Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

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Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  Aradia on Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:54 am

Hello,

I am new and I have a question. I don't suffer from migraines, but I live with somone who does. I need to know if some of her behavior is normal?

She has auras and sensitiveity to light and sound. i get all of that.

What i don't get is the complete and radical personality change she undergoes when she has a migraine. She slurs her words, stumbles when she walk, is really mean and agitated, walks into things, provokes fights and says the awfulest things. It is horrible.

I know other peole who suffer from migraines and they don't experience this. this personality change goes on for days.

Is this normal?

thanks in advance.

Aradia

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  LG on Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:04 am

I'd have to say yes, but please keep in mind I'm no doctor and I have not seen the situation
at hand.

Slurring your words, bumping into things and stumbling especially when having aura is common.
I get vertigo when I have a bad migraine, which makes me bump into EVERYTHING. Occasionally,
when things get really bad for whatever reason I also slur my words. I never knew until my husband
pointed it out to me.

When I'm in that much pain and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it I turn into a complete
b*tch sometimes. I try not to expecially since I've found this place to vent and release a lot of
energy. Maybe you should let your friend know about this forum..it could be an excellent place for
her to go.

Do you know how some women get really mad during labor at their husbands? Well, it's pretty
much the same idea. My god the pain in your head is so intense you don't care who your yelling
at or what you say, you just want the pain to stop, especially if she gets them frequently and
is fed up with dealing with it. She may feel extremely alone, isolated in her pain, and angry
that it happens to her. Crying or Very sad

Like I said, it may not be anything like what i'm describing and it is a possibility she needs to see
a doctor. She should already be seeing a neurologist to get some medication to control the
migraines (it will definitely change her life, hopefully for the better).

Your a good friend to worry and question, I hope you get the answers you are looking for but
please, this is the internet..it is still a good idea to see a doctor. When it comes to personality
changes, we cannot be there when it happens and it is really advisable to seek medical care
if you are concerned.

Best of luck to you and your friend!

LG

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  Paradox on Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:12 am

At one point about seven years ago, my slurring and stumbling made the Dr's think I had MS. I had a slew of tests to rule that out and other things too.

Also, constant chronic pain makes one a little cranky. I know I'm not the nicest person to be around when I'm hurting.

If your friend hasn't, it's important to have a medical profession evaluate to rule out other possibilities.

You're a good friend.

Charlotte

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  tecky on Thu Jan 14, 2010 8:30 am

My husband would tell you that I'm not the easiest to be around when the migraines are bad (heck, even I don't like me then). I'd say it's very much a personality change and way beyond one's control. The changes in the brain during a migraine affect just about every bodily movement and function.

Please encourage your friend to see a doctor.

Hugs to you, because it's not easy seeing someone you care about go through migraines and all the changes they bring about.

Becky

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  sailingmuffin on Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:40 am

Hi and welcome,

The auras, sensitivity to light and sound are normal. I also slur my words during a migraine; sometimes I forget the alphabet (I know that I need an "A" in a word, but can't pick it out.) I also occasionally have double vision-could explain walking into stuff. As to personality changes, that can be due to pain. My roommate says that I am hard to live with sometimes because of migraine.

Has she seen a neurologist for this? I hope she has some medication as well. The personality changes could also be from some medications- there are a few that my roommate hates because they can make me mean. If the personality changes are severe- you might want to talk to her about it when she doesn't have a migraine- that way she could be a little aware of it or at least bring it up when she sees her neurologist.

It sounds like you are a great roommate and a wonderful friend. Feel free to type anytime.


Pain free days,
sailingm

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  alli on Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:59 am

unfortunately, yes this is normal. I lose my balance, walk into walls, slur my words, forget words... and if the pain is really bad, I can be a real beyatch. I also get extremely, irrationally irritable BEFORE some migraine attacks. It is part of the prodome and a warning to myself that one is coming. It's happened enough times now, that I can catch myself and at least warn people that I'm being irrationally
beaytchy.

It's really hard to be around people when you are in that much pain. I usually take myself off into my room and hole up til I feel better and able to be around people without snapping their heads off.


Is she on a preventative or arbortive to help reduce attacks? If not, maybe suggest when she does NOT have a migraine to see a neurologist who specializes in migraines.

Alli

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  Kate on Thu Jan 14, 2010 4:43 pm

If I`m in the beginning of a good one coming on, I get very short and irritable. If I`ve had a really bad one for 2-4 weeks, then I blow my top. I can only be patient for so long.

