Migraines caused by the visit of one's family

Who else has these? I generally have one before, during, and after the visit. I love my fam but gee whiz, they can be stressful!

By the way, they are here NOW!

Yes, families can be stressful. Especially when they have small ones!! But there is good stress and bad stress. I wonder if migaines know the difference.

ya, for me all the time. my family is not a supporative one.

I am really sorry to hear that.

yeah, that is a bummer...mine is supportive but still stressful sometimes!

Mine is kind of half and half. Supportive in some ways and not in others. No one could possibly understand this situation. It is kind of unbelievable really. I cannot believe it myself.

I get tired of the bad mouthing that who ever isn't there gets. I figured out a looonnng time ago that when I'm not there they're talking about me!

But yes, I almost always work myself into a headache before any company comes over. I'm not a good housekeeper so getting the house in order is stressful. Plus, I'm a nervous cook. I just don't like entertaining! Please , I want to be in my room reading.

I'm like Charlotte as far as not liking entertaining. I do love to cook though but not for people other than my family where it is relaxing and you can mess up the kitchen as much as you want. House cleaning isn't at the top of my list either so company coming becomes stressful even though company doesn't give a darn about how clean your house is. If they do, don't want them there anyway. I always feel more comfortable in someone else's house that looks like they actually live in it. Don't get me wrong. I like a spotless house. Just don't want me being the one to keep it that way.

Just the thought of seeing some people give's me a headache.

I don't understand the shallow petty nature of some people and my family (both sides) seems to have more than it's share. One in particular seems to think tearing down others builds herself up. Consequently, she's always fighting with someone.

hey Dan, think we're related because I've got that same family member! Last time she was here, she told my 16 y/o daughter that I was fat and wasn't cute anymore! Just the words of encouragement the chronic migraine sufferer wants to hear!

[quote="amy"]hey Dan, think we're related because I've got that same family member!

Wow, maybe we are all related. If we could just get rid of a few people, our migraine problem would be solved

Speaking for myself......since I have been in chonic pain I have begun to see things differently. How unimportant some things really are for example. And how important people make them. How much people complain. How much drama they seem to enjoy. But say they do not. How much chaos there is in this life. I am sure I am not alone in this change in perspective. So much is simply meaningless. That is what this suffering has taught me.

gailgigi - You are absolutely right. Some days (should be every day, but I sometimes forget) I am just plain thankful that I'm not in pain. That is all I need.

oh, how i can relate to this....and b/c of that, my husband, 2 daughters and i have decided to stay home for thanksgiving dinner and be joined by our neighbors (who are closer to us then some family members) and one of my brothers and his son....we are so excited to not have to deal with the drama that both sides of our families puts us through....we can hang out in our jammies, watch football and just be. Sometimes you have to make the decision that even if family is family, it doesn't give them the right to make you miserable and sick. The brother that is joining us is my "buddy" and is there for me no matter what so he gets that I'm searching daily for peace. I'm sure it will be discussed as to "how dare they not come to family dinner" but I'll be able to sleep peacefully that night knowing I did what's right for me and my family. Peace to everyone today....

AMEN...

The best Thanksgiving I ever had is when most family members couldn't make it because of weather and we invited people who either didn't have any place to go or were stuck in town because of the weather. We had such a misfit of people but all came together. It was great. Haven't been able to duplicate it ever since.

estre...that sounds like a fabulous Thanksgiving...you need to try to duplicate that...i can "hear" how happy it made you just by your words describing it!

"I'll be able to sleep peacefully that night knowing I did what's right for me and my family"

No truer words spoken.

Over the years I've developed an attitude taken from a Joan Jett song: "I don't give a damn about my bad reputation".

People are going to judge me one way or the other and I can't waste time worrying about what some "fringe" relative thinks about me. If it's an issue they can say it to my face. Then we'll talk. Oh yeah, we'll talk.

Sorry: migraine + no effective meds = bad attutude.

I keep telling myself not to care about what everyone thinks. Let them walk a mile in my shoes. Then we will see about their judgement. Some days I manage to truly not let it affect me. other days well.....

A lot of people complain about family-induced holiday stress who don't have migraines. Is it any wonder it would be even harder on those of us with migraines? Even if you have a generally great family (I count myself blessed), with all the heightened expectations, disruptions in schedule, differing opinions, and overall hecticness of holidays and family visits it is hard not get some kickbacks happening in the old brain. If your family doesn't get along that well or there is a lot of unresolved baggage it is even worse.

Best advice--lots of deep breaths, happy thoughts, and good drugs as needed.