Afraid of becoming a hermit

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Afraid of becoming a hermit

Post  Jewishmother on Fri Jul 01, 2011 9:46 pm

Decided to give my brain a break and stay home where I can control the lights, noise etc... Still had a migraine later in the day but it was not as bad as when I push myself out the door into our over-stimulated world (mostly just aura and didn't feel like I wanted to gouge my eyes out or beat my head against the wall!). It is easier on my brain if I stay home..........just afraid that I will do that more and more often. I own my own business - and my partners are thinking of closing it (partially due to the economy and also b/c I am not able to carry my fair share of the responsibility) and so afraid that once it is gone I will have no reason to leave the house and find it even easier to just stay home. Sorry for rambling........just needed to get it out - is anyone else afraid of becoming too isolated?


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Re: Afraid of becoming a hermit

Post  Tamsha101 on Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:49 am

I am! I used to be very social but now I find myself turning down invitations to a lot of things because of the migraines. Because sleep disturbance is a huge trigger for me, if I do go out I try to be home by 10pm so I'm in bed by 11 like clockwork.

I keep trying to tell myself that I can't let this get me down, I have to try and live a normal life to some extent but it's SO hard! I also am forcing myself to get more involved with sporting events and the news on TV - keeps me in touch with the "real world" a bit.

I totally understand how you feel. This disease sucks!!

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Re: Afraid of becoming a hermit

Post  tortoisegirl on Sat Jul 02, 2011 7:37 pm

I am still managing full time work but I know when the time comes (my health is deteriorating so for me its a when not an if), I will need something to get me out of the house. Volunteer work is the first thing that comes to mind. Plenty of places would be more than happy to have someone come in for even an hour at a time a couple days a week, or even just show up when they are up to it. Get in the car if you need to, to drive to somewhere that you can take a short walk or even just sit and enjoy the view, people watching, etc, to get out. Find a local support group or even a hobby group to meet up with when possible.

There are even websites nowadays which are termed as "meet up" sites...you find groups of people with similar interests and they post when they are going to do what. There are even social activities you can do without leaving your home such as having a book club, potluck (no dishes to do hehe), etc. I think it all comes down to still having something scheduled, but have it be flexible. Have a routine so that you won't allow yourself to lounge around the house and in bed and such (unless its extenuating circumstances)...get up and dressed and such. If someone can't understand that there is a high chance you have to cancel or want to make plans last minute, and it doesn't mean you are being rube, then honestly its not someone you want to be around.

My friends are very understanding that if I go out its usually only committed to last minute, I'm likely to go home early (and skip places like bars, opting for a quiet restaurant to sit and chat), and often prefer to have people over than go to their house so I can just go up and to bed when I need to (and hubby can stay up with the guests), have the menu meet my needs, etc. Best wishes.

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Re: Afraid of becoming a hermit

Post  Jewishmother on Sun Jul 03, 2011 3:19 pm

I appreciate the responses..............I used to be very involved in my community (was once called an imported liberal in our newspaper) but gave that up when the migraines became severe so I could focus what time I had available to spend at my shop. Thinking I made the wrong choice so going to look at volunteer options or at least showing up for community events so I can socialize with other people and feel more in touch. However, I do not drive and live in a small community of 8,000 people so volunteer options and community activities are somewhat limited! But going to put my toe in the water and help with a Fourth of July 5K run tomorrow that I used to organize - baby steps! I do make sure that I get up and moving and even put on a bra most days - thanks for the encouragement!
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Re: Afraid of becoming a hermit

Post  stephgood on Wed Jul 06, 2011 11:11 pm

I know how you feel. I barely left my house for 3 and 1/2 years. I DO NOT WANT YOU TO DO THIS! I felt so awful and everything made me fell worse. However, once I lost touch with society for a long period like that, it was so so hard, daunting, scary, intimidating, to try to go back. My anxiety level sky rocketed.

I learned that you HAVE to do something. You HAVE to be apart of something. I encourage to do the volunteer route. Maybe something with little to no responsibility. I think that would be much less stressful. One thing in my area that has just come up is a mentoring program for kids. It is to help them learn to read better and requires about 2 hours a week. I also live in a very small town, bigger than 8,000, but not much. I totally understand the lack of opportunities! Next year my son and I are going to start at a nursing home, reading or just visiting with residents. I am just waiting for him to get a little older!

I also want to urge you to find something, anything, that brings you joy. Something that you can relish and look forward to. Maybe a book group, or sewing circle? Something that you are into. Maybe even take a class, for personal enrichment, like photography or pottery? Something that gets you interacting. Please take care of yourself! I will be wondering about you! Very Happy
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Re: Becoming a Hermit

Post  Barb21 on Thu Jul 07, 2011 2:38 am

I totally understand! I have suffered from migraines for close to 40 years, wasn't diagnosed until around 1995, then they were just every few months, then went to every few weeks, then every week, eventually every few days, sometimes every day....I won't bore you with my long history, but for the past 2 1/2 years I have had just a horrible time. I used to volunteer for my kids' classrooms and for the Church, was active and social....then for several months my health was so bad I ended up just staying at home waiting for the next migraine to start...sometimes staying in bed until noon or later...it is very easy to fall into that kind of routine...but DO NOT let yourself get stuck in that depressed state of mind. I am now slowly getting back to the way I used to be, after some counseling and tons of support and prayers from family and friends. I am still getting migraines every few days, just had to cancel my daughter's birthday dinner a couple of weeks ago, delay it for a

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Re: Becoming a Hermit

Post  Barb21 on Thu Jul 07, 2011 2:47 am

A week, my family is very understanding...most of the time! We had the birthday dinner the following week, I was ok for part of the day, then the migraine started to build...my family came over, and I had to run to the restroom to vomit, then lie down for 30 minutes, my husband kept the gathering going until I was able to return to the festivities, did not eat dinner, and had to treat with my rescue meds...after everyone went home. So it is so very important to try to plan some sort of outing every few days, get a friend, family member, neighbor to go with you in case you start feeling so bad you can't get home by yourself...for a while my husband did not want me to go anywhere without someone with me..Good luck and keep us posted as to how you are doing..support from other migraine sufferers has helped me over the years!

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