A little help

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A little help

Post  Ronda on Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:23 am

First of all, I'm saddened to see this kind of stuff on the site. Yet again. I am more than sick of it. This is a site for migraine support. Start using it that way!

Second, if you are having a problem with specific posts, please alert me to those posts via the alert link or by sending me the URL or topic name. I can't intervene in private message wars. They are private messages... I was not aware there was bullying going on until it apparently reached some sort of tipping point. Being alerted earlier would be more beneficial.

I would ask that people quit abusing the system - and each other. I'm not on this site 24/7 - never will be - so I need you to alert me to problems BEFORE they get out of hand.

Also, some people have reported that the abuse link at the bottom of the page isn't working correctly. It used to, so not sure what's going on, but I think it's a forumotion issue. I'm looking into it. You can, however, still report a post via the little icon two to the left of the "Edit" button for each post. It's an exclamation point and hovering over it says 'Report post to moderator or admin'".


Last edited by Ronda on Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:52 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: A little help

Post  Sara79 on Thu Nov 04, 2010 10:47 am

Do you feel, as others have mentioned, that a moderator/small group of mods would be helpful?

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Re: A little help

Post  Ronda on Thu Nov 04, 2010 11:11 am

Maybe - maybe not. I would imagine there would still be arguments and people taking sides with someone other than me too. And if people don't report things (especially things that happen off the forum), then I don't see what difference it'd make. Truthfully, I'm getting a little tired of the site, so would probably opt to shut it down rather than invest more people into it. There are lots of other forums people can use that have more dedicated administrators.

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Re: A little help

Post  crt on Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:29 pm

Ronda,

Perhaps you should eliminate the misc side. Folks do use the migraine side to talk about migraines and the misc side to talk about other things. I'm not saying that all the fights are on the misc side, but I think most of them are.

I understand if you want to dump the whole thing. It's a lot of work that you don't get paid for. In fact you spend your own time and money to keep it going. I appreciate what you're doing but I know that sometimes appreciation isn't enough.

Chris
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Re: A little help

Post  Ronda on Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:32 pm

I've thought about that. I almost did when I ported the forum over from the old site. However, if the miscellaneous area is not there, all the off topic stuff just ends up mixed in with the other migraine related posts. That's why it came about in the first place. I thought this way people at least have a choice to ignore some of the off topic threads. But that's not working out quite as planned, either.

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Re: A little help

Post  CluelessKitty on Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:52 pm

Ronda, why don't you give a TRY having helpers? One month to three, or six, suppose.

I think there is not need to neither shutting this place nor to canceling Misc. sub-forum.

Forgive me for speaking openly, but I don not understand you being so opposed to having one or better - two helpers managing the forums.
Perhaps a third one for Migraine as well.
I feel more than one helper is needed simply also because if one happens to fall sick during potential disaster, another one would step in right away.

This would make your life so much easier.
First of all removing any spam and the annoying Ali's posts is really no brainer.

Second, we could choose two polar personalities who would consult each other quickly on inflaming posts
before removing them to ensure there would be no excessive censoring - I think that would work.

This way you could practically forget about this forum!
We only would need your administrative skills when something truly important, like maybe a hacking or a virus or a really difficult material discussed popped up - what do you say?


Risa


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Thank You

Post  lesherb on Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:53 pm

Ronda, Thank you so much for providing this forum for so many years. Times have changed for you and there are more important things vying for your time. If you choose to close this site down, please know we will all understand.

I have made many dear friends here over the years. If it was not for your forum, I would be a lonely migraineur thinking I'm abnormal. Finding others who suffer from the frequency and intensity I do (and others who have it much worse) made a world of difference in my life.

I wish you and your family all my best. I will remember meeting you in Chicago along with some of the people here. How magnificent that was!

With all my love and appreciation,
£eslie
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Re: A little help

Post  cupatea on Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:59 pm

"Hear Hear, Leslie".
I joined the forum initially about 10 years ago.
It has been a wealth of information, support and friendships.

This forum has been one of my personal true blessings to have come out of the age of the internet. We each are so different, yet this chronic and acute pain brings us together.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for providing us with this support over the years. Coming here over the years has helped my life, and my relationships.

You have done more than enough, Ronda, and whatever you choose to do I understand and support you.
You are wonderful!

Wishing you and your family much health and happiness,
T xo
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Re: A little help

Post  pen on Thu Nov 04, 2010 4:53 pm

I think it is sad that, as happens so much in life, the few have spoiled things for the majority.
I dont know why everyone feels they have to leave because of a bit of an upset.

I do of course feel bad for Milo and Richard if they have been bullied.
I who come on here every day, have managed to totally miss what occurred.
I understand some of it was in private messages.

