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Only other migraneurs....

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dawn.binks
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Post  Mini Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:10 pm

I was thinking about it only the other day that no matter how sympathetic and loving people are around us, only other migraneurs, can truly understand what it is like to live with this condition and problems of living with migraine. We are not like other people.

We cannot plan anything, we can't join in various activities, becasue we suffer from a very unpredicatble condition. We have no choice in this.

Why is it so difficult to explain, that we are not just being difficult, but that we are in pain, or feeling sick,or affraid of too much noise, or too much light, or smells, or all kinds of triggers.
I know people think, that if we only tried harder, we could "make it". They feell hurt if we make excuses, or try to explain.
Most of my immediate family and close friends are fine, but there are some people who are always questioning me, or making me feel as if I deliberately let them down.
Or, when I make an effort (despite having a h/ache) they are angry with me becasue I "look fine". I look fine becasue I take lot of trouble with my make up and clothes (I do not like people feel sorry for me) only to be met with remarks like:
I knew you would be fine once you get here, or You look fine to me, or I knew you did not really have a headache after all etc. This annoys me so much.

Then, I rember people here, and I know that only people here would understand what it is like to be "in my skin", trying to have some kind of life despite of this condition, and I must say, that this makes me feel instatly much better.

It is good to know that there is this special place, where people will always understand what it is like to live with migraine.


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Post  dawn.binks Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:26 pm

yes, agree whole heartedly mini! group hug!
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Post  Stillhurtin Wed Mar 02, 2011 3:20 pm

So true!!
I recently had two new employees start and both suffer terribly with migraines..very similar to mine (same triggers, neurological effects, etc.) It is such a diff feeling being at work on a bad M day when there are those who can just look at you and you know they truly "get it"
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Post  Migrainegirl Wed Mar 02, 2011 3:34 pm

I knew you would be fine once you get here, or You look fine to me, or I knew you did not really have a headache after all etc. This annoys me so much.

I think I would have trouble staying friends with someone like this.
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Post  gaugreg1x Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:03 pm

Shocked Oh How very true. In my case my immediate family does not even get it though, either.

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Post  Enigma Wed Mar 02, 2011 7:29 pm

I have a big supplier and sometimes we have to plan complicated orders. She gets the same horrible migraines so when it comes time to plan something and either of us are fumbling with aphasia or muddled thinking, the other totally understands and helps out.

It is such a non stressful situation for a change and security in knowing that a mistake will be caught.
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Post  Mini Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:42 am

I am so glad that you also find people at work with whom you can relate, concerning migraine, it must be such relief.
It make all the difference in the world, this one look of understanding with another migraneur, can mean so much, it makes great difference to the whole day.
This is all we want - some understanding.

I am discovering that some people in the new area where I have just moved in, some new friends also suffer from migraine, but like me they do not mention it at the time only I recognise the signs and I ask. Bbut when I do a new understanding forms immediately, like a secret code.

Migrainegirl, you know how tolerant we are of other people lack of understanding - people who make such remarks are either more distant relatives, or more distant "friends".
My close friends and family know me, and they trust me by now, so if I need to cancel, or cut a day short and go home they know I really need to.

But even my most loving freinds and realtives, do not understant some things they still not get some things like at times I can eat ceratin things at other times I cannot etc. I know I am difficult, in thsi respect, as I "listen" to my body and need to adjust accordingly.

So, I do not blame them too much, migraine is a complex condtion, I don 't understand it myself at times, so how can they.
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