My sons Surviving bullying interview.

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My sons Surviving bullying interview.

Post  kathy on Tue Feb 28, 2012 8:38 am

http://www.thepostnewspapers.com:80/results/bullying-Medina-1-14--miller- Ryan's interview about life after bullying.

My son was bullied from 5th grade thru 12. He was bullied on graduation night at Dairy Queen right in front of me! I found I am definately a tiger mom in that moment! We have had a couple bully related suicides in Medina County and I asked Ryan if he wanted to do an interview and tell kids there is life after bullying. Give them hope. He didn't hesitate.

Protect your child :
1- Make sure your child knows where the cameras are in the schools. Ryan learned this and 90% of the bullies were caught on video. They would run to the principal and say Ryan did this or that. Video up, bully suspended. The bullies didn't learn, they did it over and over! Sad isn't it?
2-Know the self defense policy at your school. Ryan was working toward college from age 12 so when he started getting beat up at high school I asked the house principal if he would be suspended for self defense. He said yes!! So Ryan was a punching bag because he didn't want a suspension on his transcript. A different house principal said self defense is fine!? He didn't risk fighting back.
3- Don't ever expect a parent to apologize or make their child apologize and take responsibility. He got one apology because the principal at the middle school had the parents call with their home owners ins since Ryan had orthodontics and the kid bloodied his mouth. They asked their son why he hit him and he said everyone else was so I did. He didn't know Ryan. One kid beat him on the back in the hallway Ryan couldn't breathe he was hit so hard. Another kid would put a dirty sock on his head when the teacher turned her back. An 11th grader! He didn't know the kid.
When the principal asked why they beat on him they said it was because he was smart they didn't like him answering questions in class and getting A's.

He quit participating in class and teachers were concerned. We explained he gets beat up if he does. In his senior year the kids wanted to sit near him! They wanted his help. Now in college, with a $17,000 yr. scholarship, making straight A's, the instructors ask him to not answer so fast and give others a chance. He said his self esteem rose. Students request him as a tutor. At Hiram he is with his fellow geeks, nerds.they are all serious students there. (They play D & D in my basement, I call them my nerd herd, and I love them all. ) He is popular, life is good. He is thriving!

Most important if your child tells you he is being bullied take immediate action. Don't hesitate. If they tell you, it IS bothering them and you don't know how much it will take to put them over the edge to suicide. We were a fixture at the school every time Ryan was bullied. At first Ryan said don't go to the principal I'll be tattling. It's not tattling when you are reporting a crime. In the end Ryan said he was glad we had his back. Talk until you find aperson in authority that will help.

We put Ryan in karate so he could defend himself. At the end of middle school a bully knocked him down in tha cafeteria and said don't get back up! Ryan got up and the bully came at him saying I told you not to get up. Ryan used the kids momentum and simply put him on the ground. Barely touching him. The bully started to cry and said I'm telling Mr. Wise, you shouldn't knock people down. Jeez! Principals office-video pulled up and bully suspended. They never learned. When he used karate to put a neighbor kid down after years of beating the kid never bothered him again.
kathy Cool
This post had coverage of the Chardon school shootings. I removed it because it is easy to get a huge negative debate here and I do not want that. Chardon is an hour from us and this is horrible.


Last edited by kathy on Tue Feb 28, 2012 2:41 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : content)

kathy

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Re: My sons Surviving bullying interview.

Post  Mini on Sat Mar 03, 2012 3:08 pm

Thank you for posting and your advice about bullying.
So many young people's lives are devasted by bullying, not only at school but also on internet where ruthless gangs of bullies are allowed to thrive and prosper causing much human misery.



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Re: My sons Surviving bullying interview.

Post  hpilgrim on Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:22 am

Your story reminds me so much of my older son's experience. Most of my kids schooling was done at home, but we had one break when Justin was in the 5th and 6th grade. His experience in middle school (6th grade) was the impetus we needed to go back to home school.

My son was like yours, very smart, but Justin was also small for his age. So he had a bulls-eye on his back in middle school. The principal didn't want to hear my complaints. I put J. in Taekwondo, and things got better - he wore his American Taekwondo t-shirt to school... kids would mouth off about it, but they usually didn't actually touch him after that. Only one kid tried it, and Justin popped him in the mouth. No more bullying. His instructor told him to ignore words, but if someone put their hands on him, do whatever you need to do, and he, the instructor, would come with me to the school :-)

Justin also got great scholarships, and had no problem in college.

I think my mistake was when I put him in public school, I told him not to "hit" anyone. I think the kids picked up on the idea that he wouldn't defend himself. I rescinded that after talking to the Taekwondo instructor...
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