Kate

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  AngelTree on Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:40 pm

I also slur my words, get double vision, have been tested for MS, and have weird mood swings pre-migraine. For a while I thought I was having some sort of anxiety attacks, then realized it was my migraine aura.

I've also had my share of tripping over curbs, and both down AND up stairs.

A good friend can tell when I have a migraine based on my behavior. It's kind of unnerving for me.

Oh, and most recently I was diagnosed with something called a confusional migraine, which when reading about them, it says that the aura can actually include being aggitated etc. So I think what you're describing is possible...

But like others have said, there are other causes for these symptoms, so it would be best to encourage your friend to see/find a neurologist.

Angel

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  Stillhurtin on Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:41 pm

At work the girls I am friends with refer to this as " uh-oh, is this headache Jessica today?"

and my husband, um he has lots of different terms for it, depending on how far I've pushed it! Lol

if you lived w these bad boys, that part of it actually makes the MOST sense.
It's a sort of hell. We have to blow off steam sometimes or we'll fry!!

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bad temper in migraine aura stages

Post  dizzyflower on Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:08 am

When i first started getting the aura symptoms it felt like my brain wasn't making connections properly and the frustration of it made me really bad tempered as i stuggled for words like chair or cup, not complicated stuff. Some of it reminded me of the way my Gran got when she was really porly after something went wrong at the base of her brain a year before she died. i was too young to understand what had happened to her, but I remember the frightenning personality change.

For me this did get better when I discovered that the more I fought it, the worse it seemed to be. Somehow I learned to manage it more but it took a long time and a lot of patience from those around me.

You must be really caring to be doing so much research about this. Working together and feeling OK to discuss it when your friend is OK to think things through is half the battle. For me one of the worst things was that my husband and I were both trying to find answers, and my husband would ask questions as if because it was happening to me I should understand what was happening, but I didn't, which put me under a lot of stress.

I wish you all the best and if you have more questions please feel free to ask.

Di

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ps

Post  dizzyflower on Fri Jan 15, 2010 6:12 am

I am known for being extremely polite and not swearing. I have shocked myself a few times at the things I have said at home fortunately and the anger at being trapped sometimes inside my body not able to get about even in the house. The worst being during some medications which changed me totally.

hope this helps

Di

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  Ivy on Fri Jan 15, 2010 8:18 am

Unfortunately it's true.
This is one of the worst complication of migraine. It affects personal life and makes relations more difficult, especially in the beginning.

Time will help.
The sufferer will help to recognize the attack and abort it quickly and will also learn to avoid fights and to postpone discussions and anything else to a better moment.
The people who live with sufferers, on their hand, will learn to take the tension caused by the disease for what it is and not as personal attacks.

It's good that you've understood that the personality change in a migraine sufferer is due to the illness, this will help you both. Believe me, migraine is awful and unfortunately people around often underevaluate the problem.

Bye

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  02R96 on Fri Jan 15, 2010 8:34 am

Yup, I'm no fun when a 6-10 or a thumper is hitting me. It's sort of like in the Exorcist when the girls face turns and reveals a demonic face.

Yeah, sort of like that...

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Re: Living with someone who suffers from migraines... help, please

Post  Stillhurtin on Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:58 am

dizzyflower wrote:When i first started getting the aura symptoms it felt like my brain wasn't making connections properly and the frustration of it made me really bad tempered as i stuggled for words like chair or cup, not complicated stuff. Some of it reminded me of the way my Gran got when she was really porly after something went wrong at the base of her brain a year before she died. i was too young to understand what had happened to her, but I remember the frightenning personality change.

For me this did get better when I discovered that the more I fought it, the worse it seemed to be. Somehow I learned to manage it more but it took a long time and a lot of patience from those around me.

You must be really caring to be doing so much research about this. Working together and feeling OK to discuss it when your friend is OK to think things through is half the battle. For me one of the worst things was that my husband and I were both trying to find answers, and my husband would ask questions as if because it was happening to me I should understand what was happening, but I didn't, which put me under a lot of stress.

I wish you all the best and if you have more questions please feel free to ask.

Di

Oh I know what you mean about the word thing!! Last night I told my three year old, "lets go, we need to get your potatoes on" as I stood in front of him holding his pajamas. It was irritating to me at first, but his reaction was soooo cute that we both giggled like kids over it for the entire remainder of bed-time.

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normal

Post  crt on Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:27 pm

Isn't it tragic that what is normal for a migraine is not normal for a completely healthy human? But such is what we deal with.

Chris

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