As I mentioned. I had this back in April/May.
Off an on the open forum. It was upsetting to the point of making me want to leave.
But why should I leave? Why let these people hound me to that point?

I dont expect us all to get along all of the time. We are as diverse as the symptoms of our malady.
BUT, if we are all so sick, how do some people find the time to attack in this manner?
If I felt well enough to use that much energy, i would go out, not sit here hitting on a fellow sufferer.

Sadly I do think more moderation is needed on here Ronda.
And I do know your time is otherwise taken up these days.
As a mod from another forum (in the past). Locking threads can be good.
This works until you have the time to weed out the offensive posts.
It can be soul destroying to put a lot into a discussion which was interesting, only to lose the entire thread
because of a couple of bad posts I take it you have the facility to lock a thread? Why not try it.
If someone reports a thread. Lock it. No one can add insult to injury that way, and when you have a moment you can delete those posts which cause the consternation. OR you call on one of us to do that for you if you do not have time.
The thread can then be reopened with, if necessary a post from you in regard to "Why the thread was locked".

I am aware of the forum everyone is going to, and some are now on both.
Its up the everyone of course. But it is such a shame after all these years to let this one go.

We get bad times. Some make more fuss than others when these occur.
We are adults, can we not get along and support each other in our common cause?
I would have hoped so.

Thanks for the forum Ronda. I hope you dont close it.
If I can help in any way....

Cheers.
Pen

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Re: A little help

Post  Guest on Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:52 pm

This is unfortunatel that such a community as this has been damaged by such a few that twist and contort their views to their own end.

Simple enough, as the great Gordon Gekko is asked....."why'd you wreck the company Gordon?" Gordon replies "Because it's wreckable."



The double standard, libelous and slanderous statements continues by those that hide behind their latest and greatest catch phrase. Such hypocracy.

Rhonda, you've given a wonderful gift to all. It's sad that you want to shut it down.....as this type of behavior warrants. So many punished for so few.

Please advise how you will handle the data that has been collected on these sites and how privacy will be protected if you do decide to NUKE IT.

Please give us some notice so we can all put our affairs in order--we've all made some good friends over the years.

Yes, NUKE IT.


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Re: A little help

Post  Petzi on Thu Nov 04, 2010 10:22 pm

No, please Ronda .... no nuking!

I have only recently joined your forum, but I have been visiting the site for years. When I discovered it I was so relieved that I was not the only one who suffered from migraines to such a degree. It gave me great comfort to know that I am not alone and to learn how others are dealing with their migraine related problems. It would be a shame if you'd close down the forum.

Love

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Re: A little help

Post  Brenda on Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:43 am

Thank you Ronda for providing a home for all of us these many years. I've been here a very long time. Over a decade, I believe. I'd hate to see it shut down, but I can certainly understand your frustration and your change in focus of your life. I understand why you may not want moderators, and I think it's a shame they're even needed as we're all adults here and SHOULD be able to police ourselves as such. I'll abide by your decision, whatever that will be. Personally, I'd really hate to see the Misc. side go away. This is where I come to just "catch up" with my friends here and not have to talk about migraines. Sometimes I feel like they've already claimed too much of my time and attention.

Again, Ronda, thank you for all you've done over the years. You'll never know how much it has meant to me.
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Re: A little help

Post  Paradox on Fri Nov 05, 2010 1:09 am

Ronda,

I haven't been on the site for as long as others, on and off for about four years, so I don't know if this is a natural ebb and flow that happens occasionally and then irons out.

I do know that I met my best friend here. A woman I shall probably never meet, nor chat with on the phone, but a best friend none the less, who knows all my secrets, who I can tell anything too. Without Ronda's we never would have found each other and bonded over this life we are forced to endure.

The friends I've met here help me endure with a little more grace and a little more laughter. It is through the misc. side that we really get to "know " one another. Good and bad.

I understand the extra work you take on to maintain this. And I also understand that you may find that you don't have the time to invest when it doesn't seem to be appreciated.

Please know I appreciate all you do. Whatever you decide to do I will back. But thank you, thank you for the haven you have provided me and the many friendships I've formed.

I love you I love you Arrow I love you
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Re: A little help

Post  Mianna on Fri Nov 05, 2010 8:49 am

.


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Re: A little help

Post  pen on Fri Nov 05, 2010 9:52 am

I dont know about the rest of you, but I dont want to go to a new forum.
I like this one. It seems things kicked off and I was unaware.
That is unacceptable, but these things happen.
Doesnt make it right, but we are all adults, cant we deal with and move on?
I hope so.

