if you need anything!

Jess
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