What to wear to a Funeral?

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Post  Ruth on Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:05 pm

This may sound like a silly question, but I'm not sure what you are supposed to wear to a funeral these days.
I have one on Wednesday, my dear uncle passed away on Friday. I hate the thought of wearing all black as I'm sure he
wouldn't have wanted that. Any ideas? I'm stuck!

Ruth

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Post  HeelerLady on Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:08 pm

Just wear something nice. A bit dressy but it doesn't have to be black. I wore a gray suit to my grandmother's funeral and didn't look out of place. I wore dress pants and a nice top to another.
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Post  pen on Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:12 pm

Sorry to hear about your Uncle, Ruth.

Last two I have been to I have worn fairly sober clothes, but not black.
To my Uncle's I wore black trousers and a purple top.

I was probably the most "funeral" dressed person there as it happens.

Older people seem to still wear black, but it seems to be less of a thing these days.

Does that help at all?

Pen



Last edited by pen on Mon Jul 26, 2010 3:06 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  crt on Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:14 pm

In the case where you know the person fairly well, ask yourself what he or she would have liked. I can think of a surfer buddy of mine who died in an auto accident. He would have been happiest if all memorial service attendees wore shorts and sandals and that's what most people did.

For my Mom's memorial service I wore a dress that I know she would have liked. I almost never were dresses and she knew that. I know she would have appreciated the dress I bought. It was kinda 40s looking. It was rayon, which I love; black background with cream colored roses. It was a nice print. I found some silver rose stud earrings that matched the roses on the dress. Mom was very fond of roses.

My point is, what would the deceased have liked?


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Post  Almostangela on Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:53 pm

Sorry about your loss.

I wore a beautiful steel grey skirt to my brother funeral, but I could never wear it again. Something to consider.

Angela
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Post  milo on Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:08 pm

I agree, wear what you think your Uncle would have liked. If he was aformal guy, go formal, if he was casual and laid back, do the same but also remember the rest of your family and what they may consider appropriate.

I can't for the life of me remember what I wore to my kid brothers funeral because it was not an important detail to remember at the time.
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Post  Ruth on Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:14 pm

Thankyou so much for your help. I think I'll just wear black dress slacks and a nice top.
I appreciate your help!

Ruth

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Post  lostinobx on Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:43 am

Risa,

I work in a funeral home. People today wear just about anything to funerals. They wear suits, nice dresses, slacks, skirts, black, greys, browns, reds, flowery things, jeans, and I could go on and on.

So, my personal advice would be to wear something like a nice skirt or nice pair of slacks with a top. As far as color, depends on what you have. If you have a black skirt or slacks, then wear a top of a differrent color to go with it. Honestly, it really doesn't matter as long as you are comfortable.

Hugs!

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Post  Ruth on Tue Jul 27, 2010 8:43 am

Thankyou Lostinabox, I appreciate your advice.

Gosh, what's it like working in a funeral home? Sorry if this is a bit nosy, I'm just curious, have you been doing this for long?

Ruth

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Post  lostinobx on Tue Jul 27, 2010 9:27 am

Sorry Ruth - I answered thinking Risa asked the questioned. Just wanted to apoligize for that Smile

My field of work is a paralegal, but unfortunately, I cannot find a job right now doing that type of work. So, I have been working for the funeral home since January.

I have to say, it's not as hard as you might imagine. At first, I was kind of reluctant because I would have to see - how can I put this - deceased people. But, what I have found so far is that the hardest part is having to deal with the death of a child or someone my age as being the hardest.

I guess it's like any other job, you just get use to it. It is depressing, but you have to try and separate yourself from it. That has been the hardest thing for me to do.

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Post  survivor on Tue Jul 27, 2010 9:42 am

I agree that you should wear something that deceased would have approved of and something that makes you comfortable.


When my mom died a lot of us showed up wearing red because it was her favorite color. My grandmother, at least three of my aunts, one of my sisters and I all had on red. Another aunt(mom's SIL) told me I looked nice and asked about all the red. I pointed out it was Mom's favorite color and she said, "Well, shoot. I didn't get the memo. If it weren't so late I would run home and change." She was serious.


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Post  Greeneyes on Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:03 pm

Ruth,
Just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry about your Uncle passing away..our thoughts and prayers are with you.

When my Dad passed away I wore black..
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Post  Richard on Sun Aug 01, 2010 8:54 am

My sympathy, Ruth.

As the recent starring widower at a funeral, I can honestly say that I do not remember what I or anyone else wore to Steve's service. Not one single idea. My moral is that I do not believe it matters one bit.

Wearing something one feels comfortable in, and/or wearing an outfit in honor of the deceased makes great sense to me. Bit I remember faces, not clothes ... then again, maybe that is a guy thing.
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Post  Ruth on Sun Aug 01, 2010 7:15 pm

Thanks again. I know people can wear whatever they want to my funeral!

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