I'm for staying if Ronda will keep it going.
I got over my bullying experience. It was horrible, but.
No one should run from bullies, that just lets them win.
Mine got outed because she did it on the forum as well as off.
My friends saw what was going on. I didnt realise I had so many friends until this occured.
Was almost worth it...Smile

I am here, she is gone. I am thankful for that.
I'm for staying.

I hope you will allow that Ronda. flower

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Re: A little help

Post  4me2know on Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:09 pm

I do resent this posting on the other forum........I don't think the ones that remain are condoning anything! I don't blame Ronda for being mad.

""" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx """

Edit: Suffice it to say that we are not being called nice things on the other forum, but I am removing it. I felt we had a right to see whats being written about us. I don't like being called what I was called for staying here. That was the unfair thing. Not me posting it. I should have linked to it instead of copying it. Sorry.

You can read these forums without ever having a userid. Or there can be more than one person in a house using the forum so there may be different userids. Just because I want to remain anonymous doesn't mean I am doing something bad. Hope these x's help. I will try to ignore the other forum from now on.


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Re: A little help

Post  pen on Fri Nov 05, 2010 12:46 pm

This is why we must not bow to this.
Please Ronda let us keep going.
Any one of us would help you I am sure.
If we just keep the spam down it means you have a little less to do.
I dont want the other forum. I like this one....

4me2know. Excuse me, am I missing something. I dont recognise you...
Is it a name change.....who are you please?
Thanks for the post. sunny

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Re: A little help

Post  HeelerLady on Fri Nov 05, 2010 1:30 pm

4me2know - I know who you are and if you can't stand it around here, then why are you here under a new name? Why don't you stick to your new forum if it's so much better?

Did you ever stop to think that your posts were inflammatory and that's why they were deleted? I know there were several that offended me but I chose to not read any farther and not to respond. It wasn't the issue that was the problem, it was the tone and inference you made. But then you will probably label me as homophobic and that's fine with me. I don't agree with you and that is intolerable to you.

Ronda - I only found your site within the last year. If you would decide to shut it down, I do understand. I've see what's happened and I can only imagine the headache it's causing you. I will say that this site has been a true blessing to me - I was so isolated and thinking I was crazy with all the problems. I've learned a lot and met so many amazing people. Thank you for starting this site in the first place.
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Re: A little help

Post  4me2know on Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:11 pm

I fear you misunderstand my post - I am saying we who remain are being called people who condone meaness and we are not. I do not see what you are saying about me HeelerLady. I did not write the post but copied it from the other forum whilst browsing that forum. I fear you read it incorrectly and think I wrote it. I copied it. The copied post is inclosed in triple """ marks. I read this forum and would hate to see it gone. I am a long time reader of the forum. Please forgive me if I have upset you.

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Re: A little help

Post  pen on Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:24 pm

Okay, but as you read this forum. Why have you only joined today please?
Under what name were you reading it. You have just joined and posted right away.
So what stopped you when you were just reading....
We always welcome new people, but based on what you said, you are not new, but yet we dont know you.

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Re: A little help

Post  HeelerLady on Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:26 pm

4me2know - I do apologize and beg your pardon. I do think I misread it, I thought you were someone else who had taken another identity and was using a post to further blast those remaining here. I didn't get that the post was a copy of another user - the triple quotes meant nothing (other than a weird typo that is known to happen around here). Now that you have clarified, boy do I feel sheepish. Embarassed

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Re: A little help

Post  tecky on Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:27 pm

Ronda,

Ditto to "lesherb" and "cupatea" 's posts. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all you have done.

I hope you understand how much this site has meant to some of us who are chronic migraineurs and don't get out much. This site, what you have done, and the friendships I've made via this site are priceless blessings.
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Re: A little help

Post  ajr on Fri Nov 05, 2010 2:40 pm

I've learned so much information from everyone here regarding migraines, doctors, tests, etc. It has been very helpful to me. And when I take my son to the doctor I feel like I know more than the average person thanks to this site. It is very appreciated Ronda.
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Re: A little help

Post  pen on Fri Nov 05, 2010 4:04 pm

We are still here Ronda and see how much this forum is appreciated.
those that were not happy have gone.
Can we take it day at a time and see how we go maybe please?

Hope so.

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Re: A little help

Post  Ronda on Sat Nov 06, 2010 1:53 am

There is an ebb and flow. And things get uncomfortable on the board periodically, and more moderation seems to be needed, and I consider just shutting it down. So far I haven't. I was just saying I may take that option rather than get more people involved in it. I've had this site for 14 years - that's a long time! Let's see what happens. I'll think about the other options as well.

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Re: A little help

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