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Is "Good Time" A Blessing or a Curse?

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alli
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Post  Richard Thu Aug 26, 2010 11:55 am

I have enjoyed the best summer in 10 years - migraine wise. I have awoken without pain, been able to drive, meet new people ... live a bit. Not like a non-migrainer, not by a long shot. But I really have enjoyed myself.

but I am sinking back into daily chronic episodes. And I wonder, was that good time a blessing or a curse?

I enjoyed it, but as I return to my "normal" life of great disability, the good time hurts. It really hurts to remember what I have lost ... I cannot really feelingly remember no migraine time ... but today I can remember feeling good enough to make committments, to chance new friendships, to get out there a bit. And losing that is really hard.

I almost would have preferred to remain steady in a disabled state. To give a thristy man a quarter cup of water when he needs a quart can be a very cruel experience.

Well, my ever present optimism will rise to the front again soon ... but today, I am angry that I cannot have what little I enjoyed this summer. this feeling will pass ... but today I am ticked.
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Post  LizzieB Thu Aug 26, 2010 1:24 pm

Richard I feel for you, it's just not fair is it, well it seems that way sometimes however philosophical you try to be.

I can equate in a small way - last week I had 3 triptan free days, a first for months for me. It wasn't just the relief of not taking the tablets which I hate doing and the brief feeling of almost being normal, it was the promise of more to come. And I wanted more. Is that unreasonable?

Maybe . . . . you're just having a sort of relapse, you know one step forward and two back. I do hope so and that better times are round the corner sunny

Liz
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Post  alli Thu Aug 26, 2010 1:36 pm

I know what you mean. I have periods when the migraines and all the body pain are less and I think yay! I'm getting better. Then the shoe drops. The weather changes, my triggers are all uppity, body pain gets really bad. I can't walk easily, I have to use a cane when out and about for more than a couple of hours if I am on my feet. My hands hurt so much I can't grip anything, much less cook they way I want to as I am afraid of cutting myself again. And my brain just stops working. Talking is like mush and I say the strangest things. I know what I want to say but what comes out is a bit different.

The way I look at it during those tough times is that it WILL get better again and it will get worse again. I treasure those times when I feel good because that is what carries me through the hard times.

Hang in there, Richard. It WILL get better again.
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Post  HeelerLady Thu Aug 26, 2010 1:55 pm

It is so hard. I had 4 M free days last week - first days in over a year! Was wonderful and now things are back to the way they were. I was hoping things were improving but maybe not...

RATS! Like some cruel joke...
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Post  sailingmuffin Thu Aug 26, 2010 3:58 pm

Hi All,

I think it is both. It is, without a doubt, a great blessing to feel good, even for a time after suffering for so long. However, many times I have noticed that I am amprehensive, knowing that the pain will most likely return- and with a vengence. In the Bible, on several occaisions, God mentions sending his people "blessings and curses." I think this falls into that category. (Sorry, the former divinity school student in me couldn't resist the reference. I hope it doesn't bother anyone."

I remember my first period of remission- it lasted eight months and occured 6 years after the headaches became chronic. I was able to do British Studies that summer and would give anything to go back to that time when the meds worked and I was able to enjoy everything without worrying about a headache, or worrying too much about it. It was horrible when the migraines came back, but I don't think I'd trade it for a second.

Right now, the pain is really bad. It will get better sometime, but i am just getting by right now.

So migraine is both.

Pain free days,
sailingm
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Post  VickiG Mon Sep 06, 2010 4:57 pm

I so completely understand your thoughts, Richard! I have said that same thing to my therapist several times. I had a really good day (for me) at my friend's wedding a year and a half ago, and the ensuing days were even harder. I started to improve a bit in the fall, and when I crashed down really hard while in Brazil for Christmas, I fell to pieces, physically and emotionally.

I think what is hard is that it's just not the body that reacts to these bad times, but the spirit as well. My emotional state when I hit low after a slightly better time has always been really bad. I really get bad and often get suicidal.

Sailing Muffin's reference made me think of the classic line from the TV show Monk: It's a blessing . . . and a curse. I guess that's what it is for us too!
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Post  marion Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:37 pm

One thing I have learnt. If you are having a good time, DO NOT brag about it. Was saying to I think Kate on a thread on Saturday that I have been sooooo good lately. Next morning stepped off the bottom stair at home onto the paver and went a--e up.

Sooooooooo angry with self for being sooooooooo stupid.. Stupid stupid stupid woman.
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